I’ve been in my company for almost 2 years, everyone apart from me is Japanese.
People in the office are generally nice, but…there are a few “buts” that keep bugging me, and I wonder whether anyone else here experiences the same thing, and I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with them.
1. I feel this constant “pressure” (if that’s the right word) that I need to stay on very good terms with my boss and basically watch my actions and words not to accidentally/unintentionally be rude or get into a “gokai situation”.
This one is the biggest one probably.
This feeling persists because of two things:
There were two more foreigners at my place, but both of them left – one changed companies, but the other one left due to a conflict with my boss. And it was not a head-on conflict, but rather I kept hearing my boss and other people complaining about the guy and what he was doing behind his back, but never EVER have they said that stuff to his face, until it got to a point where they “hinted” that they were not happy with him. And then he naturally left because kimazui and it felt like once an indirect argument happened there is no going back.
And this stuff with talking behind one’s back happens constantly in the office. The same thing happened to my jp douki, he also eventually left, and I feel like the situation could have been easily resolved if people just…said what they needed from him in a more straight manner. Or not behind his back, at least.
I also had multiple times with bosses at other places I worked part time, coworkers there, even some of my friends where things are great, and then one day they just suddenly become cold and cut off the relationship with you or suddenly treat you like sh.
All of this gives this sort of paranoia to me. I sometimes get a feeling that people might not be satisfied about something but they never say it to me. In the same manner, I sometimes get paranoid that I might be doing something wrong or upsetting without even realising it.
And sometimes this really gets into my head. Asking directly, obviously, doesn’t give any results because people are extremely indirect, so it’s hard to read between the lines at times.
2. it’s still hard to build convos with coworkers. It’s usually very awkward. At first I tried to just not care and communicate, but the dialogues just don’t really go anywhere with most people. So I eventually just gave up.
I’d think it’s my personal problem, but this kinda thing doesn’t happen with my foreign clients or certain jp people who are a bit more outgoing.
Do you just accept the awkward environment as a fact? Cause it’s been 2 years and there is not even progress, but more like regression going on in my communication skills. I got a lot more reserved since working here.
All of that said, I do like my job and my work, people always help if I have questions and no one bothers me with unnecessary stuff, I can sometimes go days without talking to anyone at all apart from aisatsu and people respect me and my time/workload.
Do you experience similar stuff? If so, how do you deal with it?
Edit: format
by zhuzhu09