I came over as an ALT back in April. Recently I’ve been feeling a bit down. I thought Japan would be an adventure (I am a big Final Fantasy fan) but in many ways, Japan is less developed than USA (in many ways more developed though). Recently, I’ve come down with the “blues”. My salary is also lower than what I made in America
Any ideas for coping with feeling down? I don’t want it to impact my work
23 comments
Go back home. You’ll only get more miserable the longer you stay here. Your mental health will suffer and it will impact your work.
“My salary is also lower than what I made in America”
I mean, you did enough research to figure this out before coming over, yeah?
How much Japanese do you understand? Generally the depressed ones are the ones who don’t have the basics down. Or they were depressed when they were “back home”, which really makes moving here a bad move. Very rarely does a new country where you don’t understand very much help with depression or mental health issues.
Not to diminish what you’re experiencing, but please know that what you’re feeling is *extremely* common. Almost everyone who lives in another country/culture experiences a hard “come down” stage after a few months as part of the normal culture shock curve.
It’ll get better with time. Then you will feel down again, or even angry at times. Then it will get better. The cycle continues, but for most people, each emotional “wave” gets smaller and smaller as time goes on. It’s all part of a natural and well-documented cycle of adjustment for people who live in a foreign cultural environment.
In the short term, do things that make you feel connected to your own culture. Talk to family and friends over video chat. Indulge in snacks and foods from the US. Binge your favorite comedies and dramas.
Edit: I’ll add that if the feelings do not get better with time, you may just not be cut out for living abroad. It’s not for everyone. There’s no shame in hanging up the towel if you decide it’s a bad fit for you.
I would stop overthinking these two aspects and focus on other things that you can control, such as having a fun social life, doing fun hobbies there, learning the language or culture, exploring your local areas, etc. Keep applying to higher paying jobs while you are there as well, maybe eventually you can get something better, but also keep in mind the work environment and other aspects instead of just focusing on salary. Remember your reason for coming to Japan in the first place, it has to be a strong reason(s) to persevere.
Did you think Japan was like Final Fantasy? If so, and you didn’t know anything else about the country or do any research, that’s pretty shallow.
Reminds me of an old otaku coworker I worked with at a summer camp who had a student named Yuna and he would tell her “Summon Ifrit, Yuna!” and we were all like WTF
Is this a meme?
Life is what you make of it. My experience living in rural Japan has been a huge adventure. My work life is pretty fun and I’ve managed to make several friends. My weekends and vacations when I get them are special because I go out of my way to plan and go on adventures. Your experience will be what you make of it. You aren’t Bilbo Baggins, adventure isn’t going to come and knock on your door, you have to take the initiative.
Just another weeb fantasy that never pans out
Not sure if this is a troll but if not, this is a case of reality hitting home. Moving to a foreign country is seen as an adventure but it’s often different to what you expect. Everyday life is the same in any country – get up, go to work, etc. Once the novelty wears off living in Japan is just like living in any other country but with added frustrations that you mention like a lower salary, and difficulties in communicating.
Nice trolling.
Explore, learn, see and do things. Make new friends. Try different foods. Don’t sit at home. As the other posters said, what you’re experiencing is quite normal.
Find stuff to do. If you go to the local Yakuba (town hall) there is usually some office or person that will be enthusiastic about internationals (there is always at least one if they don’t have their own department) and talk to them about volunteer opportunities, or find some way to make your community look nicer like weeding outside or something.
It is a little hot at the moment, do limit yourself to mornings for 30 or so minutes, but it gets you outside, you start to see neighbors on other people who you can say hi to, they might even start a conversation. I clean around a local temple and help with an old path to a river, and ring the bell at a temple at 6 pm at least once a week.
The exercise will likely help lift your mood slightly, and the possible social contact can be a nice change of pace.
Go hiking! Explore nature. Try foods you’ve never had before (or didn’t know about). I too am a big Final Fantasy fan from the U.S. (I’m moving to Japan later this month), and it seems to me that it’s possible to find adventure anywhere. You just have to be looking for it.
There is a word for this but I can’t remember it. Basically you had an image of what this would be and reality was very different. A friend in college had an entire mental breakdown that started from this… not sure if it was the main trigger but yea.. take care of yourself and look for better opportunities and growth for yourself. You can make opportunities by giving yourself more skills and also just basic networking.
Happens to everyone. I don’t know your particular situation but if the current state of America bothers you I would try to ride the Japan wave for as long as you can. Getting acclimated to Japan and making connections here would open up your options and would help you firm up a plan B or “bug out plan.” I don’t want to sound alarmist but my present day self cannot thank my yester year self enough for coming to Japan and establishing a life here away from America. America is so upsetting and disappointing.
It just gets harder the older you get.
Just my advice but you might consider setting a hard goal/timeline for yourself. Within reason, no matter what happens not to leave before a certain time. For example hard commit to stay here for a year at least and go from there. You might feel better after you truly commit to a length of time rather than always thinking when can I go home etc.
Also don’t be afraid to buy the things you need… If you’re always thinking I’m just going to go home what’s the use? Then you’ll never accumulate anything that would make your life here better. Make yourself as comfortable as possible.
Some questions I used to ask myself when I got bit down.
1. What else would I be doing in America?
2. What is the health of my family?
3. If I leave Japan am I ok with never coming back? Before you leave just give yourself the chance to know that you don’t want to be here anymore. You will know when enough is enough. If you don’t know then the chances are you can keep on going.
4. What am I holding back on? What am I not doing that I would really like to be doing? And do that thing.
Good luck! I hope you find your peace with Japan and have a happy life here!
Hobbies. You need to occupy your time and mind on something that brings you enjoy and productivity.
I like playing video games but I feel what’s helped me most in the last year is going to the gym. Exercise is very good for mental health.
JCJ bait.
There are 3 stages of living abroad.
Stage 1: Everything is awesome! (oh my god even the drain covers are cool!)
Stage 2: Everything sucks! (why can’t I buy a f**king normal sandwich anywhere?)
Stage 3: Acceptance that the country is like any other (OK my salary sucks but the healthcare is way better)
Welcome to stage 2.
Japan is not a video game. You knew your salary before you moved here. No sympathy here. Maybe go back home to your higher paying job and more developed country
1. I thought Japan would be an adventure (I am a big Final Fantasy fan)
Seems like someone is suffering from “Tokyo Syndrome,” which is similar to Paris Syndrome – the false belief that the city is just like the movies and when faced with the reality, depressed. If you base your belief that a new city will be a lot like a fantasy video game, anime, or any general pop culture output – trouble is ahead. As you have discovered, Japan is not endless Pikachu’s, cosplayers, and a Gaia lifestyle, People have to work in banks, factories, water purification, trash pickup, and Dennys.
2. Japan is less developed than the USA
Some research on Japan before coming over would have told you this country is a lot like 1989 USA in terms of gender issues, working conditions, political thought, and more. Thousnads of articles and blog posts on this.
3. My salary is lower
Again, a light bit of research before would have saved you this shock.
That all said, hindsight is 20/20 and you can’t change having made some decisions based on incorrect or just dreamy rose-colored glasses.
What to do, assuming you want to stay here?
1. If you enjoy teaching, then look into logging experience, getting some additional certs and either (at the 3-4 year mark) trying to get a higher paying job as an ALT/teacher at a Japanese private school. Or spend time on getting licensed in home country and try to get on at an interantional school run by your home country here.
2. Go to the meet-up page and join some hobby groups. Find like-minded people that like hiking or boating or wine tasting or whatever. There is no need to jump in and be “I will do only Japanese sports to be at one!” If you want to get into judo, cool, but don’t think being here requires it.
3. Find some joy in the things that aren’t based on your pop culture dreams here. Hunt up cool cafes with a nice menu. Stroll in Ginza and check the architecture. Japan is Japan but it doesn’t need to be “Japan-y kawaii Bladerunner” to be appreciated.
And of course, finally, there are over 100 other countries in the world. Just because someone lives in Country A for a bit and then goes to Country B, and then C, and maybe circles back to “home country,” it doesn’t indicate a falire. Not sure why some think it does – like moving to Malaysia or back to home country means failure – but some do. You can certainly test out another culture or take the experiences you gained here back to home country and use them to improve your career path there as you’d be able to pop in things like “experienced in cross-cultural communication, taught class with subject of cultural appreciation,” etc.
You are suffering culture shock/stress. It’s normal, you’ll get over it.
Japan was a huge bummer for me. The societal restrictions and judgements were deflating, the cost of living was comparable if not worse to my original New Jersey, and while I was a video game nerd I quickly found that no amount of money I blew buying Dreamcast and Saturn games was going to heal my total boredom and apathy towards the country.
So I moved. I went to South Korea, which frankly is more culturally “boring” than Japan but hell have I had a better life. I make and save more money, I can eat out and drink if I want yo every night and still save $1200 a month, culturally it isn’t any bit alike Japan and no obnoxious judgements about where you smoke a cigarette or hang out with friends, and man— just everything just so much better.
I really love Taiwan as well, loved living there for a few months, and would have moved if not for Covid screwing up borders. You won’t make as much money, and it can get crazy hot, but it’s a really fun place to be.
But yeah, alike you and probably so many others, I went into Japan basically an acolyte of the “Cool Japan” program; for me it was literature (not manga, no) and video games, but then living in Japan— not interested in the restrictions and judgements, thought I was “prepared” and really was, but turns out I didn’t like them and wanted no part.
Only thing I miss is the high availability of smoking inside haha.
Also, I spoke Japanese fairly well, could talk about literature in bars and things, whereas Korea I was totally illiterate when I moved. Made no difference; if anything, early illiteracy in Korea maybe helped quite a bit 🙂
Ppl still thinking this form of work and resume building opportunity is a paid vacation smh