I’m an east-asian non-Japanese foreigner, 23M just trying to have fun on my last year of Uni. I can say 80% of strangers would think I am Japanese. I am 170 cm (average Japanese male height), and I think my face is average. A bit overweight, but I put pre-covid pictures, which I think the period where I look the best.
I have been around 1 year now in Bumble, which lots of people here and even my IRL friend have said, gaijin have much better luck than Tinder or any other apps, but I literally have had 2 matches only. I am honestly flabbergasted and, to a certain extent, soul-crushed. Yeah maybe I’m too vanilla and don’t give that ‘ultra-giga-chad’ f-boy vibes or have a Takeshita street wardrobe but I always try my best to sound intelligent, at least by my own judgement.
I’m not sure, whether it is Bumble algorithm messing with me, or maybe my profile is too crappy, or the fact that I do not have the white privilege, seems like everyone is having a different impression with Bumble. Also I live at greater Tokyo area, so matches are always available.
I guess you can call it a rant, but is this expected to be an eastern asian gaijin?
10 comments
Matching apps suck, go meet people in real life
Puts out of date photos, talks about “white privilege” and sounding intelligent. Lmao
Physical appearance is more important than personality for those kinds of apps – 10% of people get 90% of matches. And you say so yourself: your face is average, you are overweight, short. So, avoid those apps and try to meet girls in real life, where they can get a feel of your personality rather than making a split-second judgment of your appearance based on a few pics.
And you can’t change your height, face or ethnicity, but you can at least hit the gym – There is always a percentage of girls that will want to bang a guy just because he has a great body.
Try “Pairs” instead. Your Japanese will have to be passable, however.
I had a lovely couple dates and met my present partner there.
And here’s an ancient piece of advice from an old man:
Be genuine.
Don’t post anything on your profile that you aren’t willing and able to back up in the flesh.
“‘ultra-giga-chad’ f-boy vibes ” this sort of thinking is why
If you are a bit overweight now, and your pictures are deceiving, you’re gonna have a very short time with anyone you end up meeting.
And no, you don’t need white privilege to be popular on dating apps.
Its all about looks and confidence.
That being said, why are you using apps when you are on university? That’s a huge forest to explore.
>overweight
Not to be a downer, but dating apps are exceedingly looks-focused.
Plus, the typical “3 years and 15 kilos ago” pictures you said you’re using will no doubt make for a super great first impression of massive dissapointment you’ll probably have a hard time to overcome in the rare event that someone would suddenly decide to go on a date with you.
Just be open and real, and if nobody’s interested either work yourself up to snuff or change approach. Online dating is a numbers game, and unless you’re pulling in the numbers you’re just going to have a miserable time and feel like shit in the end. Go to a bar, club, hobby, snack, or whatever else. Fuck, even a deai kissa or the like would be better.
White privilege exists in many places in the world sure, but Japan? Bro wtf are you talking about? There’s no white privilege here. You’re either Japanese or a gaijin. Also I know Asian American guys who get laid all the time.
Based off of the way you talk and describe things, I think I’m starting to understand why you’re not having much luck…
It ain’t algorithms, white privilege, or crappy profile pics. Lol it ain’t any of those. You are just incredibly physically unattractive.
Average is not gonna cut it on dating apps. Do you know how much attention women get there? They get like 100 matches a week why would they settle for an average dude.