Was there a point at which you realized you could have deeper, more meaningful conversations? What was/is that like and how did you get there?

I recently posted about my dissatisfaction with speaking to natives in Japan. To summarize, this was more a “me not finding fulfillment thing” rather than anything about the other people. Most of the people I spoke to were perfectly wonderful.

The thing is, several of you pointed out that my lack of fulfillment could be due to only having surface level conversations at restaurants, shops, and other momentary interactions with strangers. Unfortunately, due to both time and my skill level, I wasn’t really able to ask people about how they felt about life, what their hopes and dreams are etc. The closest I got was when a woman asked my opinion on the croissant she made. She wanted to know what I thought about it in relation to croissants from back home.

For those of you who are fluent enough to have these deeper conversations, when did you realize you had that capability and how did you achieve it? Did you find that the ability to have these deeper conversations made you feel more fulfilled and connected or did you just not bother? I’d really like to learn more from those that are “ahead” of me, so to speak, in this journey.

Thank you in advance.

by investoroma

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