This can apply to eating by yourself, going to events by yourself, solo travel, etc.
I’m aware this is a much bigger thing in Korea, but I was wondering if it was common in Japan as well.
For context, I (24M) live alone and work in Kyushu as an ALT. My coworkers constantly ask me about my summer plans and if I’m traveling with anyone. I tell them that I’m traveling by myself in Japan, and they either do a double take or ask me if I feel lonely “さびしくない?” It’s not just one coworker but many of them think I’m lonely and try to confront me about it. They were surprised when I told them I’ve been to izakayas by myself.
I’m a very quiet/reserved person by nature, so I don’t tend to speak much unless I have something important to say or someone approaches me first. When you factor in the language barrier and my so-so Japanese skill, that adds another layer to the pie. As an ALT, I have to play the character of a very genki person and always be smiling when interacting with the kids/staff, but as you can tell, that can be very draining over time as it’s not my nature, and I work at two very large elementary schools with very genki kids. On days where the mask comes off or I’m just not feeling high energy, everyone (students, teachers and staff) wonders what’s wrong with me and sometimes talks behind my back.
I was invited to a function by one of the teachers at my school, and I was the only single person there. That same teacher saw me sitting by myself drinking my Asahi and in front of everyone asked if I felt jealous “羨ましい？” I was very confused since it came at random, so I had them repeat themselves. I told them no, but then they started prying into my love life and asking me about my type in front of everyone. I felt uncomfortable after that.
When I run into students at events outside of school, they always ask if I came with someone, and I always tell them no.
You don’t need a partner to be happy, so when they keep asking me if I’m lonely, it gets very annoying after a while and makes me feel judged for not having one. Almost all of my coworkers are married or in relationships. Do I not go out to eat or travel because I’m single? Is traveling something you only do with friends/family or a partner in Japan? What’s the consensus? I shouldn’t let what others think about me affect me, but I’m getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over.
Maybe I’m doing something unconsciously that’s telling them I feel lonely, or the teachers are spreading rumors. I’ll never know.
I intend on switching my career to something more suitable once my contract is up. I just hope that I can endure and do my job to the best of my ability until then.
by Actual_Highway