My girlfriend(22) and I(24) been dating for almost a year, she’s Japanese and I’m American. We started off doing semi-long distance because she lives in a town two hours away so we’d only see each other once or twice a month but we’d message everyday. Since September of last year, it seems like she’s been busy and getting busier and more distant and just getting short with me more often. I tried really hard to support her as she was finishing college but she often spent her weekends with her friends, clubs, or doing school work which I can understand but I never felt that important to her. I told her that I want to be important to her and so I felt sad and she told me that I am important to her. We’ve had some really good times and I do really care about her. It feels like when we’re together it’s great and we don’t have problems but when we’re apart it’s tougher and I feel we’re emotionally distant.
In February, she took a school trip and left Japan for two weeks. In that time, my dad got sick and I rushed home to see him. My dad passed away in early March and I’ve been really struggling with this grief. I told her I really wanted to see her but she just graduated school and started her new job and instead has been going to Nomikais or making weekend trips to Tokyo and or studying for her job and can’t make time to see or call me. I asked her if there was anything I could do to support her through her transition and she told me “何もしないでいてくれるのが一番ありがとあいかな” which really hurt me.
A lot of my Japanese coworkers haven’t exactly been supportive of me while I’m mourning my dad and she’s the first Japanese girlfriend I’ve ever had so I’m curious; is this kind of behavior normal? Maybe I’m not recognizing how crucial this point in her life is and things will get better in a while but I’ve been struggling a lot with my relationship and my dad passing away has really put me on edge so I’d like to get a second opinion.
by ChromazCSGO