I’m a bit confused about a situation I’ve found myself in and would like some outside perspective. I’m going to try and condense the story as much as I can, so please bare with me.
I (29F) moved to Japan about a year ago. On my first day in my new apartment, I had a futon delivered. My postman (late 60s) delivered it, and surprise! He spoke English. Over the next few weeks, he would continue to deliver my housing items and we would chat each time, and then he asked for my LINE. Thinking nothing of it, I gave it to him. He would message me time to time but not too often. A month goes by and he invites me to an izakaya. We had a nice time chatting about his backpacking trip in the 80s and his wife, and he gifted me a nice bottle of sake. Overall it was a nice time.
A few months go by and suddenly it’s summer. He’s an avid kayaker and invites me kayaking.
Like many others in this sub, I struggled finding friends and building a social life when I first got here. I literally spent about 90% of my summer vacation alone. He didn’t give me any weird vibes, so I agreed despite all my stranger danger teachings. And again, it was a great time. Absolutely no complaints or weird vibes. The first slightly weird thing was after, when he stopped by my house unexpected with a framed picture of our trip. I thought it was nice, and just apart of Japans gift giving culture.
Fast forward a lot- I have a friend group now and a boyfriend. My postman and I haven’t seen each other in awhile- although he’s messaged me a lot about his schedule and recent trips. My schedule filled as teachers I work with have asked more of me work wise, and plans with my boyfriend and friend group took up more of my weekends. Although my postman and I tried to make plans, unfortunately our schedules were conflicting. I did see him in passing during this time while I was waiting for a bus and we exchanged quick hellos, but that’s all.
Then this past weekend happened. He and I were able to meet up for dinner. During dinner, he made an odd comment about being surprised to see such a beautiful lady at the bus stop. I felt awkward so I just laughed it off. Then food came up, and I mentioned liking egg sandwiches at the konbini. He said he would make it for me and bring it to my house. Lastly, I asked him about his holidays, and he said Christmas would be enjoyable if he was single. At this point the weird vibes settled in so I called it a night and headed home. I didn’t hear from him until two days later, when he showed up at my door step telling me he made reservations for us a month in advance for this performance I mentioned offhand.
After the odd comments he made at dinner, I’m not so sure this is a platonic thing. After telling my boyfriend (who’s Japanese) about it , he’s also expressed concern which makes me think some of the things my postman has done isn’t the norm. But at the same time he does seem like a lonely old man- am I jumping to conclusions?? Has anyone here experienced anything like this? Any advice would be great!
by Kyuubabe