I realize what makes Japanese hard

I can refer English standard grammar explanation in website such as British Council, Oxford, etc but that’s not the case in Japanese. I even tried searching in Japanese but it is still messy and not concrete.
When I started learning Jap from N3 onward, I was introduced to more grammar structures that have similar meaning to already learnt structures in N5/N4. So basically they are duplicates.
Another thing, I want to talk about structures that their meaning is unpredictable. Ex: による、におる、ておる、ことになる、ことにする、ものになる、ものにする. I was introduced to those groups of similar meaning structures. I was told “even though they mean the same thing, they are used in different cases and even their naunce differ a bit”. I try breaking down into lexemes (example こと、に、なる) to make sense but it does not.

I don’t why they are like that? Memorization is an option but it takes an immeasurable amount of time. I don’t want that. Is there any website, pdf helpful?

by Embarrassed-City-668

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