I apologize if there’s been posts like this before, but I’ve been having a very hard time recently and am unable to talk about it to anyone. I’d like to hear if anyone’s had a similar experience, how did they overcome it and what things turned out like.
I’ve been living in Japan for 6 months as an exchange student, scheduled to graduate this September. I decided to look for a full-time job in Japan, since I heard my chances are the highest before I graduate.
I love my life in Japan. Despite all the hardships, I’m grateful for the little things every day, being here simply makes me happy even if I’m busy 12h a day (school + internship). On the other hand, my home country is absolutely unlivable (I’m talking an actual poor country). I know I’d have a very hard time finding work, and even putting the financial stuff aside, it’s very boring and full of rude people. It made me miserable since I was a child.
However, now that staying in Japan long-term started feeling like a real possibility, I got very scared. The main reason is my family. I’m very attached to my family and especially my dogs. My parents aren’t old, but I can see that they took me leaving hard as well. We have a huge time difference and no direct flights, and financially it’s impossible for them to come visit me (depending on my salary in Japan, I’m scared I wouldn’t be able to go home either). I know this shouldn’t be a deciding factor at my big age, but I can’t stop feeling guilty for choosing my happiness over them, as they’ve always put me first.
From what I gathered on this sub, lots of people have partners and started their own families. However, I’m extremely unattractive and won’t be dating/marrying, not in Japan nor anywhere else. I’d like to also hear from people who are long-term single in Japan – have you managed to build friendships strong enough to replace family and partners, or is the loneliness really too much?
Deep down inside I know I’ll regret it if I leave Japan. I’ll miss it just as much as I’m missing my family now. Is it just the fear of the unknown making me romanticize a place that has nothing for me? Do these feelings pass? Was Japan worth it for you?
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading. Have a good Golden Week!
by momotarooshi