I know this is going to get downvoted to hell, saying that I’m lying or wrong, but I’m not here to cast judgement or change peoples minds, I’m really looking for some support.
I moved into a new place about 35 minutes from Osaka proper, in a UR apartment complex. I’ve met lots of lovely people like my next door neighbor and random, very kind, little old ladies just surprised to see me there… but lately about 5% of all of my interactions are just blatantly racist and it’s really starting to get to me.
I don’t want to go into a full story time, but everyday I go on a jog by the river. Today on my way home I was jogging into the complex and a woman jumped in front of me and started yelling that gaijin aren’t allowed here. I told her I lived there and she just ignored me and kept going on. I don’t know what to say or what to do, so I just put my head down and keep walking.
I never had this once when I lived up north of Kyoto and never once when I lived in the city, but it’s at minimum twice a month here. I know a lot of people will say it’s not a big deal or I’m misunderstanding this, but no matter what, it really hurts. I’m doing everything I can to never be a nuisance. I just work, I go to my shōdo class and I go to the gym. I don’t drink, I don’t go out, I’m never loud, I always keep to myself… I want to say something but it feels like damned if I do and damned if I don’t…
I don’t know… I guess there’s nothing to do except put my head down and keep walking, but it’s really starting to hurt. A lot. The first time it was whatever. The second time it stung a little. Now it’s starting to really seep in. I’m getting afraid to look up when I’m on the street and I just feel like shit.
If anyone has any experiences or any ideas, I’d be really grateful. Again, I want to reiterate that I’m not here to say anything about Japanese people or the broader culture or anything like that, so please, even though I know it’s coming, please try to refrain from the “you must be doing something wrong I’ve been here for x years and that’s never happened to me”.
EDIT: Thanks for all the helpful responses. I decided to go with what a few users suggested and just make a joke out of it. It really does feel like the only way I can come out of it smiling, and also in hopes of making them come out of it with a bit better of an outlook on foreign residents. Thanks again to everyone, I feel a lot more optimistic.
by Narwal_Party
35 comments
Where in Osaka are you?
“Thanks for the tip, I will keep an eye out for those pesky foreigners too!”
I feel like I know exactly how you feel! I used to live in Kobe for a few years and never had any trouble. Moved to Tokyo for school (I’m almost done with school and plan on moving from Tokyo) and it was the first time ever I had racists yelling at me.
Bigger cities tend to have more people and more miserable people who want to hurt others. It’s their way of letting out stress.
Usually “nicer” areas have less old miserable people, so, less racists.
I don’t think you should move because of a few bad interactions, since it costs a lot of money, but, if it affects your mental health to the point you can’t get out of the house anymore (happened to me, I refused to leave my house for a month or so after what happened), please consider moving to either a nicer area, or an area where you’re less likely to interact with neighbors.
This is the double-edged sword of Osaka. They’re outgoing and loud people, which is great when they like you. Unfortunately, their racists are also loud and outgoing.
If it’s the same person, I would just stop and have a full clear conversation that I live here and that they need to understand that. Until it’s clear in their head, they are going to keep doing that.
If it’s multiple people, maybe the first person is telling their friends or neighbors and they are all joining in. If you just ignore them, they will think that you don’t understand them. Stop and make it clear to them
Maybe reframe it as living in a place with a lot of mentally unstable people or (depending how you want to look at it) low-life people spoiling for a fight. It’s likely they would antagonise you for something else if you were Japanese. The good news is it’s not personal, the bad news is your new neighbourhood kind of sucks.
tell them off, quickly but firmly, then move along with your day
I honestly expect shit like this to happen more often as the news keeps sensationalizing foreign tourists “causing trouble.”
You have two options. Just throw the questions back at them. “Do YOU live here? You don’t look familiar.”
Or, like you’re doing, just go ahead. Don’t put your head down. Just stand up tall and keep walking. You didn’t do anything wrong, so there’s no need to look guilty.
I’m part Japanese and still get this kind of behavior. It’s truly unacceptable no matter how old they are and I hate how they “get away with it”. I used to get really bummed out about it but now I just figured out how to come up with witty responses.
Real life convo I had with a Japanese woman
Her: 国に帰れ
Me: そんなに嫌いんだったら田舎に行け
Gave her a big smile and walked away! She was shook lol
Try to say something that would make you laugh. Only way to deal with other people’s negativity. I have also called people fat and stupid completely out of context to the racist insult thrown out (insulted by them first ofc). I am petty as hell but it makes me laugh and the situation less dark in my mind.
Not much advice I can give you other than to reassure you that you’re not going crazy and it’s not just you, I’ve had my share of bizarre sort of “petty” racism.
I find these relatively minor things to be the most difficult to deal with. It’s kinda on the borderline of “*yeah that was err racist but is it worth making a fuss about…? maybe … not… hmmm.. ok if it happens again!*”
Then by the time it happens again you already cooled down so you’re back into “*hmmmm maybe not that bad I guess perhaps?*” mode and before you know it you let a bunch of stuff slide for the sake of not causing a stir.
Especially so when it’s a stranger and the assumption is you’ll never see them again anyway so whatever.
Hang in there!
Those of us who have lived as part of the majority in our countries of origin are often fortunate not to have encountered racism so openly. But the fact is that racism is everywhere in every country. You have simply been lucky so far if you haven’t experienced it yet. Hold your head up high! Think of these as well-earned scars on the battlefield of social justice. You have now been bloodied in the struggle.
In cases like this I like to go full gaijin. Stop and smile, put your hands on your hips, spread your legs wide, and nod your head and ask them to explain in English. Pretend you don’t understand and spew nonsense in English and ask lots of questions, “I like cats! Do you like cats?” and “Does it ever snow here in Osaka? I miss the snow.” Show concern. “Do you need help? Is there something wrong?” Let them see you as a happy, harmless clown. They will try to insult you in Japanese. Keep smiling and cheerfully spewing nonsense in English. Finally introduce yourself and your hometown. Ask them their name in English and where they are from. Finally, announce that you need to get going and continue your jog.
What communications experts tell is that only 7% of what is said is actually communicated. 38% is the tone of your voice and 55% is your body language. Your bodily display of extreme confidence and the cheerfulness in your voice will be unnerving and confusing to your attackers. Your relentless questioning will trigger a natural response from them to try and answer but they won’t be able to.
It sounds stupid, but I’ve had enormous success with deliberately misunderstanding insults. Sometimes I even get laughs out of the people trying to insult me. Once I get them to laugh they are unable to continue their attacks. They realize how silly we are both being and they can’t hold their anger anymore.
1) accept that you will never be accepted as one, and there will always be people against foreigners. This is not unique in Japan. Being an Expat this is part of the life. Sometime it could be 0.5%, sometimes 50%. Be mindful and be peace with it.
2) try to find a more friendly community. Or “cooler” community which people just don’t care each other even drunk people screaming every night.
3) enjoy your own life by care not to anyone. What others think is nothing to you. Be selfish. Protect yourself.
Unfortunately this is a price that a lot of minorities/immigrants pay around the world and there is not much you can do to change it.
Don’t be afraid to insult them back if it is at all therapeutic- you don’t need to be respectful to xenophobia and other people don’t expect you to be a doormat for the unhinged elements of society.
I’d say “sorry I didn’t hear you . “Take out my phone and record a video then say “could you please repeat what you said moment ago. “ get them to walk away real quick. Record with a phone or watch for audio. As long as you don’t upload it . It’s all fair game and it’s proof of the incident if it continues.
I’m not saying take this evidence to the police but maybe they would walk away from you for fear of privacy .
Little scare tactic .
>Today on my way home I was jogging into the complex and a woman jumped in front of me and started yelling that gaijin aren’t allowed here. I told her I lived there and she just ignored me and kept going on. I don’t know what to say or what to do, so I just put my head down and keep walking.
Call the cops? If you’ve proof you live there then they’ll settle it.
Or what I would do, is tell the lady to go fuck herself and ignore her.
Play the “Why?” game, just like little kids.
If they say “No furriers!”, ask them why. Keep going until they give up in frustration.
Seriously, though, try very hard to attend the neighborhood cleaning days. They only take 30-60 minutes, and are both a great way to meet some of your neighbors and a way to show that you want to *be* a good neighbor.
I’ve only had two instances of someone yelling at me in Japan. The second one, the guy apologized, so I think he was having a bad day and somehow I ended up his release when I accidentally tapped his leg while sitting at a counter. I think the other was probably the same, it was nothing personal, she was having a bad day and I happened to be in the way. Neither seemed racist, unless they took me for an easy target since I couldn’t argue back.
I got a few actually racist comments in the US. They were mostly ignorant, but it does weight on you after a while. One was someone snapping at me because they thought I was Latina and I was working in service. Mostly it was about my middle eastern background on one side of my family, and which half of my body was going to blow up. Or “all those countries are the same anyway, so why don’t we (the US) just blow them all up.”
If the racism/ignorance was from people I interacted with regularly, I rolled with it as though it were a joke. If it was a one off, which were the hardest to deal with because they were the most angry, then it hurt in the moment, but I eventually got over it. Just gotta persevere, or rant to someone and eventually you’ll be able to make light of it by turning it into a joke and it won’t sit as heavy.
Tell them to fuck off, and move on. If you’re white, it’s probably your first experience of racism. For a lot of people, this is a daily occurrence.
うるさいわ！and keep walking. Why should you be nice to someone like that?
I lived in rural Okinawa years ago and encountered that kind of situation a few times, from someone making fun of my broken Japanese to straight up “国に帰れ”and I didn’t have the language skills to do anything but walk away and internalize it. It really can feel like shit, so I get it.
Just like anywhere else in the world, neighborhood matters so much. Where I live now, it’s nearly impossible for that kind of situation to happen. Don’t be afraid to find surroundings with a better vibe if your current one keeps bringing you down and you don’t find a solution that leaves you at peace when it happens. UR is super easy to move out of too.
I’m surprised redditors believed you, similar situation happened to me and I made a thread about it. About 1/4 of the comments were “didn’t happen”
That sucks to hear.
Unfortunately areas near Danchis are often frequented by low class Japanese who can’t really afford to live in the nicer places and it’s probably worse in Osaka where the locals often speak their mind very freely.
Being very open is great when people are friendly towards you but if they’re racist then it’s worse because they don’t hold back and say everything that is on their mind instead of doing Gaman.
Kyoto people are generally more reserved and when they insult you they do it very stealthily so it’s a little bit better I guess?
Maybe it feels like it’s not a big deal but it can really mess with your mental health. If you have anxiety like me, the last thing you want is to be on a big stage with everyone looking at you.
I find masks and/or sunglasses help since I can at least hide a little but it’s been over a year and I’m still struggling. You’re not alone !
I’m sorry to hear, that sucks. I love Osaka but did you know you can tell Japanese people to fuck off? Or shut the fuck up?
Stick up for yourself!
Fortunately I haven’t had any bad interactions for a long time – but when they did happen it helped me to pause and think just how terribly so many Japanese people are treated by their own. Work place bullying etc.
I’m also a firm believer that these people probably spend their lives treating others like shit so barking back at them even louder might give them pause for thought.
Be you, be unbullyable!
Japanese people don’t know how to respond if you answer back, they just freeze up and go into shock, just say anything in Japanese and she’ll likely shutdown. すいません、日本語がわかりません。。。and just go
Asians were yelled “Go back to China” randomly in the USA even they are not Chinese. Just the same situation.
Encountering such people is like stepping in dog poop. It’s something you can’t completely avoid.
You did nothing wrong. Show her your middle finger and keep moving forward with your life.
Imagine living in UR housing of all places and being a full-blown racist. Take solace in knowing that the presence of every gaijin in the building pisses them off every single day. Give them a hearty “konnichiwa!” and smile next time. And keep doing it every time you see them.
I believe you. There has been a rise in blatant racism here recently, probably bevause of the disrespectful tourists but two wrongs don’t make a right. I hope your situation improves, just know that you are not alone.
There are shit ass racists in every country. Just laugh at them or call them out and then move on. They have to live in that hell of a mindset. You don’t.
“I heard the birth rate is seriously declining, so I came here to f**k as many Japanese women/men as possible.”
“I’m doing my part”.
“…so please, even though I know it’s coming, please try to refrain from the “you must be doing something wrong I’ve been here for x years and that’s never happened to me”. I like how you started with a PBC deterrent disclaimer. Unfortunately necessary around here usually.
I like dropping an “お酒くさい！”, waving my hand in front of my face while walking away, when someone says something stupid. Gets you out of there, and also implies that only a drunk ignoramus would say the dumb shit they just spewed.
While I was out walking my dog, this guy said, “ugh, foreigner.” I responded back with equal disgust: “ugh, middle-aged man.”
Sorry you are dealing with this in your building OP.
Tell them “aren’t you Chinese? You don’t look Japanese at all!” to make them really pissed lol