Went out with someone before and i think we both had a great time.. After waking up the next day, I couldn’t recognize her 🥺
I thought I was a heart throb to be able to go out with 2 women in 1 day 😂
My people, drink moderately.
The Good: girl stands you up, you go back home, stop by the combini to buy instant noodles and strong zero. You cry yourself to sleep in your loneliness.
The Bad: Girl shows up, she looks nothing like the photos because they were all filtered, orders most expensive things on the menu, doesn’t even make a courtesy reach for her purse when the bill comes, goes home directly after dinner because she’s tired, blocks you. You cry yourself to sleep in your loneliness.
The Ugly: Same as The Bad, but instead of ghosting you, turns out to be crazy, starts stalking you, impersonates her family members to contact you, threatens you with legal actions, as if that will make you change your mind. You cry yourself to sleep in your loneliness.
I don’t have that many dating stories here thank god. Nothing crazy like some of the stuff here. But I once went on a date with a dude that just tried to neg on me the entire time. For example, he asked me if ever experienced street harassment as a woman. When I said that I had here, he said yeah, men only approach women here they think aren’t that attractive since they might have a chance. More awkward backhanded comments like this and then he had the audacity to ask if I wanted to go back to his place after lol.
Being ghosted after several good dates is probably the worst one I guess. Had 3 dates, for the fourth date she invited me back to her home, but she changed her mind next day and ghosted me. Well that was a total 180. Ghosting is just so common you get used to it.
Weirdest was the girl who on the day of our date asked if she could bring her friend. Well, I guess can’t say no I guess ? So at that point, to me this is no longer a date. Her friend was really nice and friendly and I I probably spent more time talking with her friend cause she was so quiet and couldn’t hold a conversation. Blocked right after the date. She could have just cancelled on the day if she wasn’t interested in meeting.
Being randomly ghosted/blocked is annoying. Especially after a date in which everything seemed to be fine. I guess that’s just the dating scene in 2022.
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Girl peed in her sleep next to me at an Internet cafe. Another threatened to send Yakuza after me for breaking up with her.
Started chatting with a guy, we had a lot of the same interests and hobbies. Visited parks, ate at some cafes, standard getting to you know you first dates. But then he started getting weird and asked me to come to his apartment and clean it, and actually sent me photos of it. Complete pig sty, clothes everywhere, trash just laying around, piles of dirty dishes in the sink. Very disgusting.
So I ghosted on him. Because I can understand having a little bit of a mess, but honestly showing off that you can’t even pick up your own garbage or wash a dish? When you’re an adult!? Fuck that.
Dude ended up stalking me for several years. Mostly online because I moved to a different prefecture, but he would get friended by friends on FB and use that connection to stalk me and everything. A little frightening, he kept contacting me asking to give him another chance, and that he knew we were meant for each other, he had shown photos of me to his mother and she agreed, etc.
Locked down my FB, blocked his e-mails, and they finally dwindled down to nothing a few years back. I think maybe the fact that I’m married now finally made him realize that I wanted nothing to do with him.
Not in Japan, but in Chicago: Otaku Chinese-American girl from tinder sees I live in Japan and meets me in a full maid costume without any previous warning. I was there for work and was freaking out someone from work would see me with her.
Other than that, no horror stories, but a few weird situations:
While I was on my way to meet this girl she sends me a picture in her bra saying she is almost ready. I reply she is looking great and she just says “I’m not fat!!!” and blocks me. No idea what happened, but I guess she was using google translator and something came out wrong.
Another time I met a Korean girl from Tinder and ended up at my place. Next morning while I was making breakfast she tries to sneak out and tells me “I don’t do breakfasts, too romantic”. The cherry on the cake was she forgot her phone in my apartment and had to come back to get it.
There was one girl that a friend introduced me as she was looking for a boyfriend. She was really busy finishing her PhD at the time and said she was only free on a specific day. When we meet I ask why she’s only free on that day and she goes “oh, I took a day off because it’s my birthday today!”. I told her I had to use the washroom and called the restaurant we were about to go to and asked them to prepare a cake plate with her name. She was so happy she cried. I felt kind of sad for her.
Most recent one. Met this artist for a brunch date. Date was fun, we were a bit far from the city, so we jump into a love hotel nearby. When I get a beer from the refrigerator she asks if I will drink and drive and proceeds to tell me she can’t spend the night because her husband and kid are waiting for her.
Probably a few girls have horror stories about me though.
Getting stood up isn’t exactly a horror story.
Dated a girl who started dating another guy at the same time, found out after the second date at least. Homeboy hit me up on Instagram still talk to this day.
I went out with another foreign girl once and all she did for the entire date was complain about how much she hated Japan and Japanese people.
She’d been here for a few years and I had only been here like 6 months at that point and she asked me to do all of the ordering and stuff even though my Japanese wasn’t the slightlest of an ounce good because she didn’t want to have to talk to the Japanese staff.
I deleted the app after meeting someone else but then when I started to use it again, she matched me again and I was just like “Nope.”
Alright let me get my alt and actually share a story.
Should we talk about the time:
① I got a bloody lip/nose from a girl repeatedly punching me in the face?
② I got a call from city office saying a girl was looking for me?
③ I had dinner with a girl’s mom, sister, and husband with them asking how I’m going to financially support her after her divorce?
④ I walked in to my friend’s apartment and saw the girl I’d been dating butt naked on the couch? (We’d had about 2-3 dates so far)
⑤ A girl stole 2万円 from my wallet and left in the middle of the night?
⑥ A man agreed to pay for the hotel room I slept with his wife in as long as she took the baby with her?
⑦ A girl called me 121 times and when I wouldn’t answer she came to my house, broke the glass on my balcony door, and climbed in?
⑧ I matched with a girl on tinder and she called me over to have sex *just so she can get back at her neighbor who always has loud sex* and then proceeded to say “oh I only needed you for that. We can be friends now”?
⑨ A girl admitted to thinking of ways of killing me in my sleep because she didn’t want me to be with anyone else? (We never even argued!)
⑩ A coworker got drunk and when I drove her home from the 飲み会, threw most the items I had in my car out of the window while I was driving including my glasses, her glasses, and her shoes. And then after repeatedly stopping and retrieving said items, we finally make it to her apartment to where she lifts up her skirt, puts her hands on the hood of my car and just says “come on” in English?
11) A girl game to Tokyo from Kyoto, immediately had sex, and then immediately got back on the train and went home because her father called and asked “why is it taking so long?” I don’t know what “it” was but wtf?
There’s more but I’ll end here. Things have really calmed down in the past 3-4 years.
Agreed to meet a girl for drinks, she immediately started pounding shots and threw up on me within 15 minutes of the beginning of the date.
Messaged a few days later to see that she was really sorry and had been going through some things that day. It’s hard to describe telling the story like this, but it was sort of a genuine heartfelt message. I decided to give her a second chance, and we agreed to go see a film.
She showed up, unexaggeratedly, falling-down drunk. And…you guessed it… a bit into the movie quite suddenly threw up on me again. Also hit several people who were sitting around us.
Met a girl from Tinder in Osaka. Was very different from her profile picture. (Not in a very good way) Refused to speak in Japanese with me even though my Japanese was clearly better than her English by a lot. If I spoke in Japanese she would ignore me. I met her around 3pm and had planned to go window shopping and sightseeing a bit before we went for an early dinner. After walking for like 5 minutes she saw a hub and said let’s go in, she wanted to drink. Got in, sat down, told me what she wanted to order and then looked at me with a face like “go on then, order up and pay.” I bought her and me a drink and excused myself to the bathroom. On the way back to my seat feigned a phone call from a friend, sounded worried and then made up some excuse about how my friend had been hit by a car, dislocated his knee, and needed me to bring some stuff from his place to the hospital for him, because he was going to be there a while. (I explained all of this in Japanese to make sure she understood.) She said something about how it was weird for me to speak Japanese the way I do with the way I look. Ok great, tnx bb im out. I left, met my friend and we went clubbing in Kobe later that evening. Both managed to pull too.
I’ve gotten stood up once without notice and it hurt a lot. Other than that, I’ve gotten a lot of excuses literally hours before our set meeting. For example: “Sorry, I have a stomach ache” (twice in one week then never heard from her again), “Sorry my friend got arrested”, “Sorry I moved to Germany,” countless “Sorry suddenly there’s work now.” It’s fine if they decided they don’t want to meet me, but it was really frustrating that they almost all made the plans themselves and then backed out. I wish they’d just be honest.
Dating a great girl now though and so happy that shit is behind me.
Just a few months after arriving in Japan, I was meeting up with a girl at a train station for our second date. I arrived 30 minutes early and was excited. At the time we were supposed to meet, she started texting me, asking where I was. I said I was there, and she said she was there and I was not.
Ended up that I was at the wrong station! The trains were packed and I was having trouble getting to the other station. They were on different lines, so I had to walk to the other line. By the time I got to the restaurant, she was leaving upset. I stood her up, on accident!
The worst part is that it was my birthday, so she had bought a cake and decorated it with my name and all the happy birthday stuff. I never even saw it, since she gave it to her friends before leaving (they ran the restaurant)
Even so, though that night was a horrible situation, we still got married and I couldn’t be happier. Just over 5 years married, now, with two kids. So, everything worked for the best!
How do people here even meet people let alone date 😟
Oh boy, have I got a story for this thread. I had gone through a dry spell and wanted to know that I still had *it* so opened up bumble matched with a German guy who is in town for business. We swap some messages and have a little bit of fun and organise to meet the following day. I meet him, his pictures were accurate, not unattractive, we walk around a bit and talk, of course I am a bit curious about Germany so he indulges my curiosity. We get back to his room with the intention of getting down to it. He doesn’t have condoms, no worries, we don’t have to go that far. This is where it starts getting really weird. The impression I had was that he was quite single, turns out he had a wife he had married and been with for I think it was 6 years already? So he starts with, sooo, im married. Im like ok, hes like but it’s an open relationship so no problem. I’m like cool! He’s like yeah my wife said I can play around with other people if I want. Im like ok, no worries. We get a little further in and he’s like “oh i feel so guilty, my wife is gonna kill me”. Cue me staring at him and suddenly his wife is calling to check up on him. So we’re in the middle of something and she’s calling and he ignores the first call, but the second time he starts getting edgy. The third time hes trying to figure out what to do and gets panicky and is like my wife is gonna ask my coworker to come and check on me if I don’t pick up (they came on the business trip as a group). Quick! You need to leave. He THEN offers to pay me 30,000yen to leave, and I lost my absolute mind and stormed out. Its 3am by this stage so of course no trains back from Tokyo to Tochigi at that time, I sit in the hotel lobby for about an hour and a half, google the closest station and walk there in the dark, by myself. I arrive back in Tochigi around 6ish, sleep for half an hour, get up, go to work. While I am sitting in the lobby waiting to go to a train station he messages me, oh it was fine you can come back up if you want. I ignored the message.
All in all it was quite a surreal experience, it went from enthusiastic enjoyment to total panic within about 5 minutes. I had checked numerous times too if he was ok with me leaving in the morning – prior to meeting, and he had said he was. I didn’t end up getting anything out of it, other than immense frustration on all levels. ~fin~
She bit my dick
Wait, You guys get matches?
Had a friend I met online before I ever came to Japan. He was just my type, we got along great and had similar interests, including some niche things.
Went on some dates when I finally came to Japan and I thought it was going really well. He even brought me to some cool places that showed he really paid attention to what I was interested in. But out of nowhere, he stopped replying to me for MONTHS.
I was devastated. This was a guy I had been friends with for a couple years online beforehand. It felt really bad and I didn’t understand why when things were going so well.
WELL. He messaged me again suddenly several months later and apologized. He explained that he was married. I’m guessing his wife was getting suspicious. I don’t really remember all the details of what his bullshit excuse actually was. I just remember being really pissed. lol. I think he told me about her as if it was no big deal, like he had mentioned her before but he definitely hadn’t and he said that things between them were getting really bad. So this guy had a wife the entire time but swears he only married her out of pressure from his family to get married, didn’t like her at all and wanted to divorce her. But had kept this a secret from me for years. And yes, in case you were wondering, we had fucked too.
I was livid and I’m not into guys who cheat. My number one rule is that if a guy will cheat on his current partner for you, he’ll cheat on you too. You’re not special. Plus he hid it for so long, lied and strung me along then just disappeared and then reappeared and man, it was a mess. Also, I’m just not into being a home wrecker.
I blocked him and have never spoken to him since.
I thought I had some stories, but some of you guys take the cake. I’ll share a few anyway.
Had been dating this woman for a few months, one night we have a big huge fight. She attempts to storm out of my place, but it’s like 2 AM and the middle of winter. She threatens to call a taxi and bill my workplace for it (no idea how that would work…), so I tell her to at least chill out here for 3 hours and then she can take the train. I block off the door…and so she tries to jump out of the window. I live on the second floor, but still. We talked about this later, and she non-nonchalantly said “Oh, I do bouldering, so a fall from that height would have been a broken ankle at worst” and I’m like oh, you were *serious* about actually jumping out the window! Back to that night I get her to agree to stay here, we both go to bed pissed…and then she reaches over and starts stroking me. I’m like wtf, and she’s like – I’m pissed at you, but I still want to get laid.
Different woman, right at the start of our relationship she got a new job and then said she wasn’t feeling well, so while we texted regularly I refrained from asking her out, figuring she’d be busy and sick. That weekend I catch a bad case of the flu which flares up my asthma. Bottom line, I was sick as a dog and could barely talk. So she calls me over the weekend, and I try to explain that I’m super sick, I’m willing to listen, but I literally cannot talk. She takes over an hour to amble to her point, which was that she was upset I didn’t try to invite her out, despite me telling her why I didn’t. And then she kept asking me for verbal confirmations that I was understanding her repeated points, and inbetween hacking my lungs out I had to remind her that I couldn’t really talk. A few days later she texted to apologize, and I accepted, but I was annoyed at the situation so I let a few days pass to cool down before I started texting her again regularly. When I did her reception was extremely chilly, and when we did eventually meet up she said she was upset that I hadn’t responded to her immediately after she apologized.
One woman lived a 20-minute bike ride away, but constantly complained that we couldn’t ever meet because I wasn’t available at the specific times she wanted to meet, and couldn’t be arsed to make the bike ride to my place during all the other times I told her I was free and she was welcome to come. She stayed at my place a couple of times, and every time she dressed herself in triple-layer clothing head to toe. We’d start making out, and if I tried to do more she’d push me away while saying “hazukashii.” I’d stop completely and then she’d look up at me as if to say “why’d you stop?”
Similarly, another woman who lived close, she’d propose times to meet but I would have work and couldn’t do it. A lot of the time I would text her and ask what was up, she’d say “Oh, nothing, just finished work, just at home.” I’d suggest meeting up, it would literally be a 10-minute walk for either of us to a neutral meeting location. I wouldn’t hear from her for several hours, and then she’d text back saying oh no, it was too late to meet now. And then ask again if I really couldn’t meet on the day I’d already told her that I couldn’t.
Then there was the first time I learned, several months into things, that the woman was married. …The first of many. The last one, she ghosted me but I ran into her in a supermarket several months later. Before I could say anything she noped outta there on some other guy’s arm. I texted her asking if that was her husband, and she admitted to it, and revealed that the reason she ghosted me was because she got pregnant. Fortunately, the baby wasn’t mine.
Speaking of fraudulent pregnancies, there was a girl I tried to hook up with, but size issues meant it didn’t happen. A month later she contacts me to say that she missed her period, thinks she’s pregnant, and I would be the father. I’m like nope, that would be impossible, aside from wearing a condom I didn’t provide the necessary baby-making material for that to happen. I told her to go to a clinic anyway to be sure. Afterwards, I realized that even though she can’t possibly be pregnant from anything I did…that doesn’t mean she wasn’t pregnant. The next week she called and said “Don’t worry, the baby isn’t yours.” …Yeah, I figured that one out. The last I ever saw of her she was under the delusion that she was rapper Ne-Yo’s girlfriend, apparently not realizing that Ne-Yo hooks up with 3-4 different girls a night when he comes to Japan.
A few times I’ve gone to meet women blind (at their insistence) only for them to be immediately turned off when I arrive, because they don’t like black guys. And a few who knew that I was black, but lost interest upon meeting me because I “wasn’t black enough.”
I guess not exactly a date but My first few months here I helped a guy with an essay in English and he offered to take me out to yakiniku. He ended up bringing his friend without telling but the whole time he and his friends commented on my weight talking about “typical American eating as much as a pig” when I purposely didn’t eat all day cause it was all you can eat so I wanted to get my money’s worth. I’ve never been body shamed before so this really messed me up
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Story time kiddos: I once dated this guy who started ghosting me out of the blue. No big deal, I let it go but he kept stalking my Instagram stories. One day I went live at a park to show some beautiful lights. He watched the live and then showed up. He came out from near the lavatory area with a black hoodie on and holding a black gift bag saying “(my name) I have a gift for you”. I honestly thought it was a bomb but took it because there were many people around and I wanted to get to a less populated area. I looked inside and saw a bunch of picture frames. It was a bunch of art he designed and framed for me. I thanked him and decided to walk to my friends bar but he was following right behind me. I stayed there until he eventually left. I then removed him from my followers.
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Oh yes, let’s get it.
Story 1: Met a tinder date. Her profile was just her eyes and up. When i finally met her, she was literally just her eyes and up. Everything, and i mean everything, below that was a tragedy with a side of f@(k no. In her early 40s looking like she in her 60s, wearing baby phat from the 90s that she was leaking out of. Teeth jacked up, face jacked up, you name it.
Just before i could turn around and abort mission she saw me. So i had to walk around the block with her just chatting because i told her i already ate and didn’t want jack daniel to put me in a predicament.
Of course she talking about how she looking for a guy to take care of her and her grown ass kid, how i seem like such a gentleman blah blah. I did what i could for about an hour, then i had to call it.
Story 2: Went to a music concert. Met an Australian lady there. Older, recent mother, but not bad to look at. We going around the festival grounds, getting drinks, talking smack. We end up in a secluded area with some brits and other aussies smoking…cigarettes. She starts topping me off and the other guys want in. So she takes out her breasts and starts shooting milk into all who were willing’s mouths. I wasn’t so i called it a night. The next day she was born again holy, so yeah. Didn’t work out that time.
Story 3: 40s year old date brought her friend as a chaperone. Tried to make something happen but ended up nothing happened. Still messages me to this day for some reason.
Story 4: i already talked about the skout lady who made a fake profile to track me down. See the post about the guy being threatened by some lawyer he went on two dates with.
Story 5: 4th floor jumper. Met a girl in my navy days out at one of the clubs in yokohama (Club B?) . Anyway, dated for about 1 year. Had multiple warnings from friends that she was cheating, but young and dumb don’t listen.
She lived 2 hours away by train. My schedule was usually 3 days day schedule, 2 days off, 2 days working, 3 days off, then switch to nights, then rinse and repeat. Whenever i was going to night schedule, i would stay on base. Otherwise i went home with her.
So, here’s how it happened. I was switching to nights, and it was the last day of 3 day off. I was gonna go to work then stay at the barracks. She was of course, “I’ll miss you! I’m going to be so bored.” Etc. So i pack up for the week and head on out. 2 hour train ride and maybe 30 minute walk.
So at work, got most of my work done early, so just sat back watching movies when the officer of the watch was like ” Dude, just go home.” So i didn’t want to stay at the barracks that day, and it was early enough to still catch the train back, so went to go see my love! Of course i didn’t call her to tell her i was coming because i wanted to surprise her and see how happy she would be when i came home.
So by the time i get back, it is just before midnight. I open the door and there are a pair of men’s sneakers in the ginkan. I was thinkjng “strange” and kept going in. When i entered the living room, there were beer bottles, chu hi cans and shochu bottles EVERYWHERE! Then on the couch, there’s a fat brother passed out in his underwear. I walk past him and go to the tatami room. My girl is in there under the covers with no clothes on. So i tap her ever so gently and when zhe wakes up i say “Surprise! I’m home!”
She was indeed surprised. Not happy as i expected tho. She yelled to the other guy he had to leave, and by the time i turned around, he was a blur out the door already. It was impressive. To this day, i couldn’t tell you what he looked like. So she starts with the crocodile tears, ” Im so sorry! But nothing happened! He’s just a friend! I’m so sorry, please!” Yada yada. I still didn’t process everything so i just asked her ” Where are your draws? If you can find them I’ll believe what you have to say.” To this day, never been found.
Now it’s too late for me to dip out and i didn’t need an incident, so i played Boo Boo the fool and acted like everything is fine. So of course she threw some booty at me and i went to sleep. Next day i head to work and that weekend i texted her that we were done. She didn’t take it well.
Now my ex wasn’t the smartest person around. She lived on the 9th floor of her building. The guy she cheated on me with was married i guess so he wasn’t interested in a future with her, nor were the 3-4 other guys she was seeing on the side either. So now she is lonely and upset, so she tries to delete herself.
She tried to jump off her balcony, but was afraid that it was going to hurt too much from that distance, so to quicken her demiae, she qent to the 4th floor and yeeted herself to the gods. And lived. Landed on a yakuza dude’s car who was there to pick up some hostesses or something.
The reason i know all of this? My barracks roommate was sleeping with her friend, worked military police and was told by the friend. Apparently since it was over our breakup, police and some other interested parties wanted to know if i would go there to visit her and maybe do a small interview. I declined.
This is fun. We gotta do this more often. I got more stories too but i kept y’all long enough for now.
Not really dating per se but something crazy that happened to when i first moved to Japan-
Went to Hub because I was told it was a really good bar to hang out and meet girls at. Me and a friend get a table, and within a few minutes two japanese dudes come and ask to sit with us because apparently we looked like cool guys. A little weird, and it was putting a damper on meeting women, but ok.
The conversation is very awkward because nobody knows what to say, there are lots of uncomfortable silences but they’re complimenting us both a lot. They ask us where I’m from, if I’m single, do I like Japanese girls, etc. After limping through an hour of uncomfortable conversation one of them tells me his sister is really hot and he’s been texting her about me since they came over to the table, and she wants to fuck me… I say no thanks because that’s weird as fuck. He gets more pushy, saying “shes really hot you don’t believe me?” Shows me a picture of some hot Japanese girl on his phone. “She said she wants you tonight. Also, shes from Tokyo and she’s just here visiting for the weekend, so no strings attached. Plus she doesnt have a place to sleep tonight so you’d be doing her a favor by fucking her and letting her stay overnight. I told her you have a big dick so she wants to fuck you so hard.” Starts showing me more pictures on his phone.
After hearing enough, I say I live way out in the inaka so I need to start heading home. His final attempt is to pay for a taxi for me if I let her ride with me back to my place. I say no thanks and get up to leave. On the way out he starts raising his voice and calling me gay, fag, pussy, etc so the whole bar hears. Anyway yeah that was my first Hub “dating” experience.
TLDR: Went to hub to meet girls. Met a dude instead. He wanted me to fuck his sister and got pissed when i said no.
I once went to karaoke with a deaf guy.
Yes it was as terrible as you are imagining lol
Oh boy, I graduated from tinder some years ago and I will never come back, but it left me scarred for life:
1) The guy who clearly snorted cocaine in the toilet, then got too close to a small water stream and tripped inside. He was so high that he couldn’t even get up and almost drowned. I had to lift him and take his soaked ass to the train station where he had the audacity of asking me if he could come over.
2) The guy who asked me to marry him right after a one-night stand because he was a Christian and he didn’t believed in sex outside of marriage.
3) The guy who followed me to a remote location during my holidays only to ask me why I never wanted a second date. Seems we kissed and that meant something for him. All this happened 2 years after our first and only date. Lesson learned: never add your location on Instagram.
4) The day 2 guys took me on a date to the same small bar. The dates were only 3-4 hours apart from each other. It was pre-covid so I couldn’t hide behind a mask and let’s say I am very recognisable. The waitress sent me many dirty looks.
5) The guy who was married and never told me, but his wife sent me a very angry message and pictures of their 3 months old baby. They live in the US but he told the wife he was going to a family wedding in China – he went to Tokyo instead to cheat on her (expensive and stupid but who am I to judge).
All those guys were gaijins, by the way.
Matched with a half Japanese half Indonesian girl. Looked super cute in the photos. We met up to go for Indonesian food because it would have been a first for me, cool! She showed up after finishing her work, super unkempt in her work uniform, carrying a bunch of stuff. She looked quiiiite different. Not unattractive but her photos were obviously very perfectly framed and maybe a little doctored, but it was fine. I wanted to see what she was about.
We spent around 45 minutes, yes, 45 minutes looking for this Indonesian restaurant downtown that she was convinced existed. We check various maps, yes, it was on the map but we couldn’t find the entrance. We asked neighboring restaurants about it and no one seemed to know. Finally one staff we asked said that it had closed down some weeks ago. Even then she wanted to do another round to check. Oh, and it was raining too.
When she finally gave up we went to fucking Toriki of all places. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some cheap yakitori and Toriki is cheap and consistently good but it’s not a date spot in my eyes.
We finally sit down and have a chance to catch our breath and just chat and…. she spends the entire night complaining about her job.
Nothing beats the cat bones story for me tho…
Just a FYI for the guys out there who got ghosted after having sex once. She’s married or getting married soon. Just let it be
“Waited” for a girl for a total of 10 hours.
Date was 2pm @ hachiko.
15m late, texted, no reply
30m late, texted, replied “running late”
1 hr late, texted, replied “wait for me, running late”
after an hour I went home and pretended to still wait and send additional texts every 30m.
every time she replied with “coming!” “sorry, on my way”
meanwhile I’m chilling with my friends at home (in my dorm)
she finally said “can’t go today because last train” at around midnight.
So technically I “waited” for 10 hours.
I heard rumors about myself after the fact. She was probably messing with me for some sick game or something.
Oh well. It hurt at the time, but I found someone a few months later.
Before I got into a serious relationship and got married, I had a dating/ho phase in Japan. I’ll talk about the highlights. All from tinder except my final online date . All happened in 2018 during my study abroad period.
The weirdest: matched with a guy obsessed with American culture. Anything American, he loved it. He admitted to my through messages he only dated American women and he dated American women of all races. I was his first biracial black/white girl. Weird, but okay. I knew I wanted nothing serious, so I just entertained it. Well he asked me on a date and offered to go to any place I wanted and offered to pay. I said yeah and I wanted to go a nice sushi restaurant. Halfway through the date (which was a disaster, but that’s another story), he begins rapping the fresh prince of bel air theme song. People at the other tables hear him. I pretended I got a phone call and left the restaurant. Luckily, I only had my phone with me so it was an easy escape. I blocked him on my walk to the train station.
The saddest: Guy lied about his age on tinder profile. Looked nothing like the pictures, but was an absolute gentleman. Couldn’t pursue it since it all started on lies. At the end of the date before saying goodbye, he told me he was self conscious to start dating again. He lost his wife of 12 years to leukemia the year prior and was afraid to date. I consoled him as best I could and told him that lying about his age and using old pictures isn’t the best way to begin a relationship. He asked if we could be friends and sorry for lying, I said yeah. As soon as I got back to my dorm, I wanted to message him I got back and wish him goodnight. He already blocked/deleted me. Hope he’s alright although it’s been 4 years now.
The crazy: met up with a guy at a cafe and we ended up going to a love hotel. I told him I was on my period (which was true) and he didn’t care. I said no and tried to leave, he picked me up and carried me to the bed and said in Japanese something like “I already paid for the room, give me my payment “ and began taking his clothes off. I told him if we have sex to not bother and don’t ever message me again or I’ll go to the police. He laughed and hit his head (on purpose) on the table near the bed and his nose began bleeding. I was freaked out. He laughed again and said in English “see? I blood too. It’s okay. “ he tried to get on top of me and I managed to knee his balls. I grabbed my purse and shoes and ran like hell out the room. I ran probably 800 meters away from the motel before finally putting on my shoes. Went into the nearest station and took a train to the closest station to my dorm (train line wasn’t connected to my train stop). Hailed a taxi back to my dorm. Blocked and reported him to tinder.
The best: this was bumble but who cares. Matched with a guy 8 years older than me (was 22 at the time, he was already 30) and didn’t seem like much. Conversations were boring and seemed uninterested in me. One day, he asked to call me on LINE so we can talk. I agreed. We talked and got to know each other. Conversation was finally getting good. Stayed on the phone for 3 hours and fell asleep on each other. Next morning, sends a sweet message and asks could we go on a date to ueno park the following Sunday. I said sure. Day before the date, he tells me he has to let me know 2 things: that he was a heavy smoker and he is short. I told him height didn’t matter to me (true) and that I hate cigarette smoke but I’ll still give the date a chance. On his profile, he said he was an occasional smoker. Either way, I don’t like smokers, and somehow it went past my radar. I’m glad it did. I saw this adorable guy standing at the outside of the JR ueno station gates with flowers and an iced coffee (June 2018, hot af). In our long phone convo, I mentioned how I loved iced coffee with 1 cream and 2 syrup packets and I mentioned that my favorite flowers were white roses. He was standing there with both. Had a great date. Told him if we were going to be serious that he had to give up smoking. He knew my stance on it and that was my line. Well, 3 months later he quit smoking! We took trips to each other’s countries for visits, got engaged March 2020 and After being apart for 1.5 years due to Covid, we reunited in august 2021 and got married April 2022.
Never really dated this guy, but I met him once. He catfished me when he showed up. I knew something was wrong immediately as soon as I saw him. None of his stories added up, and you could tell he was lying.
I also met him in the middle of the night like a dumbass. He was never violent toward me or anything, but I also didn’t make it known I KNEW he was lying. I ended the meet up about an hour and half afterwards, and I never heard from him again.
Few months later he was on the news for murdering his girlfriend and child. My stomach dropped and I literally screamed when they showed his face.
I once had a woman become visibly disappointed when I walked into the date. When asked her what was wrong, she said “I thought you would be blond since you’re from California”. Every single picture on my dating app had me with a dark brown jewfro. She refused to believe that I did not like surfing, and when I told her my hobby was reading, she said “that’s not normal”. I’ll sit through a date that’s a little bad, but that’s the only one I’ve straight up walked out on lol
40 comments
I like stories 🙂
https://reddit.com/r/japanlife/comments/vji4ck/bad_tinder_match_threatening_to_sue_for_defamation/
Went out with someone before and i think we both had a great time..
After waking up the next day, I couldn’t recognize her 🥺
I thought I was a heart throb to be able to go out with 2 women in 1 day 😂
My people, drink moderately.
The Good: girl stands you up, you go back home, stop by the combini to buy instant noodles and strong zero. You cry yourself to sleep in your loneliness.
The Bad: Girl shows up, she looks nothing like the photos because they were all filtered, orders most expensive things on the menu, doesn’t even make a courtesy reach for her purse when the bill comes, goes home directly after dinner because she’s tired, blocks you. You cry yourself to sleep in your loneliness.
The Ugly: Same as The Bad, but instead of ghosting you, turns out to be crazy, starts stalking you, impersonates her family members to contact you, threatens you with legal actions, as if that will make you change your mind. You cry yourself to sleep in your loneliness.
I don’t have that many dating stories here thank god. Nothing crazy like some of the stuff here. But I once went on a date with a dude that just tried to neg on me the entire time. For example, he asked me if ever experienced street harassment as a woman. When I said that I had here, he said yeah, men only approach women here they think aren’t that attractive since they might have a chance. More awkward backhanded comments like this and then he had the audacity to ask if I wanted to go back to his place after lol.
Being ghosted after several good dates is probably the worst one I guess. Had 3 dates, for the fourth date she invited me back to her home, but she changed her mind next day and ghosted me. Well that was a total 180. Ghosting is just so common you get used to it.
Weirdest was the girl who on the day of our date asked if she could bring her friend. Well, I guess can’t say no I guess ? So at that point, to me this is no longer a date. Her friend was really nice and friendly and I I probably spent more time talking with her friend cause she was so quiet and couldn’t hold a conversation. Blocked right after the date. She could have just cancelled on the day if she wasn’t interested in meeting.
Being randomly ghosted/blocked is annoying. Especially after a date in which everything seemed to be fine. I guess that’s just the dating scene in 2022.
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Girl peed in her sleep next to me at an Internet cafe. Another threatened to send Yakuza after me for breaking up with her.
Started chatting with a guy, we had a lot of the same interests and hobbies. Visited parks, ate at some cafes, standard getting to you know you first dates. But then he started getting weird and asked me to come to his apartment and clean it, and actually sent me photos of it. Complete pig sty, clothes everywhere, trash just laying around, piles of dirty dishes in the sink. Very disgusting.
So I ghosted on him. Because I can understand having a little bit of a mess, but honestly showing off that you can’t even pick up your own garbage or wash a dish? When you’re an adult!? Fuck that.
Dude ended up stalking me for several years. Mostly online because I moved to a different prefecture, but he would get friended by friends on FB and use that connection to stalk me and everything. A little frightening, he kept contacting me asking to give him another chance, and that he knew we were meant for each other, he had shown photos of me to his mother and she agreed, etc.
Locked down my FB, blocked his e-mails, and they finally dwindled down to nothing a few years back. I think maybe the fact that I’m married now finally made him realize that I wanted nothing to do with him.
Not in Japan, but in Chicago: Otaku Chinese-American girl from tinder sees I live in Japan and meets me in a full maid costume without any previous warning. I was there for work and was freaking out someone from work would see me with her.
Other than that, no horror stories, but a few weird situations:
While I was on my way to meet this girl she sends me a picture in her bra saying she is almost ready. I reply she is looking great and she just says “I’m not fat!!!” and blocks me. No idea what happened, but I guess she was using google translator and something came out wrong.
Another time I met a Korean girl from Tinder and ended up at my place. Next morning while I was making breakfast she tries to sneak out and tells me “I don’t do breakfasts, too romantic”. The cherry on the cake was she forgot her phone in my apartment and had to come back to get it.
There was one girl that a friend introduced me as she was looking for a boyfriend. She was really busy finishing her PhD at the time and said she was only free on a specific day. When we meet I ask why she’s only free on that day and she goes “oh, I took a day off because it’s my birthday today!”. I told her I had to use the washroom and called the restaurant we were about to go to and asked them to prepare a cake plate with her name. She was so happy she cried. I felt kind of sad for her.
Most recent one. Met this artist for a brunch date. Date was fun, we were a bit far from the city, so we jump into a love hotel nearby. When I get a beer from the refrigerator she asks if I will drink and drive and proceeds to tell me she can’t spend the night because her husband and kid are waiting for her.
Probably a few girls have horror stories about me though.
Getting stood up isn’t exactly a horror story.
Dated a girl who started dating another guy at the same time, found out after the second date at least. Homeboy hit me up on Instagram still talk to this day.
I went out with another foreign girl once and all she did for the entire date was complain about how much she hated Japan and Japanese people.
She’d been here for a few years and I had only been here like 6 months at that point and she asked me to do all of the ordering and stuff even though my Japanese wasn’t the slightlest of an ounce good because she didn’t want to have to talk to the Japanese staff.
I deleted the app after meeting someone else but then when I started to use it again, she matched me again and I was just like “Nope.”
Alright let me get my alt and actually share a story.
Should we talk about the time:
① I got a bloody lip/nose from a girl repeatedly punching me in the face?
② I got a call from city office saying a girl was looking for me?
③ I had dinner with a girl’s mom, sister, and husband with them asking how I’m going to financially support her after her divorce?
④ I walked in to my friend’s apartment and saw the girl I’d been dating butt naked on the couch? (We’d had about 2-3 dates so far)
⑤ A girl stole 2万円 from my wallet and left in the middle of the night?
⑥ A man agreed to pay for the hotel room I slept with his wife in as long as she took the baby with her?
⑦ A girl called me 121 times and when I wouldn’t answer she came to my house, broke the glass on my balcony door, and climbed in?
⑧ I matched with a girl on tinder and she called me over to have sex *just so she can get back at her neighbor who always has loud sex* and then proceeded to say “oh I only needed you for that. We can be friends now”?
⑨ A girl admitted to thinking of ways of killing me in my sleep because she didn’t want me to be with anyone else? (We never even argued!)
⑩ A coworker got drunk and when I drove her home from the 飲み会, threw most the items I had in my car out of the window while I was driving including my glasses, her glasses, and her shoes. And then after repeatedly stopping and retrieving said items, we finally make it to her apartment to where she lifts up her skirt, puts her hands on the hood of my car and just says “come on” in English?
11) A girl game to Tokyo from Kyoto, immediately had sex, and then immediately got back on the train and went home because her father called and asked “why is it taking so long?” I don’t know what “it” was but wtf?
There’s more but I’ll end here. Things have really calmed down in the past 3-4 years.
Agreed to meet a girl for drinks, she immediately started pounding shots and threw up on me within 15 minutes of the beginning of the date.
Messaged a few days later to see that she was really sorry and had been going through some things that day. It’s hard to describe telling the story like this, but it was sort of a genuine heartfelt message. I decided to give her a second chance, and we agreed to go see a film.
She showed up, unexaggeratedly, falling-down drunk. And…you guessed it… a bit into the movie quite suddenly threw up on me again. Also hit several people who were sitting around us.
Met a girl from Tinder in Osaka. Was very different from her profile picture. (Not in a very good way) Refused to speak in Japanese with me even though my Japanese was clearly better than her English by a lot. If I spoke in Japanese she would ignore me. I met her around 3pm and had planned to go window shopping and sightseeing a bit before we went for an early dinner. After walking for like 5 minutes she saw a hub and said let’s go in, she wanted to drink. Got in, sat down, told me what she wanted to order and then looked at me with a face like “go on then, order up and pay.” I bought her and me a drink and excused myself to the bathroom. On the way back to my seat feigned a phone call from a friend, sounded worried and then made up some excuse about how my friend had been hit by a car, dislocated his knee, and needed me to bring some stuff from his place to the hospital for him, because he was going to be there a while. (I explained all of this in Japanese to make sure she understood.) She said something about how it was weird for me to speak Japanese the way I do with the way I look. Ok great, tnx bb im out. I left, met my friend and we went clubbing in Kobe later that evening. Both managed to pull too.
I’ve gotten stood up once without notice and it hurt a lot. Other than that, I’ve gotten a lot of excuses literally hours before our set meeting. For example: “Sorry, I have a stomach ache” (twice in one week then never heard from her again), “Sorry my friend got arrested”, “Sorry I moved to Germany,” countless “Sorry suddenly there’s work now.” It’s fine if they decided they don’t want to meet me, but it was really frustrating that they almost all made the plans themselves and then backed out. I wish they’d just be honest.
Dating a great girl now though and so happy that shit is behind me.
Just a few months after arriving in Japan, I was meeting up with a girl at a train station for our second date. I arrived 30 minutes early and was excited. At the time we were supposed to meet, she started texting me, asking where I was. I said I was there, and she said she was there and I was not.
Ended up that I was at the wrong station! The trains were packed and I was having trouble getting to the other station. They were on different lines, so I had to walk to the other line. By the time I got to the restaurant, she was leaving upset. I stood her up, on accident!
The worst part is that it was my birthday, so she had bought a cake and decorated it with my name and all the happy birthday stuff. I never even saw it, since she gave it to her friends before leaving (they ran the restaurant)
Even so, though that night was a horrible situation, we still got married and I couldn’t be happier. Just over 5 years married, now, with two kids. So, everything worked for the best!
How do people here even meet people let alone date 😟
Oh boy, have I got a story for this thread.
I had gone through a dry spell and wanted to know that I still had *it* so opened up bumble matched with a German guy who is in town for business. We swap some messages and have a little bit of fun and organise to meet the following day.
I meet him, his pictures were accurate, not unattractive, we walk around a bit and talk, of course I am a bit curious about Germany so he indulges my curiosity.
We get back to his room with the intention of getting down to it. He doesn’t have condoms, no worries, we don’t have to go that far.
This is where it starts getting really weird.
The impression I had was that he was quite single, turns out he had a wife he had married and been with for I think it was 6 years already? So he starts with, sooo, im married. Im like ok, hes like but it’s an open relationship so no problem. I’m like cool! He’s like yeah my wife said I can play around with other people if I want. Im like ok, no worries.
We get a little further in and he’s like “oh i feel so guilty, my wife is gonna kill me”. Cue me staring at him and suddenly his wife is calling to check up on him. So we’re in the middle of something and she’s calling and he ignores the first call, but the second time he starts getting edgy. The third time hes trying to figure out what to do and gets panicky and is like my wife is gonna ask my coworker to come and check on me if I don’t pick up (they came on the business trip as a group). Quick! You need to leave. He THEN offers to pay me 30,000yen to leave, and I lost my absolute mind and stormed out. Its 3am by this stage so of course no trains back from Tokyo to Tochigi at that time, I sit in the hotel lobby for about an hour and a half, google the closest station and walk there in the dark, by myself. I arrive back in Tochigi around 6ish, sleep for half an hour, get up, go to work. While I am sitting in the lobby waiting to go to a train station he messages me, oh it was fine you can come back up if you want. I ignored the message.
All in all it was quite a surreal experience, it went from enthusiastic enjoyment to total panic within about 5 minutes. I had checked numerous times too if he was ok with me leaving in the morning – prior to meeting, and he had said he was. I didn’t end up getting anything out of it, other than immense frustration on all levels.
~fin~
She bit my dick
Wait, You guys get matches?
Had a friend I met online before I ever came to Japan. He was just my type, we got along great and had similar interests, including some niche things.
Went on some dates when I finally came to Japan and I thought it was going really well. He even brought me to some cool places that showed he really paid attention to what I was interested in. But out of nowhere, he stopped replying to me for MONTHS.
I was devastated. This was a guy I had been friends with for a couple years online beforehand. It felt really bad and I didn’t understand why when things were going so well.
WELL. He messaged me again suddenly several months later and apologized. He explained that he was married. I’m guessing his wife was getting suspicious. I don’t really remember all the details of what his bullshit excuse actually was. I just remember being really pissed. lol. I think he told me about her as if it was no big deal, like he had mentioned her before but he definitely hadn’t and he said that things between them were getting really bad. So this guy had a wife the entire time but swears he only married her out of pressure from his family to get married, didn’t like her at all and wanted to divorce her. But had kept this a secret from me for years. And yes, in case you were wondering, we had fucked too.
I was livid and I’m not into guys who cheat. My number one rule is that if a guy will cheat on his current partner for you, he’ll cheat on you too. You’re not special. Plus he hid it for so long, lied and strung me along then just disappeared and then reappeared and man, it was a mess. Also, I’m just not into being a home wrecker.
I blocked him and have never spoken to him since.
I thought I had some stories, but some of you guys take the cake. I’ll share a few anyway.
Had been dating this woman for a few months, one night we have a big huge fight. She attempts to storm out of my place, but it’s like 2 AM and the middle of winter. She threatens to call a taxi and bill my workplace for it (no idea how that would work…), so I tell her to at least chill out here for 3 hours and then she can take the train. I block off the door…and so she tries to jump out of the window. I live on the second floor, but still. We talked about this later, and she non-nonchalantly said “Oh, I do bouldering, so a fall from that height would have been a broken ankle at worst” and I’m like oh, you were *serious* about actually jumping out the window! Back to that night I get her to agree to stay here, we both go to bed pissed…and then she reaches over and starts stroking me. I’m like wtf, and she’s like – I’m pissed at you, but I still want to get laid.
Different woman, right at the start of our relationship she got a new job and then said she wasn’t feeling well, so while we texted regularly I refrained from asking her out, figuring she’d be busy and sick. That weekend I catch a bad case of the flu which flares up my asthma. Bottom line, I was sick as a dog and could barely talk. So she calls me over the weekend, and I try to explain that I’m super sick, I’m willing to listen, but I literally cannot talk. She takes over an hour to amble to her point, which was that she was upset I didn’t try to invite her out, despite me telling her why I didn’t. And then she kept asking me for verbal confirmations that I was understanding her repeated points, and inbetween hacking my lungs out I had to remind her that I couldn’t really talk. A few days later she texted to apologize, and I accepted, but I was annoyed at the situation so I let a few days pass to cool down before I started texting her again regularly. When I did her reception was extremely chilly, and when we did eventually meet up she said she was upset that I hadn’t responded to her immediately after she apologized.
One woman lived a 20-minute bike ride away, but constantly complained that we couldn’t ever meet because I wasn’t available at the specific times she wanted to meet, and couldn’t be arsed to make the bike ride to my place during all the other times I told her I was free and she was welcome to come. She stayed at my place a couple of times, and every time she dressed herself in triple-layer clothing head to toe. We’d start making out, and if I tried to do more she’d push me away while saying “hazukashii.” I’d stop completely and then she’d look up at me as if to say “why’d you stop?”
Similarly, another woman who lived close, she’d propose times to meet but I would have work and couldn’t do it. A lot of the time I would text her and ask what was up, she’d say “Oh, nothing, just finished work, just at home.” I’d suggest meeting up, it would literally be a 10-minute walk for either of us to a neutral meeting location. I wouldn’t hear from her for several hours, and then she’d text back saying oh no, it was too late to meet now. And then ask again if I really couldn’t meet on the day I’d already told her that I couldn’t.
Then there was the first time I learned, several months into things, that the woman was married. …The first of many. The last one, she ghosted me but I ran into her in a supermarket several months later. Before I could say anything she noped outta there on some other guy’s arm. I texted her asking if that was her husband, and she admitted to it, and revealed that the reason she ghosted me was because she got pregnant. Fortunately, the baby wasn’t mine.
Speaking of fraudulent pregnancies, there was a girl I tried to hook up with, but size issues meant it didn’t happen. A month later she contacts me to say that she missed her period, thinks she’s pregnant, and I would be the father. I’m like nope, that would be impossible, aside from wearing a condom I didn’t provide the necessary baby-making material for that to happen. I told her to go to a clinic anyway to be sure. Afterwards, I realized that even though she can’t possibly be pregnant from anything I did…that doesn’t mean she wasn’t pregnant. The next week she called and said “Don’t worry, the baby isn’t yours.” …Yeah, I figured that one out. The last I ever saw of her she was under the delusion that she was rapper Ne-Yo’s girlfriend, apparently not realizing that Ne-Yo hooks up with 3-4 different girls a night when he comes to Japan.
A few times I’ve gone to meet women blind (at their insistence) only for them to be immediately turned off when I arrive, because they don’t like black guys. And a few who knew that I was black, but lost interest upon meeting me because I “wasn’t black enough.”
I guess not exactly a date but My first few months here I helped a guy with an essay in English and he offered to take me out to yakiniku. He ended up bringing his friend without telling but the whole time he and his friends commented on my weight talking about “typical American eating as much as a pig” when I purposely didn’t eat all day cause it was all you can eat so I wanted to get my money’s worth. I’ve never been body shamed before so this really messed me up
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Story time kiddos: I once dated this guy who started ghosting me out of the blue. No big deal, I let it go but he kept stalking my Instagram stories. One day I went live at a park to show some beautiful lights. He watched the live and then showed up. He came out from near the lavatory area with a black hoodie on and holding a black gift bag saying “(my name) I have a gift for you”. I honestly thought it was a bomb but took it because there were many people around and I wanted to get to a less populated area. I looked inside and saw a bunch of picture frames. It was a bunch of art he designed and framed for me. I thanked him and decided to walk to my friends bar but he was following right behind me. I stayed there until he eventually left. I then removed him from my followers.
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Oh yes, let’s get it.
Story 1: Met a tinder date. Her profile was just her eyes and up. When i finally met her, she was literally just her eyes and up. Everything, and i mean everything, below that was a tragedy with a side of f@(k no. In her early 40s looking like she in her 60s, wearing baby phat from the 90s that she was leaking out of. Teeth jacked up, face jacked up, you name it.
Just before i could turn around and abort mission she saw me. So i had to walk around the block with her just chatting because i told her i already ate and didn’t want jack daniel to put me in a predicament.
Of course she talking about how she looking for a guy to take care of her and her grown ass kid, how i seem like such a gentleman blah blah. I did what i could for about an hour, then i had to call it.
Story 2: Went to a music concert. Met an Australian lady there. Older, recent mother, but not bad to look at. We going around the festival grounds, getting drinks, talking smack. We end up in a secluded area with some brits and other aussies smoking…cigarettes. She starts topping me off and the other guys want in. So she takes out her breasts and starts shooting milk into all who were willing’s mouths. I wasn’t so i called it a night. The next day she was born again holy, so yeah. Didn’t work out that time.
Story 3: 40s year old date brought her friend as a chaperone. Tried to make something happen but ended up nothing happened. Still messages me to this day for some reason.
Story 4: i already talked about the skout lady who made a fake profile to track me down. See the post about the guy being threatened by some lawyer he went on two dates with.
Story 5: 4th floor jumper. Met a girl in my navy days out at one of the clubs in yokohama (Club B?) . Anyway, dated for about 1 year. Had multiple warnings from friends that she was cheating, but young and dumb don’t listen.
She lived 2 hours away by train. My schedule was usually 3 days day schedule, 2 days off, 2 days working, 3 days off, then switch to nights, then rinse and repeat. Whenever i was going to night schedule, i would stay on base. Otherwise i went home with her.
So, here’s how it happened. I was switching to nights, and it was the last day of 3 day off. I was gonna go to work then stay at the barracks. She was of course, “I’ll miss you! I’m going to be so bored.” Etc. So i pack up for the week and head on out. 2 hour train ride and maybe 30 minute walk.
So at work, got most of my work done early, so just sat back watching movies when the officer of the watch was like ” Dude, just go home.” So i didn’t want to stay at the barracks that day, and it was early enough to still catch the train back, so went to go see my love! Of course i didn’t call her to tell her i was coming because i wanted to surprise her and see how happy she would be when i came home.
So by the time i get back, it is just before midnight. I open the door and there are a pair of men’s sneakers in the ginkan. I was thinkjng “strange” and kept going in. When i entered the living room, there were beer bottles, chu hi cans and shochu bottles EVERYWHERE! Then on the couch, there’s a fat brother passed out in his underwear. I walk past him and go to the tatami room. My girl is in there under the covers with no clothes on. So i tap her ever so gently and when zhe wakes up i say “Surprise! I’m home!”
She was indeed surprised. Not happy as i expected tho. She yelled to the other guy he had to leave, and by the time i turned around, he was a blur out the door already. It was impressive. To this day, i couldn’t tell you what he looked like. So she starts with the crocodile tears, ” Im so sorry! But nothing happened! He’s just a friend! I’m so sorry, please!” Yada yada.
I still didn’t process everything so i just asked her ” Where are your draws? If you can find them I’ll believe what you have to say.” To this day, never been found.
Now it’s too late for me to dip out and i didn’t need an incident, so i played Boo Boo the fool and acted like everything is fine. So of course she threw some booty at me and i went to sleep. Next day i head to work and that weekend i texted her that we were done. She didn’t take it well.
Now my ex wasn’t the smartest person around. She lived on the 9th floor of her building. The guy she cheated on me with was married i guess so he wasn’t interested in a future with her, nor were the 3-4 other guys she was seeing on the side either. So now she is lonely and upset, so she tries to delete herself.
She tried to jump off her balcony, but was afraid that it was going to hurt too much from that distance, so to quicken her demiae, she qent to the 4th floor and yeeted herself to the gods. And lived. Landed on a yakuza dude’s car who was there to pick up some hostesses or something.
The reason i know all of this? My barracks roommate was sleeping with her friend, worked military police and was told by the friend. Apparently since it was over our breakup, police and some other interested parties wanted to know if i would go there to visit her and maybe do a small interview. I declined.
This is fun. We gotta do this more often. I got more stories too but i kept y’all long enough for now.
Not really dating per se but something crazy that happened to when i first moved to Japan-
Went to Hub because I was told it was a really good bar to hang out and meet girls at. Me and a friend get a table, and within a few minutes two japanese dudes come and ask to sit with us because apparently we looked like cool guys. A little weird, and it was putting a damper on meeting women, but ok.
The conversation is very awkward because nobody knows what to say, there are lots of uncomfortable silences but they’re complimenting us both a lot. They ask us where I’m from, if I’m single, do I like Japanese girls, etc. After limping through an hour of uncomfortable conversation one of them tells me his sister is really hot and he’s been texting her about me since they came over to the table, and she wants to fuck me… I say no thanks because that’s weird as fuck. He gets more pushy, saying “shes really hot you don’t believe me?” Shows me a picture of some hot Japanese girl on his phone. “She said she wants you tonight. Also, shes from Tokyo and she’s just here visiting for the weekend, so no strings attached. Plus she doesnt have a place to sleep tonight so you’d be doing her a favor by fucking her and letting her stay overnight. I told her you have a big dick so she wants to fuck you so hard.” Starts showing me more pictures on his phone.
After hearing enough, I say I live way out in the inaka so I need to start heading home. His final attempt is to pay for a taxi for me if I let her ride with me back to my place. I say no thanks and get up to leave. On the way out he starts raising his voice and calling me gay, fag, pussy, etc so the whole bar hears. Anyway yeah that was my first Hub “dating” experience.
TLDR: Went to hub to meet girls. Met a dude instead. He wanted me to fuck his sister and got pissed when i said no.
I once went to karaoke with a deaf guy.
Yes it was as terrible as you are imagining lol
Oh boy, I graduated from tinder some years ago and I will never come back, but it left me scarred for life:
1) The guy who clearly snorted cocaine in the toilet, then got too close to a small water stream and tripped inside. He was so high that he couldn’t even get up and almost drowned. I had to lift him and take his soaked ass to the train station where he had the audacity of asking me if he could come over.
2) The guy who asked me to marry him right after a one-night stand because he was a Christian and he didn’t believed in sex outside of marriage.
3) The guy who followed me to a remote location during my holidays only to ask me why I never wanted a second date. Seems we kissed and that meant something for him. All this happened 2 years after our first and only date. Lesson learned: never add your location on Instagram.
4) The day 2 guys took me on a date to the same small bar. The dates were only 3-4 hours apart from each other. It was pre-covid so I couldn’t hide behind a mask and let’s say I am very recognisable. The waitress sent me many dirty looks.
5) The guy who was married and never told me, but his wife sent me a very angry message and pictures of their 3 months old baby. They live in the US but he told the wife he was going to a family wedding in China – he went to Tokyo instead to cheat on her (expensive and stupid but who am I to judge).
All those guys were gaijins, by the way.
Matched with a half Japanese half Indonesian girl. Looked super cute in the photos. We met up to go for Indonesian food because it would have been a first for me, cool! She showed up after finishing her work, super unkempt in her work uniform, carrying a bunch of stuff. She looked quiiiite different. Not unattractive but her photos were obviously very perfectly framed and maybe a little doctored, but it was fine. I wanted to see what she was about.
We spent around 45 minutes, yes, 45 minutes looking for this Indonesian restaurant downtown that she was convinced existed. We check various maps, yes, it was on the map but we couldn’t find the entrance. We asked neighboring restaurants about it and no one seemed to know. Finally one staff we asked said that it had closed down some weeks ago. Even then she wanted to do another round to check. Oh, and it was raining too.
When she finally gave up we went to fucking Toriki of all places. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some cheap yakitori and Toriki is cheap and consistently good but it’s not a date spot in my eyes.
We finally sit down and have a chance to catch our breath and just chat and…. she spends the entire night complaining about her job.
Nothing beats the cat bones story for me tho…
Just a FYI for the guys out there who got ghosted after having sex once. She’s married or getting married soon. Just let it be
“Waited” for a girl for a total of 10 hours.
Date was 2pm @ hachiko.
15m late, texted, no reply
30m late, texted, replied “running late”
1 hr late, texted, replied “wait for me, running late”
after an hour I went home and pretended to still wait and send additional texts every 30m.
every time she replied with “coming!” “sorry, on my way”
meanwhile I’m chilling with my friends at home (in my dorm)
she finally said “can’t go today because last train” at around midnight.
So technically I “waited” for 10 hours.
I heard rumors about myself after the fact. She was probably messing with me for some sick game or something.
Oh well. It hurt at the time, but I found someone a few months later.
Before I got into a serious relationship and got married, I had a dating/ho phase in Japan. I’ll talk about the highlights. All from tinder except my final online date . All happened in 2018 during my study abroad period.
The weirdest: matched with a guy obsessed with American culture. Anything American, he loved it. He admitted to my through messages he only dated American women and he dated American women of all races. I was his first biracial black/white girl. Weird, but okay. I knew I wanted nothing serious, so I just entertained it. Well he asked me on a date and offered to go to any place I wanted and offered to pay. I said yeah and I wanted to go a nice sushi restaurant. Halfway through the date (which was a disaster, but that’s another story), he begins rapping the fresh prince of bel air theme song. People at the other tables hear him. I pretended I got a phone call and left the restaurant. Luckily, I only had my phone with me so it was an easy escape. I blocked him on my walk to the train station.
The saddest: Guy lied about his age on tinder profile. Looked nothing like the pictures, but was an absolute gentleman. Couldn’t pursue it since it all started on lies. At the end of the date before saying goodbye, he told me he was self conscious to start dating again. He lost his wife of 12 years to leukemia the year prior and was afraid to date. I consoled him as best I could and told him that lying about his age and using old pictures isn’t the best way to begin a relationship. He asked if we could be friends and sorry for lying, I said yeah. As soon as I got back to my dorm, I wanted to message him I got back and wish him goodnight. He already blocked/deleted me. Hope he’s alright although it’s been 4 years now.
The crazy: met up with a guy at a cafe and we ended up going to a love hotel. I told him I was on my period (which was true) and he didn’t care. I said no and tried to leave, he picked me up and carried me to the bed and said in Japanese something like “I already paid for the room, give me my payment “ and began taking his clothes off. I told him if we have sex to not bother and don’t ever message me again or I’ll go to the police. He laughed and hit his head (on purpose) on the table near the bed and his nose began bleeding. I was freaked out. He laughed again and said in English “see? I blood too. It’s okay. “ he tried to get on top of me and I managed to knee his balls. I grabbed my purse and shoes and ran like hell out the room. I ran probably 800 meters away from the motel before finally putting on my shoes. Went into the nearest station and took a train to the closest station to my dorm (train line wasn’t connected to my train stop). Hailed a taxi back to my dorm. Blocked and reported him to tinder.
The best: this was bumble but who cares. Matched with a guy 8 years older than me (was 22 at the time, he was already 30) and didn’t seem like much. Conversations were boring and seemed uninterested in me. One day, he asked to call me on LINE so we can talk. I agreed. We talked and got to know each other. Conversation was finally getting good. Stayed on the phone for 3 hours and fell asleep on each other. Next morning, sends a sweet message and asks could we go on a date to ueno park the following Sunday. I said sure. Day before the date, he tells me he has to let me know 2 things: that he was a heavy smoker and he is short. I told him height didn’t matter to me (true) and that I hate cigarette smoke but I’ll still give the date a chance. On his profile, he said he was an occasional smoker. Either way, I don’t like smokers, and somehow it went past my radar. I’m glad it did. I saw this adorable guy standing at the outside of the JR ueno station gates with flowers and an iced coffee (June 2018, hot af). In our long phone convo, I mentioned how I loved iced coffee with 1 cream and 2 syrup packets and I mentioned that my favorite flowers were white roses. He was standing there with both. Had a great date. Told him if we were going to be serious that he had to give up smoking. He knew my stance on it and that was my line. Well, 3 months later he quit smoking! We took trips to each other’s countries for visits, got engaged March 2020 and After being apart for 1.5 years due to Covid, we reunited in august 2021 and got married April 2022.
Never really dated this guy, but I met him once. He catfished me when he showed up. I knew something was wrong immediately as soon as I saw him. None of his stories added up, and you could tell he was lying.
I also met him in the middle of the night like a dumbass. He was never violent toward me or anything, but I also didn’t make it known I KNEW he was lying. I ended the meet up about an hour and half afterwards, and I never heard from him again.
Few months later he was on the news for murdering his girlfriend and child. My stomach dropped and I literally screamed when they showed his face.
I once had a woman become visibly disappointed when I walked into the date. When asked her what was wrong, she said “I thought you would be blond since you’re from California”. Every single picture on my dating app had me with a dark brown jewfro. She refused to believe that I did not like surfing, and when I told her my hobby was reading, she said “that’s not normal”. I’ll sit through a date that’s a little bad, but that’s the only one I’ve straight up walked out on lol