I’m working as an ALT and one of my kids in my junior high school just absolutely hates me for some reason. They will actively push themselves against the walls to avoid me in hallways, bad mouth me in class and when I walk by, etc. It would be one thing if they just didn’t participate in class and kept to themselves, but this kid is loud and proud about how much they hate me. I’ve got tough skin, but like this kid is just nasty and horrible for no good reason. I usually just ignore them and move on, but I do think at a certain point it gets ridiculous and something should be done about it. I myself don’t want to say or do anything as idk the best way to go about it, but just looking for advice on how to deal with it.
by Dippersnoot
28 comments
Have you talked to their homeroom teacher about it? If you haven’t, it sounds like you should have awhile ago, long before it got to the point that it has.
I think you have a couple of options available to you. With the limited information in your post I’m not sure what you have/haven’t tried, but I’d say you could try any of the following.
1) Speak to your JTE. You said you work as an ALT so I assume you’re team teaching. If you haven’t already, you could try explaining to your JTE that this is getting to you, and ask either them or the homeroom teacher to deal with it. This depends of course on your relationship with these teachers but it may help.
2) Address issues when they happen yourself (within your limits) if the kid says something, tell him to stop. In English or Japanese (whichever suits your situation) don’t get emotional or worked up, just be stern and calm and tell him either to stop, or that it’s not an appropriate thing to say. A very stern “teacher look” can also go a long way with some kids.
3) Personally, (as difficult as I know it is) I think your best option is to ignore the kid. I also teach JHS and any of them who pull this kind of thing are usually looking for a reaction. Just don’t give him one. If he actively avoids you in the hall, pretend you didn’t see him. If he says something in class, pretend you didn’t hear it. Kids love reactions to their nonsense shenanigans and the best thing to do is not give them one.
Finally, I just want to remind you that it’s okay that this is getting to you ❣️ Teaching can be rough, kids can be mean and sometimes it’s hard to keep the thick teacher skin in tact. You’re doing fine, and it will be okay.
If the education from parents are lacking and once the child (usually during ) find out they can’t be kicked out, expelled and what not, they will increasingly get worse.
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That kid is a lost cause. It’s probably all about wanting attention.
Talk to the homeroom teacher or vice
They don’t exist anymore. It sounds fucked up, but it is alarmingly effective. Just had a little psychopath last year. Enabling trashy parents, too. Just looked right through him and occasionally created a wall between me and whoever they were trying to talk to. I’d appeal to the students that did like me not to engage and to focus. This kid wanted to destroy me just for me not engaging with the behavior he started.
This year? He’s great. Couple weeks ago he apologized to me as well.
Stoicism isn’t my favorite tactic. It’s not necessarily what I 100% agree with. But, it is effective. If your homeroom teacher isn’t supporting you, go above their head to get someone on it.
Tough situation. Luckily as an ALT, they are not your kid. They are one student in a class. It’s good that you have tough skin, your situation would try anyone. As others have said, talk to the Japanese teachers and find out what you can.
I have found talking to kids after class to be effective. Get them out of their familiar classroom environment and away from their laughing classmates and let them know that they are being disrespectful and that you are not here for their nonsense. Usually even the toughest kids get nervous when it’s just them and the foreign teacher one-on-one. At the very least you are letting them know that they have crossed a line.
I would go straight to the vp and have a talk about this situation.
Like u/LannerEarlGrey said: talk to their homeroom teacher. Simultaneously, talk to your HR department (assuming you work for Interac) and describe everything as you’ve written. They can make a formal complaint to the school administration on your behalf.
If that fails, talk to the English teacher you liaise with and ask them to go with you to speak to the vice principal about the issue; but wait until after you’ve attempted to solve things by talking to the homeroom teacher. Also, you should be in the classroom with a Japanese teacher of English. Ask for their help, too.
That sucks. I’ve had a few bad eggs. It was horrible and we can all say “just toughen up and bear it” but it’ll still suck. However, it really is a good learning experience. You only see that one kid once a week, and after you come through it, all your future students will be a cake walk. Don’t take it personally. That’s one thing I learned after surviving a lower level school for 3 years. It helps if you go and see other subjects that student is in and see how he behaves. He might be a little butthead in other classes too.
Ignore them completely
if it disrupts the class then JTE should tell the HRT, if it’s just in the hallway then just ignore it tbh.
Kind of a hot take on this:
Human psychology is to test authority. We want the strongest most able leader. In olden times, the impact on our lives would have had more consequence. However, our brains supposedly haven’t dropped this instinct. It could be that this kid is testing you in some way because of this deeply buried instinct. Obviously that is filtered through his lenses, his upbringing, etc etc.
Could just be you’ve got one of those kids.
Could be another reason.
Either way this game is already playing itself out. Might be too late to stop it, but it’s not too late to take control of it. It takes two to play the game. So stop playing it. Don’t give him the satisfaction. You are the grey person now. No reaction escapes your body, you don’t notice, you ignore him, you ignore everything. It’s not your problem. You are not situated to deal with this. The greyness is your boundary. You are enforcing it and you should only respond to him when he meets the expectations of how he is supposed to treat you. That way he has a route back to, a way to improve, but he’s got to do the hard work of getting there. You can’t not interact with him, but your job is to teach him how to interact with you without it being at the expensive of anyone else (including yourself).
Watch out for your sanity …. I’d not give this an extra second of your time or consideration than it deserves. Especially if you have already tried. You can’t teach those that won’t meet you halfway. That’s sad, but it’s true.
Good luck. Everything passes.
The same thing I would do for any kid breaking the rules.
1st Offense – Warning
2nd Offense – Move them to the front of the room away from their friends
3rd Offense – Send them out to the hallway to give them a stern talking to. Then have them either write lines on the board or do some hard time consuming math problem on the board without a calculator
4th Offense – Call their parents
5th Offense – Have the principal come to the class and deal with the situation.
Unfortunately, foreign instructors do not get much autonomy when it comes to dealing with students’ poor conduct and/or work habits. The schools and parents can oftentimes be equally enabling when it comes to coddling students and not setting firm standards for conduct. Sometimes you’ll find your native colleagues to sweep it under the rug or see it as “nothing,” especially when it pertains to foreign teachers. Lots of times you’re expected to put up with shit and be Genki in the process, rather than be a regular teacher, even if that is your actual role at a job. If you’re working for a dispatch company, they’ll likely just side with the school and want you to shy away from disciplining students. Maybe report the situation to your immediate colleague or supervisor and see if they help you. Document all behavior each day. Good luck! In today’s global education systems, the children and parents are seen as complete “victims.”
Have them stand in the hall next time they say something bad. It’s pretty simple.
Talk to the teacher in charge of the classroom you work in and then take it to the Principal. If nobody does anything, take it to the authorities. This kid sounds like a menace to society and possibly dangerous. I had a problem once in a Japanese school. I reported the kid/family to the authorities. They sent social workers to their house very frequently and monitored them carefully.
a lot of the time ppl are projecting. even children. i think ppl treat kids like they don’t have shit they go through bc they’re kids but a lot of the time it’s something at home. i recommend pulling them in and asking if they’re ok and if they need help or if anything is going on at home. a lot of ppl act out when stuff is going on
Tell your staff should you start teaching the vocabulary he is using so the other student can understand?
I dunno I was only in an after school things and he pretty quickly learned I could nail him in the head consistently when trying to ‘teach’ dodge ball in the reward for everyone finishing early.
Don’t do that last part
I had one kid removed from class because he constantly talked over me when I was trying to teach.
PE teacher would just came and pull him out of the class and made him run around the track for 40 minutes.
Also 4th year shogakko English lessons were skipped because the entire class were unhinged and unteachable. Completely skipped English. (Not compulsory at the time so it was ok)
Their grades were the lowest in the schools’ history.
This was in the 90s though so I bet things have changed.
Some things just can’t be fixed.
But on a positive note, some things fix themselves.
The kid I mentioned above married his ALT from highschool the year after he graduated. They have two kids now.
If it was me, (teacher for 22 years) I would try to get some tutoring sessions with him. The worse he is, the more one-on-one he gets. No criticism of his behavior or anything, just the pure punishment of having to be at a desk with me. It has worked to some extent in the past.
I had a kid like that once. Kept saying fuck you to me in class over the course of the year and it just got worse. One day I was walking by in class during an exam and he randomly just lost it, jumped up pushing his desk aside and shoved me into the next row of sitting students – principal said he didn’t like the way I was looking at him apparently. Never got an apology, but hey over the next year the kid stopped saying fuck you to me, I dunno guess he got it out it of his system. Lol
How many kids are you dealing with actually? I see “they” all over but “this kid”. If it is really only one, then it becomes easier.
I had a boy in my class (12 or 13 at the time) and he was exactly how you described above. Look for his/her biggest insecurity and exploit it but in a very covert way. I noticed that my problem child was extremely uncomfortable around girls out in the hallway. Once I learned this, I made him sit beside one of the prettier girls in the class and he was always partnered with a girl or a group of girls for activities.
He complained a bit but barely as much as in the past and was too bashful and insecure around the girls to give me a hard time. His father became wise to it and asked why I did it and I told him. To my shock, he said, “Wow, that is a really good idea. I am going to tell my daughter to invite her friends over more often for dinner”.
Give them a bad grade.
I honestly made a little 5th year student crush on me just by asking if he was ok
Ymmv
I think the first thing to do is stop calling them your kids.
Don’t say anything otherwise you’ll be seen as the problem. Complaining to superiors is a last resort unless he’s trouble in all classes. Even then I’d try to mend the situation yourself before going to higher ups.
You gotta be smarter than the little troublemaker. Find out what they like and start saying you like the same things. You’ll be surprised how much a child, even a teenager, can come around from such a small thing like this. Remember, their brains are still developing, and will lie and be nasty without even realising it. But, they can be easily manipulated. Use that to your advantage.
Another thing you can do is start wearing nice clothes to school. I know schools are pretty dirty places generally, but showing you’re high status can help.
Are you overweight or in poor shape or poor at sports? Try and reverse this. Image is important in Japan.
Is it your fault?
I can definitely relate to this. I have one student currently that started calling me a Japanese name not exactly sure what it is but I know it’s meant to be mean since a few students that aren’t too fond of me have started calling me it. It’s sounds similar to “gako” figured it’s related to gaijin, I honestly just ignore it and him. However he’s gotten his lil group to start calling me it. I’ve decided that since I’ve had issues and reported it before, to just essentially ignore it. However, if it’s at a point for you where it’s affecting you emotionally or mentally then tell your dispatch company or a teacher you feel comfortable with. There’s no guarantee that anything will be done tho. Depending on how serious this is and your level of discomfort it’s up to you and dispatch company and possibly school to make a choice on what actions to take.
You just said it was one student, why do you keep saying “they”?