I need advice or help.
I am half-japanese, grew up in Europe. I'm in mid-30s. I live in japan over 10years now. I tried to fit in here really hard but at one point I understood that they will never accept me as japanese, always treating me as foreigner, even I can speak Japanese fluently and have black hair. I struggled a lot, worked shitty jobs, then in corporations, but I got sick&hospitalized, lost everything. and now I'm really tired. I tried to not give up so long but I understand now that japanlife/culture is not for me. It was waste of time for me.
I want to go home, go back to Europe and start over. But my parents were sometimes really toxic, always fighting when I was a kid and I have heavy trauma from that. I'm scared to contact them and go back to the past life.
what would you do? what can I do?
by reiking008