Hi guys, I am currently working as an ALT, I know that the role is to be part of the community. However it bothers totally bothers me how the JTEs stalk my where abouts even knew what I bought at the grocery store and what I eat on a daily basis. I tried to move two cities away from my placement however the JTEs seems to know where ever I go. I just want a work life balance.
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27 comments
That’s very weird. Talk to someone in your company about this. This is not normal at all.
Get a disguise. Then when people around town ask you why you are wearing a disguise tell them it’s because of the JTE follows you and makes you uncomfortable. Get the community on your side and they will put a stop to him.
start rolling smaller joints there paranoid slim.
It is weird. You should talk to your CIR.
what is a JTE?
I think you need to give an examples of what has happened here. Now you you just paranoid. You actually moved 2 cities away and they’re still able to stalk you?
need more details. sounds hard to believe
This does sound paranoid. What’s probably happened is that a parent or two saw you and mentioned it and gossip spread to the JTE. I had this happen to me as an ALT in a rural area, it wasn’t a big deal. After about a month I stopped being in gossip because I was boring, and everyone found something else to focus on.
Kinda sus post. Either you’re miscommunicating or you have one crazy jte or a troll.
What adult wants to waste time keeping tabs on you? Especially after moving cities. I hope you’re not telling everyone where you live?
When I was an alt, living in Ehime, I saw this happening to not only foreigners but also Japanese teachers. Especially anyone that didn’t fit in the mold of what other teachers saw as their group was spied on.
This included most of the young single teaches and I would hear the older teachers talking about how “such and such doesn’t have family in the area and isn’t married so we followed him in the grocery store to see how he eats. We found he only buys xxx and yyy for his groceries every week…” or “Ms. Y goes out on the weekends drinking at bar z and doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
Except for the guy with the groceries, it never seemed to be that they were actually following people as much as they had a network of gossip mongers that relayed information on who they saw where and when.
Likewise, when I got there they were greatly concerned with how I would make food and who would wash my clothes for me… as well as whether I had a girlfriend, but they weren’t just spying on me as a foreigner. They knew the bars that I typically went to and some of my habits (like drinking g too much coffee or biking log. Distanced). While it annoyed me, knowing they spied on everyone made it tolerable.
I did some P/T support at a yochien in Osaka many moons ago and the encho sensei knew absolutely everything I did. If I had a girl stay over or if I came home really late at night to my apartment. Whatever. He’d call me up on the carpet for tarnishing the school image. All the mothers in the area are like the local babushkas were in Soviet Russia. Watching and reporting the goings-on to the higher ups. And yes, I’d see them all the time at the supermarket so they’d know what you bought. You’re just a topic of conversation amongst people who have mostly idle lives. It’s not personal.
And all the people telling you you’re paranoid are just suffering from normative bias. Didn’t happen to them so it must be unreal. Also, they’re mostly academic types with no real life experience and all-in on Japan so they don’t like to see anything critical printed. Worse than the Rightists, honestly.
Downvote me, you know it’s true..
IS this a joke? Obviously one of the students or parents saw you buying things at the supermarket and made an innocent comment. Nobody is stalking you 🙄
JTE most likely just hears the kids/other staff talking about you and for some reason likes to flex their knowledge? The students/staff are a huge collective group and will know what you do all the time. It just happens.
Its weird that the JTE is bringing that kinda stuff up to you all the time tho.
If you don’t like people knowing what you do, living in a rural area is not going to be good for you. You’re the foreigner.
Just let it go.
I used to work in Wakayama at the high school level at 5 high schools on a weekly basis.
A teacher might ask me what I did on the weekend, and the students passing by in the hall would answer the question based on the local rumor mill, because they hadn’t met me directly.
Whatever.
Country people going country stuff. Part of the deal unfortunately
Lol. I’m practically famous locally and I don’t even live that in a particularly inaka place. It is what it is.
And the thing is if you’re doing a good job with your classes, you’ll be known for good reasons in the community. It’s pretty nice.
You’re not being stalked. Don’t be so dramatic
However, you are a foreigner. You do stick out. There are benefits and drawbacks to this mini “celebrity” status. You’re going to have to find a way to not care so much, or you’ll have a rough time in Japan
This is pretty common. Especially if you’re a new face. My first year here, I had people actually come up to me in the grocery store and literally inspect what I was buying and then tell me what I should and shouldn’t eat. Also, lots of people (not just teachers) knew where I had been or what I had done. “So did you get your new shoes?” “—what? How did yo—?” “Japanese shoes are very good quality.”
Then there were the constant health checkups on me “you’ve put on weight.” Or “you’ve lost weight, are you ok?” I’m a bigger guy so one (female) teacher even had the gall to comment incessantly on my “huge stomach” everyday. Even in the third person, like I wasn’t there. Until she asked me, to my face, “DID YOU SWALLOW A WATERMELON WHOLE’!?” Then I told her that’s rude, I don’t appreciate it and am quite frankly surprised that you think it’s ok to say that to someone. She lost a lot of face in front of everyone and never did it again.
Then straight up, “do you have a gf? Do you like Japanese girls? Do you want a Japanese girl?” 🤦♂️ (of course I did, but that was besides the point)
The list goes on and on; but now, 14 years later, my kids going to school here, being seen all over the place… no one bats an eye or cares; which is nice. Plus my Japanese is a great deal better now so I’d probably ask them why they’re so interested in me and they’d freak out, lol.
I dunno. I’ve heard some horror stories from Shizuoka lately. Especially with the stalking.
If you know Japanese, and someone says something to you, there are three options: say something, pretend you don’t know, and do nothing. All three are valid answers. You are not in the wrong for feeling the way you feel. When I first got here, I’d get a lot of the “okii hito” (I used to weigh 150kg) I shut that down quick. People wanna say something, I just tell them it’s rude to do that. And now either I don’t hear it or they don’t do it (I live pretty inaka, so it happens.)
If you don’t like it, tell someone who will listen in your boe
Yeah, I’m from a small rural town, and this is just what people are like. It’s going to be hard to escape it, seeing you’re the new guy in town, and being a foreigner makes you a Person of Great Interest. LOL.
Just practice a variety of bland/funny comments to reply to them with:
Them: Oh, you like onigri, don’t you, I saw you buy it at the conbini!
You: OMG YES ONIGIRI ARE MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.
You’re going to need a sense of humor, and an ability to say a not while saying nothing. Good luck …
This happens anytime you move to a rural area in pretty much any country where you’re obviously the fresh face. People gossip, all the time. ALL the time. When I moved to a small community and soon after started to get recognized because I had to make media appearances as part of my job, people I worked with would let me know that I had been witnessed doing various things at various places by their acquaintances. Got take out at local Chinese place? Apparently now I’m lazy and don’t cook. Got coffee with a female colleague to discuss work? Omg I have a new girlfriend and it’s serious! Didn’t notice someone I knew at the grocery store? Wow what an asshole, I’m only nice at work or to reporters, and I’m actually a very cold person.
It may be difficult, but you will have to learn to ignore these people. They will talk behind your back, whether you like it or not. If you prefer, you CAN make it clear that you do not prefer to discuss your personal life with them, but that will not stop gossipy people from doing gossipy people things.
Sounds like Smalltown, Anywhere to me.
You’ve completely misused the word “stalk” here. They aren’t stalking you, unless you spot them following you around town and into stores. They just know more about you than you’re comfortable with. This is just how small towns are, and as a foreigner in Japan, you’ve doubly got a spotlight on you.
Your company can’t do a thing about the nature of the social environment in a small community, or the fact that you stand out in a crowd. Realistically, exactly how would the company impose on your JTEs not to hear information about you?
Of course, everyone has their comfort levels, but thinking the company, school, boe can control small-town gossip is preposterous. If it bothers you to the extent you are saying, it’s simply a matter that small-town life may not be right for your mental health. Moving to a big city is really the only option that will improve this situation from the information you’ve provided.
Check out Soseki’s novel Botchan. Make sure you’re reading it at your desk at work. Leave it in the center of your desk during classes. It’s an oldie but a goodie. Maybe reading it will be cathartic.
Ive had jtes ask for rundowns of my life outside school. Initially i took it as them being friendly and asked back – apparently not ok. 🙄 now i dont share my personal life and live far from the schools i work at. Certain old nosy types got annoyed by my repetitive answers – they were also the complaining type so i was glad i never shared real stuff.
Ive never worked with a company or boe that saw me personally as a person… complaining did nothing.
Tbh id ask for another school before they find some stupid thing to get you in trouble over
Yeah, it was fun to talk with teachers about how they saw me drink 3 beers in 10 minutes at the local izakaya. I guess, we just stand out, and they are very curious about what their ALT is up to.
Wait until your medical check results come out, or if you have to go to the doctor for anything. So many horror stories.