Hosting a Japanese HS student in the US

My husband and I plan to host a Japanese student in August. She will be with us for 10 months. Any tips on what to expect? What do we need to do to make her stay a wonderful experience for her? This will be our first time to host so we are excited and nervous at the same time.

10 comments
  1. It really depends on how well she speaks English and how much she knows about the US culture, but generally try to make her feel like a part of the family as much as possible (helping with the dishes etc.).

    Some cultural differences I can think of from the top of my head:

    Japanese people in general are not comfortable explicitly saying no (and she might not want to be rude especially since you will be her hosts and also her elders), so perhaps have a talk about being honest and saying no when she doesn’t want to do something (you will probably have to reiterate it few times through the beginning of her stay).

    Blowing your nose in public is considered rude in Japan, they sniffle instead. If she does this few times, she probably doesn’t know it’s the opposite way in the US, so try not to get offended, because she is being polite. At the same time, it’s also a cultural exchange, so be honest and tell her about your culture and your culture’s manners.

    While Japanese people are in general quite polite, teenagers are teenagers. Going through the puberty, dealing with all those mixed emotions is a pretty big job. She might not feel like talking to you everyday and that’s OK, you also don’t need to feel pressured to entertain her all the time.

  2. It will be a large investment of time, but Chris Broad (Abroad in Japan on YouTube) has lots of great videos on what not to do in Japan. That may be a good start for you.
    If you have very specific questions, feel free to DM. I’ve spent a lot of time in Japan and my partner is Japanese.

  3. Grab pearl grain rice and a rice cooker. It sounds odd but we all like soul food, and some days she may just want to make a rice ball. Bonus points if you grab some dried Benito flakes and soy sauce to make filling with, or cans of tuna and mayonnaise. Having lived in japan, sometime you just want a goddamn sandwich or hamburger.

  4. I did a homestay in Kansas when I was a student. My host family always said “Make yourself at home!” or “Help yourself!” But I felt uncomfortable doing anything.

    So I recommend to be more specific: “You can feel free to sit on the sofa.” Or “There is tea over here. You don’t need to ask to make it.”

  5. Japanese people typically take baths, so she may want to bathe instead of shower but that’s not really anything you can do differently if you only have a shower. Some also wash their clothes daily so let her know how often you’ll be doing laundry.

    Also it’s polite in Japanese culture to refuse gifts first and then the giver insists they have it and then you can accept it. So if you give her something and she refuses it she may just be trying to be polite, so offer again.
    But of course someone else commented how Japanese people often are uncomfortable saying no, which is also true in other circumstances.

    My host student really enjoyed target and forever 21 and American malls, so y’know, I’d suggest taking her shopping if she enjoys that kind of thing.

    Also America sweet food is typically WAY sweeter than Japanese sweets so just being aware of that if y’all have dessert.

    I’m rambling now, hope this helps!

  6. You should as the japanese American group on FB (you know you’re japanese American when)

  7. You better find out a little about her background and the reasons for the homestay. Japanese parents sometimes consider homestay a solution to problem kids who causing trouble at home. Would suggest video call with student and parents if possible and to confirm there are no disciplinary issues.

  8. Having an impeccably clean bath and bathroom will be a major factor in the student’s mental health.

  9. Include her in the family. Do things with her that you might do with a visiting niece. Feed her. Have snacks around. Hopefully give her unrestricted wifi access.

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