More of a rant/vent, really. If you've been through something similar or have any practical, empathetic thoughts, I'd love your input.
I've been facing a multitude of challenges over the past several years, both financially and emotionally, leaving me in a state of constant distress. While I've made progress in reducing my debts and financial obligations almost completely, the emotional toll has been huge. My work situation has been unstable, making it difficult to secure a stable, well-paying job that doesn't suck my soul away or interfere with my trying to have a life.
At 35 years old and having lived in Japan for almost 5 years, I've only managed to save 180,000 yen, which leaves me feeling far behind in terms of security and general well-being. It's disheartening to see many of my peers and acquaintances in far better situations, but I also feel guilty for struggling when so many others are suffering so much more than me, yet thinking of them only depresses me even more because I can't come to terms with the world being such an unfair shitshow for so many people.
I'm trying to build my savings and have planned my budget based on my expected income over the next several months, but the growth rate seems too low. At the same time, I know I need to prioritize spending on things and experiences that will bring me more mental and physical well-being, yet I have such strong financial trauma that I'm terrified of spending. It's like I can neither have the cake nor eat it. Being stuck in this cycle is exhausting, and I'm unsure of how to break free from it.
Overspending can be an issue for many people, yet in my case I'm finding it taxing to constantly budget and restrict my spending. I'm struggling to find a way forward. Things might get better, but luck is a huge chunk of it.
EDIT FOR CONTEXT: Living in Tokyo with my partner and friends is great. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Laid off in May 2023 from a job paying 5.5M yen due to budget cuts. Unemployed for a few months while paying off divorce settlement debt and depending on work visa. Expert in localization as a project manager. Jobs in my field are scarce in Japan, often with low pay and poor conditions. Explored other fields, landed a similar-paying job in an unrelated field but with very good conditions and work-life balance. Laid off again after 6 months due to restructuring. Facing financial insecurity, visa renewal, and tough job market for the second time in a year, I recently secured a job with lower salary (5M yen) and far worse conditions than previous positions. Lost out on a very promising senior job opportunity to a slightly more experienced candidate. Struggling to find stability and build savings. Unsure about developing new skills for better job prospects. Seeking realistic savings goals to avoid prolonged financial strain, while overcoming fear of spending.
by Kangy1989