For example, if you’re at a bus stop or just waiting somewhere with somebody, is it really that strange to just have small talk? I get told loads of things about how in the Japanese culture it’s strange to do such a thing but sometimes I want to express my britishness and make small talk with people when I’m out and about
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You know how British people tend to complain about Americans always talking too loudly while sitting in a British café? If you talk to Japanese strangers at a bus stop you become that guy. You might get away with an atsui desu ne in the summer. But other than that find a different outlet for expressing your Britishness.
Small talk is annoying
You know when people on this subreddit complain about Japanese people using them as English practice. These people are complaining that you use them for Japanese.
Elderly Japanese ladies don’t shut up. I think they’re lonely. Young people seem too busy to care much for banter.
Yes it’s very strange. Also, if they do respond, don’t mistake that as an invitation to keep talking. Most of the time they just want to be left alone but are too damn polite to ignore you. Things like “oh really?” is just a perfunctory response in most cases.
Small talk is annoying and a waste of time
Young people don’t do much small talk but obaachans love it. That’s why I love obaachans haha, they’re super friendly and they have a sense of humor.
I’ll greet an elderly person at a bus stop if it’s just the 2 of us. Only problem is this usually gives them an open invitation to chat chat chat.
Ugh, people talking to you at the bus stop or on the bus is the WORST because you can’t escape them!! I used to absolutely hate that
Anyway I would say yes, it’s weird. Even in Osaka really the only people who do it are the elderly (who are perhaps lonely so they kind of get a pass), or people who are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
I mean you can try but just be aware that you’re likely making people uncomfortable and kakeruing a lot of meiwaku on them. I wouldn’t talk to young women because they’d probably get upset. Middle aged or old people would be safest if you do insist on imposing your existence on strangers 🙂
It’s rude not to greet passers by but small talk between strangers is also not really a thing…
It’s actually not so weird to say good morning or hello especially to older people but don’t really take it further than that
I have kids and live in a smaller town. I get engaged in conversation sometimes. I lived in Kyushu before and it was also ok to talk to strangers. In Tokyo I felt like nobody wants to waste time, everyone is moving with a purpose. I think only once a homeless guy talked to me. In perfect English nevertheless.
I found that chatting is best in small izakaya that only have a counter. During slow hours, usually the owner/chef is very keen on passing time by talking to me.
Some elderly people greet me at the bus stop or try to make a small talk. I don’t mind especially they are spending most of their time alone in their home/apartment.
In the countryside strangers say hello to you. I’m used to life in Tokyo, so the first few times freaked me out a little.
If you just want to say hi, and not much else, try hiking. That’s what I like about hiking in Japan. You get to finally say konnichiwa to strangers, just like you’re friendly people or something.
Small talk at the bus stop or somewhere is a little awkward and not very Japanese, but it can happen, especially if you’re a visible minority. People might want to talk to you.
Mate, one of the best things about Japan is that people leave you alone. Don’t ruin that ^-^
My family and I often greet our neighbors “ohayou” , “konnichiwa” and “konbanwa”. My father told me to get used to greet my neighbors.
If you’re in a city, I think it will always come across as really weird. If you’re in the countryside, it will probably be fine.
Outside of Tokyo its fine
I think this is a big city vs rural areas mentality, even in Japan.
The moment I leave Tokyo, people are more chatty. Notably places like Ryokans and Hiking trails, people will greet you and striking up a conversation is not out of the question – as long as you can read the air and tell if they want to engage or not.
No, no small talk with stranger out of the blue like that, if you were part of a group or doing some sort of common activity (and i emphasize activity just not taking transport or sitting), you could play the extrovert and try to strike a conversation
But why the hell would you disturb people on public transport, they’re doing their own things and so should you, no reason to bother them, not to mention that public transports in japan is no place to talk normally.
Yes it’s uncommon and depends on how intruding it might make people uncomfortable. I even was told saying konnichiwa to cashier is kind of strange. But I still do that sometimes because in this case there isn’t harm afaik. But I never want to talk at the bus stop. I often avoid eye contact with people I suspect to be chatty.
OP, fully agree.
Many Japanese want out from their shell. But the “culture” holds people back even from what they actually personally want in many cases. It’s why those who can afford it like taking holidays in a friendly easy going culture….like Hawaii for example. The “head down don’t speak” BS is a leftover from feudalism where “your lowly self” daring to speak out of turn might be reason for having caused “offence” against your local sword wielding overlord. Drop that shit IMO.
The world more than ever needs people to start engaging with each other. Break down the walls!! 😉
You need to pick your moments. I’ve had small talk with people at bus stops if there’s a reason. Like someone checking the schedule and I tell them it’s the right bus or it’s coming soon. But apropos of nothing, small talk here can be disconcerting.
That said, it also depends where you are. I lived in Tokyo for many years and there was little small talk. I visited Kansai twice, and strangers actively spoke to me daily. Then, I left Tokyo and moved to Yamanashi and then Shizuoka. People regularly greet me when I’m out for walks and I’ve had more than a few conversations.
Be you, fuck it. The worst that could happen is that they get annoyed. Don’t let some spectrum-chan on here pull you down. I get people looking my way so I say hi, what’s wrong with that?
Yes, it is.
>I want to express my britishness
No, stop trying to colonize the bus stop with your incessant chatter.
Kyuushu people are very chatty. Must be a regional thing.
Are you Northern? 🙃
Speaking to people at the bus stop in London would make people feel awkward, but obviously very different in other parts of the UK. I can’t really speak for Japanese inaka but I’m sure there’s a different to Tokyo. People usually say hi on hiking trails from my experience
Is this really a British thing, or is it a you thing? Are you from a city, or a small town? Because in every city I’ve lived in, people absolutely hate when strangers come up and start randomly talking to them, especially when there’s no outlet for escape (and a bus stop, or on the bus gives them no ability to escape). If they engage you, they may be stuck talking with you, even if you are boring, or worse, crazy.
I was at a farmers market the other day and saw a crazy American, going on and on with a couple stall owners about conspiracy theories. They looked incredibly uncomfortable and you could tell they wanted him to stop. This is the kind of thing people don’t want to happen to them, and odds are, if they engage a stranger it’s likely, because the kind of people who start randomly talking to strangers are usually people who have no one else to talk to.
If you want to make friends, go to meetups. People go to those to talk with other people. Go to community events. Go to group activities. Stop trying to make friends with randos on the street. It’s weird.
Leave your desire for small talk at home. But honestly westerners should stop small talk too cos as a Canadian I really struggle talking to strangers and hate small talk 😭
It’s harmless right. Be yourself.
For better or worth, it’s unusual. I like “hi” culture in the states, though.
I don’t talk to anyone except my neighbours because my husband said it’s polite to greet them. I have a few lovely neighbours who always talk to me a lot but a few just give me evil glares and ignore me. But I keep saying hi anyway to be polite. Apart from that I’ll nod at the random old people who say hello in English. I don’t really go out of my way to talk to anyone else.
with the people living in your building not really