Not sure anyone was still waiting for a third update on this but I promised some people in the comments, so here we go!
Two months ago I asked the question on this subreddit if my then friend from Japan (who I named Yosuke) would be into me considering the signals and what I could do to tell him I liked him. He eventually confessed to me right before we both went home for Christmas, as we were both on a study abroad in Riga. I didn’t know what tp say and I I eventually told him I really liked him and would like to go on a date when I came back to Riga to write my signout letters.
We went on that date and it was lovely, dinner at the TV tower overlooking the city. The day after I wanted to ask him if he wanted to be my boyfriend because it wasn’t really clear to me (lateron I learned that “will you go out with me” in Japan can often be meant as let’s be partners). I however chickened out and left him a love letter to read when I went back home, partually in lacking japanese and partually english. He told me that he would like to answer it in person, so he would visit my hometown in a month.
That month was absolute agony with waiting and being nervous. Friends convinced me he wouldn’t come all this way to break up with me, but you never know right?? I fell for this guy hard. So I really wanted it to work out. In the mean while we kept chatting, making jokes and fun of each other
The day arrived that he came to my hometown and we spend the day at my favourite amusement part (arguably looking back, one of the rides was quite racist, which wasn’t the best as a first impression. Look up “Carnaval Festival Japan” if you’re in for a laugh). When we got home we had a very nice talk about how life has been and what school was like. He then came in with the bomb, “i never replied to your letter, but I was simply to shy. I like you and want to be your boyfriend”. I then and there melted from happiness.
The weekend at my parents was an absolute blast, he got along with my parents, I learned a bit more japanese and we made plans to see each other again in two weeks! I’m so ecstatic!
He seems to be a bit insecure about holding hands or hugs which might be a japanese culture aspect. Anyone have any tips on how I can make him feel lore comfortable and what is and isn’t acceptable? From a cultural standpoint that is 🙂
Anyway, thank you lot so much for helping a poor girl out.本当にありがとうごさいます、皆さん！
1 comment
[Told ya](https://www.reddit.com/r/japanese/comments/rk0c1a/comment/hp81bfr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)…!
>It will be blindingly obvious in retrospect to you too.
Soooo, is it?
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>He seems to be a bit insecure about holding hands or hugs which might be a japanese culture aspect. Anyone have any tips on how I can make him feel lore comfortable and what is and isn’t acceptable? From a cultural standpoint that is 🙂
First you have to remember that culture is very deeply ingrained. Neither of you are necessarily right for preferring or avoiding displays of affection, you are simply the product of different cultures. The word ‘insecure’ makes it sound like a personal flaw which needs to be overcome and it’s not.
This may be something which never changes about him that you just have to learn to accept. Equally, it may be that he comes to embrace and enjoy that aspect of your culture, but you nothing you can do will make him. Allow him the freedom to be himself, without judgement, and see what happens.