Guys, I would really appreciate your input. I’m having issues with fearing that I’ll lose my European identity while living in Japan.
I grew up bilingual in Germany, speaking Russian and German. I come from a mixed family and used both languages.
I moved to Germany in my childhood, but also got the opportunity to spend time in both counties. My whole educational process from elementary school was in Germany. Initially, my wish was simply to identify as German throughout my entire educational journey. However, after moving to Japan, I’ve been able to embrace and appreciate both aspects of my identity. It has been a very enriching experience for me to live here.
However, after around six years of living and working in Japan, I’ve started to experience fears that I may lose my German identity if I continue living here. I’ve put a lot effort in assimilating in Germany, so now it feels like I may lose that part of myself. I often think about moving back to Germany someday. But, at the same time, I absolutely love my life in Japan—the weather, the people, the culture, and my work here. I have a much better work position now here working in science and education and don’t know how hard it would be to find similar position back there.
I’m married to a wonderful Japanese woman, and I also love her family. She btw. speaks very good German so we practically could move any time.
However, I just can’t imagine completely forgetting about Germany. I literally feel pain in my chest when I think about never going back there. Yet, when I visit my hometown, after a short period of time, I already start to miss Japan. Am I completely crazy? How can I solve this? Initially, I thought about trying to live in two countries and moving back and forth, but it’s difficult to establish. Perhaps the way forward would be to develop a new identity connected to Japan, but the emotional attachment to Germany makes this a long process.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you manage it? What would be a good way to handle this?
by Aurorapilot5