(Repost because for some reason, the Markdown Editor was being weird)
Hello everyone!
As the title says. I have been thinking recently about the possibility of moving to Japan in the mid to long term, more likely on the mid term but I am unsure and I come here to share and dump my brain. Sorry as this is a long post and might deter some people to to not read and I apologize.
Also I am coming here opening completely and I hope I can have some nice talks/chats/arguments with people without being judgemental as I am completely transparent as I would really like to open my thoughts.
So first, some context.
# Who I am
I am a 34 Adult who is an immigrant in Canada. Been here for 7 years (Wow, time really does fly) and I am coming from Mexico. I am a software engineer with almost 10 years of experience. I have been very lucky to build a good resume with known companies on it. While I am very anti capitalism but at least I am happy to have had the luck to have a good resume.
I Speak a bit of Japanese. Enough to get by. As a matter of fact, I went to Japan last year for an entire month alone and didn’t had issues communicating and I can socialize on a superficial level. It is not perfect mind you but I am suuuuper happy how far I have come with it and I enjoy speaking it. I speak basically pretty good English except the RDE sound from haRDEr and muRDEr, that always messes with my tongue lol. But to be honest, I have an easier time pronouncing Japanese than English due Spanish being my mother language.
I have been 3 times to Japan. In the past I used to have a GF who lived there so I had the chance to go there two times to visit her and the third time after we broke up, I decided to go on my own. To be honest? I never thought I would want to move to Japan, but this last trip was such an experience that now the thought is engrained in my head.
So here are the reasons why I would like to move to Japan:
# Reasons to move
# Reason 1
Being in Canada has been pretty lonely.
And yes, you might be “But Japan is known to be very lonely, more so!” but this is why I am here to ask about your own experiences. I will share mine and elaborate:
3 Years ago online I met a Japanese Girl who was in a group where I was learning English and she has both native English and Japanese. For some reason we just became very good friends over the internet. No, this is not a romantic story as she is in Fact married rn so it is not like that, but it is a true friendship, at least for me.
So when I went to Japan, she immediately took 3 days from my schedule to show me around and take me to her favourite places and I had a blast. A few of my best recent memories I owe it to her as damn, he talked for soooo long about random shit, politics, life, funny shit, random stuff. And she knows I am such a big Persona 5 fan that she made the effort to plan a secret trip to Pontocho, she was like “I will take you to a place but will not tell you where” And she took me to a place that was the inspiration of one area. If you have played the game is Called Pontocho, where the library is. I had a blast.
Also, around 6 years ago, I met a Japanese person over here in Canada. It was VERY random, he was living here and I rented a Shared room Airbnb and for random chances he was in the same room. That was his last Day in Canada and we became instant friends. We went to a bar and we’ve been in touch ever since. Now that I went to Japan he immediately ask me to hang around and it was a blast, I had a lot of fun.
At the end of my trip he asked me to hang out once more and he took me to a Yakitori with his own friends. Ask me how many times I have been to a bar with friends here in Canada? I have friends here in Canada but they never invite me to meet their bigger circles for some reason. Someone once said to me “Canadians are nice, but not friendly” and I kind of agree. Like nobody has been an ass to me really, but it does not feel like I am part of here rn. Is a weird feeling.
Before going to the bar, we spent hours at a park drinking a few beers and I took a wonderful picture of our view at Ueno park and it has turn into a core memory for me. Since 2020 I have been single and dealing with depression (My breakup, The pandemic, living alone, yada yada yada) and it is incredible to me to have such a core memory from such a small experience.
Then we went to a bar and met his friends and I had a lot of Fun. They didn’t spoke too much English but with my Japanese and my Friend’s English translating it was a pretty good night. In the end they said “You are such a cool and nice person” which is not to boast, I am just sharing that… I felt very welcomed.
Another experience was when I was in Kyoto at a Yakitori on my own (I call this trip the Yakitori Summer Tour haha) and there was a small bunch of friends together drinking. One of them ask me the typical “You are not Japanese right?” haha, obvious. But after that we started chatting and he slowly included me to his friends and I ended up drinking with them until 2am. At the end of the night, they all took a picture with me, Cooks included!
That same guy who added me to the group, sent me a message on Instagram two days later and invited me to hang out again. We went to the same Yakitori and had a lot of fun. At the end of the night, I am Mexican right? I am soooo used to hugging people but I know Japanese people are not physical. At the end of the night he opens his arms and says “Hagu suru!” and gave me a hug followed by the owner of the place opening his arms and giving me a hug.
Again, I felt very welcomed.
Lastly, to not over extend, I had another experience at an English/Japanese exchange group where I spent the whole day talking to a girl and she was part of the Engineering industry. And while talking she was like “Have you thought about moving here?”
I answered that It sounds tempting and she was like “Omg, do it! There are sooooo many opportunities for people like you in here! Cmon!”. Then I encountered an American guy on the same event and while chatting he said exactly the same thing: “Oh dude, with your resume it would be soooo easy for you to get a job here. I moved here 5 years ago (He was around 40 something with a daughter) and has been the best decision of my life”
And like that, I had many other small stories. Even my Japanese Sensei was blown away by my adventures haha. So this is where I come from with the “In Canada it feels lonely”. Over there it felt… more at home than here. It was super odd but I was super happy for the experience.
I do have some friends here that I love and have fun with, but in Mexico when I come back home it always feels like I am a politician haha. Some people get mad at me for not booking them some time as people know me as a chatty and friendly person. While in here dunno, I have VERY good friends in here, but it doesn’t compare. Perhaps is because I am an adult now.
# Reason 2
I think if I move there I would be more healthy.
I am overweight. And being a software engineer sitting is my usual thing. I am not lazy by any means but I don’t like exercising just because. I can walk and walk for a long time. On my last trip to Japan I walked 150 km according to google and lost 2 kg! By just existing there! I was not even dieting.
I looooove walkable cities and it was a breath of fresh air to need something and having a place to buy said thing at 5 minutes away at most on foot. The worst booking I had was 8 minutes away from the subway. That was the worst one! The rest were like in front or 5 minutes away. I really enjoy walking.
I tried cycling here in Canada but due North American zoning laws everything is too far away. Is impossible to do groceries on bike so I depend on my car which… I like driving but I wish it wasn’t mandatory.
# Reason 3
Ok is this is a more shallow and superficial one and I am kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I am trying to be very open.
I have found out while on my trip, that I am more attracted to Japanese women than Canadian women.
I have been 4 years single after 7 years of relationship. I am a person who does not get attracted very easily, I have my taste and to be honest? I haven’t felt reaaaally attracted while in Canada. Perhaps is a cultural thing, but when I was in Japan I noticed that I thought waaaay more often “Wo, she’s kinda cute”. And I never had a “Japanese” kink in my life, this happened once I was over there. So now I am conflicted as to be honest, I haven’t felt the need to hit on anybody here as I rarely encounter a girl that I like.
This is a very shallow reason I know I know, but after talking about it with a Friend she said “Cmon, that’s not something to be embarrassed about! You have your taste and for some reason, In Japan there are more of that style than in Canada” Which is true, I usually like girls with short hair and I think even Mexico has more girls like that than here in Canada. Of course haha, is not like OH SHORT HAIR I LOVE YOU haha, is just an example. And in Japan it sometimes feel like short hair is the “create a character” default haha.
# Reason 4
I just love the culture
I am a person who despises people being assholes. I myself always try to be the nicest and polite person I can and I always try to make everyone feel welcome. Of course, sometimes I suck I do have my buttons lol, but I always try my best. In Japan it felt like I was on the same page.
Oh did I bump into somebody? “Ahh gomen gomen!” here? “Hey! Watch it!” (This is an exaggeration, not everybody is like that of course). I even had an issue with my neighbour do a misunderstanding where his package got delivered to my place while I was expecting one and I opened it without realizing it. Tried to contact him, knocking on his door and he didn’t open. I left a note explaining what had happened and I even said which apartment I was from in case he wanted to talk about it.
He just left me a note saying that if I “Steal” his package again, he will call the police… So yeah, that’s what I get for trying to fix an issue I guess.
# Reasons NOT to move
Everything has a pro and a con.
# Reason 1
I already have a life here.
I have been living in Canada for 7 years. That is not a short amount of time. I do have friends in here that I appreciate a lot. It hasn’t been boring exactly but I have never felt a 100% assimilated. Which sounds like a common issue in Japan, but I am not afraid of being looked at or saying “You’re not Japanese”. I am speaking on the friendship side mostly. I rarely feel that trust and connection like my friends back home and my Japanese experiences.
But still, I do have a life here. Is it worth leaving a “good” life for a potential one?
# Reason 2
Starting over… again
I already immigrated once and is not easy. I think about it and I am like daaamn that sounds exhaustive haha but to be fair, I have already done it once. Why I wouldn’t be able to do it again? But it does sound tiresome… and Risky.
# Reason 3
I am definitely getting old.
Yeah I am still young, but not 20s young. I have the feeling that at some point I have to pick a spot and stay there, but also I am like “Well, the economy is shit for your generation, what if you just stopped thinking about “Setting Down” and enjoy your life?”. I have a place that I can go when I am old in Mexico. I can stay at my parent’s house which will be on my name. But there is a reason why I left Mexico, is not the bestest of countries haha.
# Reason 4
Culture and Politics.
I am a left leaning person. I am pro LGBTQ+, I support women’s rights and Gender equality. At the same time I might be a bit blunt from time to time on saying what I think which sounds like in japan is a no no. “The nail that stands out is the one that gets hammered”.
But I also think that problems there will be ANYWHERE I go. I just wonder how problematic that would be for my case.
# Reason 5
The Work Culture.
I have been working since I was 8 years old. I was very poor in Mexico and fortunately I never went a day without missing a meal, but I worked because there was so many things I wanted. I spent most of my life believing the lie that if you work hard you will make it and well, here I am.
I am doing great economically, but you have no idea the amount of BS I have had to deal with. I have been laid off 2 times now not due my fault, but because “The economy”. One of those two, I had an offer to jump to a super big company and my then job raised my salary and asked me to please stay, as I was a super important member of the team. There were days I sometimes worked for 12 hours but “I had fun”. Then I got Laid off.
That’s the moment I stopped caring about work. I just work to earn money and that’s it. My career is not my focus anymore and I am looking for what I want.
In Japan everything seem very work oriented. You’re expected to not take vacations. I am like “ohh vacations? Let’s Go!” and the more free time I have the better. But I wonder if this is a Sacrifice worth making.
So there you go. Sorry for the long post. I hope you guys had fun reading my reasons and perhaps you got a thing or two to say! Will keep the outro short to avoid making this even longer. Thank you so much for reading! またね！
by porky_bot