Hosting a Japanese Student

11 comments

1. Cool experience!

2. Do you wear shoes in your house? If you do, he’s going to think you’re at least a little bit disgusting; nothing you can do about that unless you’re willing to stop. Either way, get a cheap set of house slippers for him that he can wear inside. He’ll appreciate it.

   When you offer him something (like a snack or whatever) don’t take no for an answer the first time. It’s polite in Japanese to always refuse the first time you’re offered something, even if you do want that thing. He may just be waiting for you to insist, so don’t drop it unless he says no two or three times.

   He’ll probably bring you some kind of gift when he arrives. Take it with two hands, and when you put it aside don’t put it on the floor. Same goes for his business card which he might give you. He won’t expect you to know the proper etiquette (if you’re interested: take it with two hands while bowing slightly and place it on the table in front of you if you’re sitting at one, in a business card case if you’re not) but don’t just stuff it in your pocket; it’s disrespectful.

   He’ll generally want to shower/bathe at night rather than in the morning, so be prepared for that, and when he arrives after a long flight he would very much appreciate if you ask if he’d like to take a bath; a hot bath is a favorite way for Japanese people to unwind after a long day. Just make sure your bathtub is clean (in Japan the tub is almost always separate from the shower and is for chilling, not bathing; you’re supposed to wash before getting in the tub.)

   Have some beer in the fridge (nearly all Japanese men like drinking at least a little) and pour his beer for him. Keep an eye on his glass and offer him more when it’s getting low. In Japanese social settings it’s customary to never pour your own beer. Instead, you keep an eye on the people sitting next to you and pour for them when their glasses are empty, and they do the same for you).

3. Communication wise keep an eye/ear out for things that are left unsaid. Depending on what he’s learned or experienced before with foreigners, he might not always be super outright about any discomfort. The Japanese are all about that high context language: for example if you ask someone to do you a favor in English we’d say no and maybe a reason why. The Japanese version is more like “uh maybe…” or “I’m looking kind of busy then…”. That sort of feeling.

   But another thing too to keep in mind is he’s someone trying to study abroad and get the full exposure to a different culture. So don’t be *too* worries about conforming to what the Japanese would do.

4. Bring him to a Japanese/Asian market sometime might be appreciated.

5. Probably you will get advice about Japanese manners. Don’t worry about them too much. We understand we are in another culture and prefer to respect it as a sign of respect. Also he probably wants to learn about your way as a part of this stay.

   Anyway.

   As a former Japanese student in the U.S., I’d guess uncertainty would be the major obstacle to him. Communicate often. He might say he has no problem, even if he does. Have a dinner together or hang out at the living room, ask what he did during the day. That would make it easier for him to bring things up.

   Regarding this, respect his personal space. We are not used to touching other people as a communication tool. If he is hesitant of hugs or even hand shakes, I’d suggest other ways of greetings would be good.

   Looking into others’ eyes is considered rude in Japan. You don’t need to change your behavior, but anticipate him looking away with while talking.

   Thank you for hosting him and asking about these things!

6. I once hosted a Japanese student in Malaysia. since I was just a high school student at that time, my father took the lead. he brought him (the jp student) to many places such as ‘pasar malam’ or night markets in english. japanese people love street foods so this might be the easiest place to go. other than that, just show them what’s famous in your place. I tell you this, anywhere we went, he’ll be ready to take tons of photos😆

7. When my family hosted a distant relative (17 years old) from Japan, we found out he liked those Costco croissants that came in those 12 packs for super cheap. We also found out he liked Doritos. We went to coscto and spent like probably 20 bucks on both. Which is a lot of corissants and doritos. He liked staying with us.

8. I used to run a Sister City program for my county which focused mainly on HS and elementary school aged children, however we frequently had Japanese mayoral staff, or a school teacher join along in the host program.

   Above all else, simply be a good and kind human being. Do what you can to make the exchange student/faculty to feel welcome into your home, and that their time with you matters. Listen to what they may be shy to say, and talk to them.

   After that, you can ask them what are some things they’d like to do while in your area. Take them out to dinner, share/cook a family recipe, take them somewhere fun. You definitely don’t have to feel obligated to do something big every day, or every week. Try some small things on the weekend maybe.

   You also don’t need to break the bank. Do what you can to ALSO have fun.

   You may just make a lifelong connection!

   edit: Don’t smother them with too much affection. Like what some others have mentioned. Japanese people tend to not be super touchy-feely with strangers. So, hugs and handshakes may be a lil awkward. If they initiate, then, sure, go for it.

   ALSO, allow them some privacy.

   ALSO ALSO, they mayyyyyyyy take their sweet ass time in the bathroom when they bathe. Start off with a shower, then they’ll probably fill the tub (if available).

9. Don’t forget to just be your genuine self! I mean, someone coming to a foreign country for so long is I’m sure also looking to
   experience different people and culture.

10. naked bath time – the whole family. enjoy!!

11. If you live in the U.S. then take him to a shooting range and then to an empty parking lot to test drive your car.

    He’ll remember you as one of the coolest people he’s ever met for the rest of his life