I am 20 and moved to Japan in September as a first year full-time international student, but am going through some type of mental issues. These issues have nothing to do with Japan and I love being here way more than Canada, which is my home country. I was so lucky because I live with my girlfriend (who is Japanese) but have basically become a hikikomori. I don’t really study and am barely passing my courses, but there is one that I will definitely fail as I didn’t even study at all and the exam is in 4 days. I never even leave the apartment aside from going to the konbini and grocery stores, and occasionally class so I can maintain barely-passing grades for my attendance. My situation is so screwed, and I really don’t know how to fix it. Honestly my Japanese learning has been pretty good and I am happy with the life in Japan in general, but aside from that it isn’t very sustainable. I have become incredibly rude to my girlfriend, who has just been trying to help me and I hurt her feelings every day to the point of tears because I am too lazy and depressed to clean up after myself, often lashing out on her out of the stress of my own impending doom when she is angry with me for not doing chores. Now she really hates me, which I deserve. She keeps giving me more chances for some reason but then I hurt her again and the cycle continues.
My girlfriend is also in a difficult financial situation, and is currently hating my parents because they got very upset when her mother couldn’t pay her half of the rent last year when we lived and studied together in Canada. My girlfriend lost her father to cancer and her mother lost her job due to the pandemic but my parents still insisted she paid the rent (also berating me for choosing to live with her last year), and my girlfriend quit school and worked horrible jobs in the cold to pay them back. I consider myself so lucky with what I have been able to accomplish this year, coming to study abroad with my girlfriend (among other things) which is my dream. But now, I just sit in my apartment and do nothing, have no friends here, and my parents only send me the bare minimum to survive despite being rich themselves. Now they’re trying to book me a flight home after my exams so I can spend the winter/spring break there even though I don’t really want to go. I want to stay in Japan for the break and turn my life around! I just don’t know what to do and any advice would be really appreciated.