Why is it that in Japan when everybody talks around the table and somebody puts a box of biscuits or chocolates out and says どうぞ、食べてください NOBODY takes a single bite and just leaves it there and there’s this weird tension in the air. If you just think ‘alright go on then I’ll have a bite’ and then put your hand out and take one everyone kinda looks at you as if you’re greedy!?
It’s so strange!!!! It has happened at so many gatherings and family events I’ve been to!! Why do we always have to read the air in the most silly situations!
16 comments
Doesn’t happen to me. Maybe I’m just a またバカ外人か
I find it more rant-worthy that after people start taking said cookies, there’ll always be TWO left because no one wants to be the person who caused the situation of there being only one cookie left.
Nobody wants to be the first. Don’t rant about it, help them. Break the ice. Every box of senbeis needs one brave person to take the hit. And you will get your choice every time.
No one wants to take that first cookie even though my cookies are legendary.
I get around this at work or gatherings by offering the cookies to the boss first thing then to individuals directly. Whoever breaks the dam of taking The First Cookie opens the floodgates for everyone to take their cookies.
Dunno about family though. Your family or in-laws? My cookies are always gone in short order.
あっ、じゃー、いいですか？じゃ、ちょっとお先に
I always take the firs and the last one. Fuck the 和, I’m hungry!
Did you say itadakimasu?
Usually if you are the one who offers said cookies you should go around person to person and have each take one. In more formal settings that’s what I’ve seen. Casual settings like a picnic people will usually help themselves though.
It’s complicated
Wait 5 minutes or so, because that shows that your company and conversation is more valued than a snack.
Act as if you just realised they are there, because it’s greedy of you to be fixated on choco.
Then pick them up and offer it to the senior person, because it’s childish of you to have no self restraint.
And honestly I think many people genuinely don’t want one
Gaijin card time – arigato and dive in
New to Japan, eh?
The answer to どうぞ、食べてください is always to ignore those sloths, say 遠慮なくお言葉に甘えて, and take whatever you want.
Doesn’t really happen to me, because i would be the first to take it.
Be proactive.
Seriously though, if you’re going to be so riled up by this you’re not going to have a good time…
The amount of shared food/drink remaining follows an exponential decay model. If possible, break the last biscuit into halves, quarters or eighths
I remember once someone brought 6 pieces of cakes for a staff members birthday. Young new girl bought them and messed up by buying 6 different pieces. They spent 5 minutes hesitating or w/e so I was like fuck it and took the best one. Then they all dived in to not be the one left with the cake with the red jelly crap on top.
Unlucky
Don’t try to think and join in on the idiotic mind games. Live life and take them cookies