I’ve lived here longer than I ever intended/thought I would. I’ve learned the language. I have a very natural way of speaking (their words, not mine). All I want to do is to go about my life as I would anywhere in the world…(self-imposed) barrier free, looked at as just any other person…not an idiot, not a tool to be used.
And yet, I still get hung up on this…friends/regular acquaintances making the decision to learn English and requesting (or insisting in some cases) that I help them by only speaking English to them.
If it were a stranger, or someone I’ll rarely deal with again, I have no problem dismissing them (politely, of course). However, when it’s a friend/regular acquaintance, after nearly two decades, I still can’t figure out how to handle it.
The most recent example is a manager of a cafe that I frequent (multiple times a week) and who I also surf with. His cafe has had an increasing number of foreign (tourist?) visitors and he wants his staff to get better at English to accommodate them. As we were just shooting the shit this morning after a surf and before the cafe opened, the conversation somehow turned to language and he then suggested (in front of other staff) that I start ordering/conversing with his staff in English to help them improve. It took me about an hour to walk on eggshells and drop hints about why I didn’t want to do that and why I think it wouldn’t work…and it still got awkward.
I just want to order my food, maybe have a short chat, hang out, relax, and work a little. I don’t want to have awkward/forced conversations and, truthfully, I don’t want to get stared at by other customers or reinforce the stereotype that foreigners can’t understand the local language as I try to get staff to take my order in English when I’m fluent in Japanese. However, I also don’t want to be an asshole and o don’t want to burn bridges or make my visits to the cafe awkward.
How do you handle these situations? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
by tikitwinnie