I’m thinking maaaaaybe they should let the gays marry someone they actually love, sometime within the next 50 years, then
Hence the triving prostitution industry.
I am curious. Too busy or just dont care?
Sounds like a business opportunity
I had a conversation with a guy friend on this topic. He mentioned he wouldn’t want to get intimate with his partner since he would see them as family. I naturally argued saying this kinda approach would end up in a situation where both parties are cheating and that was a given for him. I also asked my girl friends about this out of curiosity confirming if they would be okay with this kind of an approach in their marriage and they said yes as long as I don’t know and we’re in peace. I take it’s the way people think of intimacy here, certain industries being overly saturated also does not help.
When you work 16 hours plus no sexy time.
I guess the important point comes at the end of the article. It’s a trend brought on by changing social norms and mentality but it’s not necessarily a bad thing if people are fine with it
in india that’d be 4 in 5
I think a majority of these relationships become sexless after having a child. Traditionally the relationship roles of husband and wife transition to father and mother. This gets extended to all aspects of the relationship, including romance. Culturally, maintenance of a relationship past childbirth simply isn’t talked about, emphasized, or considered something that is important in Japanese society. When you have two Japanese people engaging in a relationship they generally understand what is to come once they have children. This is more problematic when either spouse is non-Japanese, due to a mismatch in expectation.
With 1/3 lying to look good 🤣🤣🤣
do they take anti-depressants?
married or not i find that this is partly a consequence of long term relationships in general, hard to keep it engaging 5-10 years doing it over and over
Idk me and my husband try to get it on regularly but it is kinda hard to get in the mood when you have two kids, one works A LOT, and you are horribly exhausted and just wanna veg out together and watch something before bed. Small living spaces also don’t help.
One thing I’ve seen argued is that the Japanese get their very peculiar relationship with sex comes from their centuries of isolation leading to extremely low rates of STDs. In the West, cultures were preoccupied with fidelity & faithfulness because sex was deadly business, and promiscuity had a very good chance of not only killing you, but your partner & children as well (just look at pictures of congenital syphilis before antibiotics and you’ll see what I mean). This relative safety meant that marriage could effectively be seen as a business transaction between families and a mechanism for producing children, with intimacy being sourced from outside the home assuming those two primary obligations are met.
Some books worth reading on this subject are *The Geisha and her Art* by Miriam Nobel and *Women of the Pleasure Quarters* by Leslie Downer.
How many of them get sex outside the marriage?
I watched a Japanese drama with my about this, あなたはしてくれなくても. Wife has a friend with the same issue despite wanting kids. A married woman goes years without sex due to husband working late and being ‘tired’, he claims to have ‘wife ED’ or something (seemingly a thing in Japan, people view wives as family and lose romantic interest), and also doesn’t want kids. But then he cheats on her.
She loses self confidence and at work confides in the handsome high flyer salaryman who likes her, and who just so happens to also be ‘less’ because his wife is a high flyer magazine editor or something and is too tired for sex/doesn’t want kids yet to focus on her career (but somehow has never heard of contraception).
Eventually after the main woman and salaryman get a divorce, she decides to… not get with him, but just be by herself. The salaryman doesn’t give up and it resolves in the dramatic conclusion where… she gets back with her ex husband. Because… she still liked him? I think? And no resolution to being sexless or having kids. It was the most infuriatingly stupid Japanese tv I’ve ever watched.
I think that maybe part of the problem is the way marriage is handled in Japan. My Japanese husband and I are a gay couple who were legally married in the US. Before he came out to his parents he was under relentless pressure to get married and have kids. They even had this big house built for him when he was in college for his future wife and kids. Much to their dismay, we are living together in it now.
That’s a common problem for most young Japanese people. They get a lot of pressure from family and society (employers) to get married and raise a family. In many cases it’s the parents who play matchmaker, so a lot of Japanese people get married to people they didn’t really choose in order to appease family and societal expectations.
Marriages tend to be more of a family or societal arrangement rather than an arrangement borne of romantic love, so a lot of couples begin a marriage without feeling any real passion for each other.
Fuck it im saying it, if you don’t want a 70% chance of your sex life going to shit just don’t have kids.
If you are ok with those odds great, but no amount of “we are different” will actually make any difference for most people when you are neck deep in baby shit, and you probably won’t have any semblance of real time for anything.
I’m not really aiming at any particular gender here or anything it applies equally to everyone, if you are happy and things are working out don’t risk it. Societies have become incredibly hostile for parenting, that’s why people don’t have kids, nothing wrong with that unless it’s a life goal of yours or something like that.
This is me, currently on one child. Going well except for sex is so slow (once a month on average). The kid is now two. Still sleeps in our room due to space in the house. I get home at 5, pick up the kid, make dinner, etc. Wife gets home about 7-8. Kid goes to bed about 9:30. After that, we are pretty much wiped out.
My friends who claim to have a good sex life have their kids in another room and asleep by like 8.
Honestly, the slow sex was not a problem at first. Let’s say nine months. The head scramble of being a new father and the lack of sleep etc. but over the last year it’s become a problem.
I seriously think if we had another kid, I’d eventually be looking elsewhere for sex.
The problem is real for childless marriages too.
No wonder adultfriendfinder is full of these married people
Was the survey only done in Tokyo? I’d be interested to see if/how the statistics change out in the boonies.
I’ve asked a few people I know and they say they have a fairly healthy sex life at home. Though they could also just be lying about it to save face and it admittedly isn’t a huge number of people.
they’re still having sex just not with each other
Reminded me of an interview i saw on tv probably 10 years ago or more… about this japanese couple. The lady doesn’t want to work and was looking for someone to finance her living so she entered into A Sexless marriage with a guy. She basically just tends to housechores, fixing meals and has a monthly allowance. The husband is more than happy to have his home spick & span, laundry freshly pressed, hearty bento lunches and pipping hot meals at the end of his day. Obviously they sleep separately and heads to their own room every night. Wonder what is the percentage jump of such sexless marriages now in Japan?
Why is Japan seeking the dissolution of the controversial Unification Church? | CNN https://edition.cnn.com/2023/10/14/asia/japan-unification-church-dissolution-explainer-hnk-dst-intl/index.html
Pay hikes at major Japanese firms average 2.27%, top business lobby says https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2022/05/20/business/labor-management-negotiation-keidanren/
25 comments
The true Plato lovers
I’m thinking maaaaaybe they should let the gays marry someone they actually love, sometime within the next 50 years, then
Hence the triving prostitution industry.
I am curious. Too busy or just dont care?
Sounds like a business opportunity
I had a conversation with a guy friend on this topic. He mentioned he wouldn’t want to get intimate with his partner since he would see them as family.
I naturally argued saying this kinda approach would end up in a situation where both parties are cheating and that was a given for him.
I also asked my girl friends about this out of curiosity confirming if they would be okay with this kind of an approach in their marriage and they said yes as long as I don’t know and we’re in peace.
I take it’s the way people think of intimacy here, certain industries being overly saturated also does not help.
When you work 16 hours plus no sexy time.
I guess the important point comes at the end of the article. It’s a trend brought on by changing social norms and mentality but it’s not necessarily a bad thing if people are fine with it
in india that’d be 4 in 5
I think a majority of these relationships become sexless after having a child. Traditionally the relationship roles of husband and wife transition to father and mother. This gets extended to all aspects of the relationship, including romance. Culturally, maintenance of a relationship past childbirth simply isn’t talked about, emphasized, or considered something that is important in Japanese society. When you have two Japanese people engaging in a relationship they generally understand what is to come once they have children. This is more problematic when either spouse is non-Japanese, due to a mismatch in expectation.
With 1/3 lying to look good 🤣🤣🤣
do they take anti-depressants?
married or not i find that this is partly a consequence of long term relationships in general, hard to keep it engaging 5-10 years doing it over and over
Idk me and my husband try to get it on regularly but it is kinda hard to get in the mood when you have two kids, one works A LOT, and you are horribly exhausted and just wanna veg out together and watch something before bed. Small living spaces also don’t help.
One thing I’ve seen argued is that the Japanese get their very peculiar relationship with sex comes from their centuries of isolation leading to extremely low rates of STDs. In the West, cultures were preoccupied with fidelity & faithfulness because sex was deadly business, and promiscuity had a very good chance of not only killing you, but your partner & children as well (just look at pictures of congenital syphilis before antibiotics and you’ll see what I mean). This relative safety meant that marriage could effectively be seen as a business transaction between families and a mechanism for producing children, with intimacy being sourced from outside the home assuming those two primary obligations are met.
Some books worth reading on this subject are *The Geisha and her Art* by Miriam Nobel and *Women of the Pleasure Quarters* by Leslie Downer.
How many of them get sex outside the marriage?
I watched a Japanese drama with my about this, あなたはしてくれなくても. Wife has a friend with the same issue despite wanting kids. A married woman goes years without sex due to husband working late and being ‘tired’, he claims to have ‘wife ED’ or something (seemingly a thing in Japan, people view wives as family and lose romantic interest), and also doesn’t want kids. But then he cheats on her.
She loses self confidence and at work confides in the handsome high flyer salaryman who likes her, and who just so happens to also be ‘less’ because his wife is a high flyer magazine editor or something and is too tired for sex/doesn’t want kids yet to focus on her career (but somehow has never heard of contraception).
Eventually after the main woman and salaryman get a divorce, she decides to… not get with him, but just be by herself. The salaryman doesn’t give up and it resolves in the dramatic conclusion where… she gets back with her ex husband. Because… she still liked him? I think? And no resolution to being sexless or having kids. It was the most infuriatingly stupid Japanese tv I’ve ever watched.
I think that maybe part of the problem is the way marriage is handled in Japan. My Japanese husband and I are a gay couple who were legally married in the US. Before he came out to his parents he was under relentless pressure to get married and have kids. They even had this big house built for him when he was in college for his future wife and kids. Much to their dismay, we are living together in it now.
That’s a common problem for most young Japanese people. They get a lot of pressure from family and society (employers) to get married and raise a family. In many cases it’s the parents who play matchmaker, so a lot of Japanese people get married to people they didn’t really choose in order to appease family and societal expectations.
Marriages tend to be more of a family or societal arrangement rather than an arrangement borne of romantic love, so a lot of couples begin a marriage without feeling any real passion for each other.
Fuck it im saying it, if you don’t want a 70% chance of your sex life going to shit just don’t have kids.
If you are ok with those odds great, but no amount of “we are different” will actually make any difference for most people when you are neck deep in baby shit, and you probably won’t have any semblance of real time for anything.
I’m not really aiming at any particular gender here or anything it applies equally to everyone, if you are happy and things are working out don’t risk it. Societies have become incredibly hostile for parenting, that’s why people don’t have kids, nothing wrong with that unless it’s a life goal of yours or something like that.
This is me, currently on one child. Going well except for sex is so slow (once a month on average). The kid is now two. Still sleeps in our room due to space in the house. I get home at 5, pick up the kid, make dinner, etc. Wife gets home about 7-8. Kid goes to bed about 9:30. After that, we are pretty much wiped out.
My friends who claim to have a good sex life have their kids in another room and asleep by like 8.
Honestly, the slow sex was not a problem at first. Let’s say nine months. The head scramble of being a new father and the lack of sleep etc. but over the last year it’s become a problem.
I seriously think if we had another kid, I’d eventually be looking elsewhere for sex.
The problem is real for childless marriages too.
No wonder adultfriendfinder is full of these married people
Was the survey only done in Tokyo? I’d be interested to see if/how the statistics change out in the boonies.
I’ve asked a few people I know and they say they have a fairly healthy sex life at home. Though they could also just be lying about it to save face and it admittedly isn’t a huge number of people.
they’re still having sex just not with each other
Reminded me of an interview i saw on tv probably 10 years ago or more… about this japanese couple. The lady doesn’t want to work and was looking for someone to finance her living so she entered into A Sexless marriage with a guy. She basically just tends to housechores, fixing meals and has a monthly allowance. The husband is more than happy to have his home spick & span, laundry freshly pressed, hearty bento lunches and pipping hot meals at the end of his day. Obviously they sleep separately and heads to their own room every night. Wonder what is the percentage jump of such sexless marriages now in Japan?