My (elementary school age) son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and while I assumed that it is good to know, my wife now informs me that it is now impossible for him to get private insurance, a bank loan for a house, entrance to private schools, jobs in most companies in the future.
I assume that, as with many things in Japan, there can be a lot of stigma attached to ADHD and it is probably not something that you want to advertise (and may also explain why many parents are reluctant to get their kids tested), but is it as serious as she is making out? (She is somewhat prone to catastrophizing and usually when she tells me extremely dire news, I tend to find that the dial has been turned up to 11 – in other words, there is some truth to it, but it is exaggerated).
I would appreciate any help you can give! Thanks for reading.
15 comments
That sounds like bullshit.
Just from observation, it looks like most of the kids in my neighborhood have ADHD. Such a diagnosis is not public information and with privacy laws being what they are these days it’s hard to figure how anyone in the future would know about it if he didn’t disclose it.
Bank loan, I don’t think so. They just need several gensen chyo shu hyo, no medical records.
No idea on private schools, but I fail to see the benefit in that.
You don’t have to say you have ADHD when you get a job.
While having ADHD limits your insurance options, it’s not impossible to find one that accepts you.
It does make things difficult when you buy a house because you may not be able to get the necessary life insurance attached to the mortgage, but if you’re married your spouse can get a mortgage and you can help pay it back faster.
Really, it’s no different from having other incurable health conditions.
There are many good guides like this out there on the topic https://woman.excite.co.jp/hoken/medical-insurance/573
Sounds like she’s exaggerating the problem. At any rate, you won’t know how it will affect him until he is older so it’s pointless stressing about it now. For you, it might be a good idea to lurk on r/adhd for a while to get an idea of what having adhd means on a day to day basis.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in Japan.I’m not sure how it affects insurance tbh, I haven’t heard anything from my insurance company (I’m on my company’s insurance)Schools, banks and jobs have no way of knowing about your medical records, unless you voluntarily disclose them.
I’m not sure how/when the banks would find out. I doubt your private health information is shared with banks, due to privacy, which Japan is very strict about.
I’m also not sure how a job would find out. Even if they do a background check (for financial related jobs) your medical history is almost certainly not included
Sounds like your wife is having an existential crisis. I suggest being a caring and committed partner and listening carefully to her concerns and agreeing that things are not ideal.
Don’t argue with her this is not rational, she is panicked and looking for someone to understand her concerns.
I have many Japanese friends who are ADHD, some very much, some were medicated, all are doing well in life, some in big companies, other doing like random stuff but still successful at what they do.
I am very ADHD myself, and I still work for a big company, (even not efficiently at all lol), and life my life although not in an ideal way, its still works out very much better than the average people.
She has no idea of what she is talking about, being diagnosed with ADHD is not a yellow star, and yeah ofc it might not be the best to say it to everybody but with appropriate support ADHD childs can have extraordinary success, so don’t worry lol
Also ADHD its pretty much very over-represented in communities like this one (the reddit + expat + japan + men combo pretty much brings ADHD to at least 30% of this sub I would say, out of 3%～ in a normal population)
FWIW, I work at a well regarded private school and we get lots of kids with adhd or “on the spectrum” specifically for the fact that they do better in our closed, kind and understanding atmosphere than they would in a big public school. Private schools might be your friend!
If you have ADHD, don’t worry! There’s plenty of us out there who are successful despite our ADHD. You can do it too!
I worked at a private school for 7 years. A lot of the kids we got had learning disabilities, autism, social disorders, etc. Private schools tend to receive the students who can’t get into public schools (which have harder entrance exams since they’re free and have a maximum amount of students they can accept). Private schools are all about the money, and usually won’t turn your kid away for manageable issues.
Similar dramatic “diagnosis” in my kids life… the sky fell in… he got lots of support “special” support … there was also this subtext about protecting privacy to avoid stigma… all blew over… and he is kicking ass… storm in a tea cup
Even in the USA it can really screw things up. ADD can be a permanent ban from commercial flying and maybe private pilot’s license iirc. But it’s not always recorded in a way where those entities can get that information either.
Your wife is indeed overreacting. While it is true that ADHD will complicate things, consider the following:
– Things, rules & attitudes can change wildly in the next 20 years
– Untreated ADHD will make sure that your son will have a much harder time doing all the things she mentioned.
That makes Japan and incredibly sad country. When you have problem, you are on your own. Man that sucks. I was diagnosed with ADHD as well but I better than average person except the inattentive part.
If my records get leak, I guess I just have to deal with it when I am doing my job hunting.