Anxious that drinking buddies don’t like me

30M. I live in Tokyo, I’m an introvert, and my converstional Japanese is limited, probably N2~N3 based on online sample audio questions. I also have social anxiety, which my close friends tell me causes me to recollect social interactions through a negative lens.

I go out every weekend. I feel like I have a pattern where when I go to a bar, new Japanese people I meet are warm, friendly, and all smiles the first couple of times. But going to the same place over time, the same regulars don’t feel as friendly, and I don’t feel included. So I get anxiety wondering if I committed a faux pas.

My intuition is that people don’t want to have superficial N3 talk with me. I was given advice that the best way to learn Japanese is to go to a bar, make Japanese-speaking friends, and become a regular who shows up. But I’m struggling.

by CSachen

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