I’ve been here for 1 year now & so far in my experience, going out to drink alcohol regularly seems like a big contributing factor when trying to form friendships. Either that or be a gamer or a k/j-pop super fan or be alt/emo or belong to some other niche, but none of these things interest me. People my age (late 20’s) that I’ve met are not into sports/pilates or painting events, talking about brain rot social media trending topics lol etc. The “friendships” I’ve made from the Meetup app are very surface level with both japanese and other foreigners. Maybe I am the problem? Maybe that’s just the sad reality of trying to make friendships as an adult? I’ve noticed foreigners with boyfriends/girlfriends don’t feel the isolation as much. Has anyone experienced this and how did you deal with it? Just a quick rant I guess – please don’t come for me I’m sensitive lol
by Sweaty-Staff8100
4 comments
i would say “follow your interests”, i’ve met nice people at a jazz club and a boxing gym
start by doing what you like and it will be easier to get into more meaningful relationships when it’s around a subject people share interest in common
it’s tricky, but doable, keep trying 🙂
Nah I get it. I’m not a drinker so the drinking parties aren’t really for me. And a lot of friendships in Japan in general are surface level I think. I do things that I like doing. I’ve also made several friends off of dating apps. 🤷♀️
It’s great to put yourself out there. But sometimes it’s going to be a bust. I remember the first big event in Osaka after the borders opened up again was a thanksgiving dinner. It was fun, the turkey was great, but I made the mistake of going alone. I had forgotten how men can be at these things. I ended up being a bit annoyed by the end of it. Talked to people but didn’t make any connections with anyone. It happens.
If you play football or futsal, I can send you a facebook group. They play regularly and accept everybody.
Regarding socializing, since I know no Japanese and still learning, my options are limited. To socialize, I join meetups but I rarely find someone that I actually like hanging out or they turn out to be tourist and go back to their country. I don’t drink too so can’t tell how things go in bars but for me only football groups worked out little bit.
I can also recommend board game events too, i had fun there and people are more chatty I think. I am afraid of feeling isolated too, so trying to go out as much as I can but still didnt really find friendship or partnership.
The key to having a good friendship as an adult is to have something other than just catching up to talk about. A lot of my friendships failed after a few hangs when I realized we have nothing to talk about after getting to know each other and also no mutual friends to gossip about lol. It was easiest to make friends from work, cause then we could always bitch about work, or bring up old memories.