Hi everyone,
For some context I am a foreign born fully Japanese person who grew up overseas- I lived the first 19 years of my life in a Western country. I only came to Japan for maximum 4 week holidays during my life, but this year I’ve come to Japan to study Japanese at a language school. Since my parents are Japanese I can speak well but my reading and writing is atrocious. I have always been rather uninterested in fashion and my appearance; I do want to dress nicely and have nice clothes, of course, but actually doing these things I don’t really engage in, I’m just not really that type of person. By no means however, would i consider myself shabby, unmaintained or unclean; I still wear a bit of makeup and wear good quality clothes but without adhering to a particular style; I definitely chose comfort over fashion. But I would still consider myself presentable. I am here to study, not to make myself look better. I would definitely prefer to put more time energy and money into learning and cultivating my mind rather than my appearance.
Recently, my cousin wants me to have an image change since this is my study abroad year. He looks at photos of my other friends from Japanese language school from when we go out (they are all so beautiful and dress very trendy, and could be models) and says he wants them to help me dress and act better, and dress less nerdy. He says by the time I go home, “You’ll begin to wear clothes like that.” I know he just wants to help me but I’m quite surprised at how often he brings up this topic and also brings up wanting to take me to the hairdresser (i wear my hair in a ponytail every day). My foreigner friend from class also says I should wear nicer clothes when we go out – “so we can take photos”, or “please don’t wear what you wear to school on Saturday.” I find these comments rather hurtful and i find them largely absent in western culture. Side note- These comments are also coupled and compounded by my cultural outsiderness, I have been told by the friend that I am not Japanese, or “I can’t believe you are Japanese” when I do not know a famous food or shop. Additionally my lack of photography skills that are suited for social media sites such as instagram also does not help in me fitting in, as the same friend told me, “what are these pictures, nobody takes pictures like that,” when I took pictures of her for her, or “your phone (iPhone 12) is too old.”
Should I really pay more attention to my style and buy more fashionable and on trend clothes and dress better? Is it essential for fitting in in this society?
Thanks everyone would appreciate any help.
Edit: I was taking pictures of the friend, she wasn’t judging pictures I had already taken on my phone like I had made it sound, my apologies.
For anyone interested I mainly wear T-shirts (eg. Oversized ones or 2 designer brand ones that were gifts from family), solid colour button up blouses, black/navy cargo pants from UNIQLO, 1 pair of jeans from GU…. I don’t wear any skirts, dresses, mesh, lace, ruched things, things especially tight fitting, or clothes with cut-outs (my legs and shoulders are covered at all times).
by stxrryfay13