I disagree with a lot of the commonly held beliefs about life in Japan as a foreigner

People say they always get stares, that hasn’t been my experience. They say people don’t sit next to them on the train – outside of the train seat etiquette thing that is an unspoken rule (first people to seat sit in corners, leave gaps at first, then additional people fill them), no one has any issues sitting next to me on the train.

I don’t really feel like an outsider per se. I’ve always felt like a guest to their country. People just treat me as another person and that’s all I ever want.

I will say, though, people around town automatically remember me because of my face. I’ve gotten free drinks before. I think that much is true.

I find men who frequent gaijin-hunter places to be probably worse than the hunters themselves. Why not have a stable and normal girlfriend??

24 comments
  1. I’ve been here off and on for a few decades now, and it certainly is not what it used to be. The stares mostly stopped some time in the 1990s. Paying any attention to anything around has completely disappeared in the age of the smartphone, especially on trains.

    The train seat thing does kind of happen to an extent – the seat next to a gaijin will be the last one that is empty, and quite a few people will stand rather than take it, but eventually someone will sit there.

  2. I don’t feel like outsider either, cause random people keep asking me directions and if it’s the right bus stop to go somewhere, even if I don’t look like Japanese at all. It’s always a bit stressful, because my Japanese is not that good, but I do my best trying to help them 😅

  3. I have been living in Japan for around 15 yrs, and I’m 3rd gen Japanese.
    On the train the seat next to me will be empty most of the time. Everywhere I go people will stare and look at me. I’m white and my height is average or about the same as Japanese people.

    This happens less often if I go to big city like Tokyo, but in Inaka or smaller cities like Saitama, and Nagoya, it will happen more often.

  4. Stares can vary a lot depending on foreigners. I’m very tall for Japan (192), I get a lot of stares. Do I think it’s done in a negative meaning? No.

    I think foreigners quite often confuse Japanese that don’t want to sit next to them because they unconsciously do something out of Japanese manners (take to much space, stretch their legs or any other reasons) rather than just been a foreigners. I’ve seen way more Japanese not sit next to a Japanese not respecting these rules than not sit next to me.

    The problem is not to be foreigner, it’s to not be Japanese enough.

    Why shame people you don’t agree with? If some foreigners like gaijin hunters it’s their choice. Same as gaijin hunters, what’s wrong for them to like gaijin. Everyone is free to like who they want to like.

  5. I surely had a few people who sat beside me in the subway, choose a better seat, as soon as it became available. But that happened to Japanese folks too. So it’s likely not always a “garlic gaijin” thing.

    Maybe we shouldn’t be too squeamish about things like these. Yes, we are a minority and, therefore, a target for assholes. But not everyone is an asshole, so we might as well default to assume that behaviours like these are not meant for us.

    It’s not always about us.

  6. It’s good to know that you’ve had only good experiences. Keep in mind that experiences differ. People having bad ones and you having good ones are two conditions that can be true at the same time. It’s a big country with many people and a fair number of foreigners sprinkled in. Surely you’re not trying to say you’re the gold standard, are you?

  7. Congratulations! You have discovered “anecdote”!

    It’s great that you’ve had the experience you have, and you’re welcome to disagree with anyone you like. Your experience is not representative of everyone else’s experience, and a large number of people _have_ had odd experiences as a result of being foreign.

    Just this evening, I was in line at 551 Horai to get some buta-man. The staff were in full-on machine mode, with a lady immediately before the cashier taking the customer’s order, which she had ready by the time payment was complete. This pattern was flawlessly repeated for the 7-8 customers in front of me.

    My turn came to place my order with the order-taking lady. She pivoted around toward the counter exactly like she had with the prior 7-8 customers, with full intent to take the next order. She stopped in the correct position, made eye contact, hesitated for a split-second, and then carried her pivot right on around and walked off to some task that suddenly, magically needed her immediate attention (it didn’t) in the back of the store.

    The cashier then called me to come around the corner and place my order, and the transaction was completed clearly and easily in Japanese. Very next customer after me? Order-taking lady was already back into the flow of things, acting as if nothing had happened and that she hadn’t just run away from interacting with a foreigner before even finding out whether or not they spoke Japanese.

    I’m not being too sensitive or offended, because honestly I really don’t care. I just observe and find these things amusing. Just like when I went into a Joshin and all the experienced staff forced the new guy to come over and help the foreigner. Gave me a good chuckle to see the look of terror on their faces. Both of these are also anecdotes, which have no bearing on what any other given foreigner might experience.

  8. There is nothing to agree or disagree with. Different foreigners can get a different experience depending on the impression they are leaving on other people.
    You can be happy that people don’t stare at you but it doesn’t automatically apply to any other foreigner in Japan.

  9. I usually stare back and until they stopped staring at me. I’m happy if nobody sits beside me. I can put my back next to me.

  10. I lived inNew York for 18 years. I never got mugged or had a gun pulled on me, but my experiences don’t mean that it doesn’t happen to other people.

    I don’t have any issues with the locals either, but I know people that do. Experiences may vary.

  11. I think OP will get shit on for anecdotal evidence, but I also think people on this sub tend to over-exaggerate what constitutes as staring or just random chance leaving the seat next to you open.

  12. >People say they always get stares, that hasn’t been my experience.

    Yeah neither have I. I’m East Asian. People do get stared at depending on the location and your skin color. I know, it’s mind blowing right?

  13. I managed to go from English teacher in my first year in Japan to software engineer on my 11th year. By now, I guess I am old and well off enough that I wouldn’t feel a need to prove or correct any non serious injustice in the world and any micro aggression directed towards me I will just say sorry and back off. If no one wants to sit next to me on the train, it makes no difference to me. I will just keep watching my Netflix on my phone during my morning commute.

  14. I mean, it’s okay to have different experience than many people here. The fact is, no one will post here that they had a normal intereaction with Japanese natives, so the odd experiences are the only ones you are likely to read about- especially here.

    In my experience, it’s been monstly neutral, but some things do irk me from time to time. Like I’ve had it happen a few times that I pay money from my wallet and the clerk will reach past me to give my change to whatever Japanese person I’m with at the time. Or I went out to sushi last night and when we got the check, the staff leaned in and whispered to my wife something that she should have just said to the “table.” stuff like, Okay, so in addition to the plates, you also ordered ramen and french fries. Is there anything that you ordered that has yet to come?

    ​

    The worst thing that happened I guess was that a taxt stopped and when they noticed I was not Japanese, said that they don’t travel to base (I lived in a town near a base) and no matter how many times I tried telling him that I don’t live on base, I live in a neighborhood about 20 minutes away, he kept saying Sumimasen before eventually driving off.

    ​

    Annoying, sometimes downright discriminatory things do happen to gaijin here. If they haven’t happened to you, I’d just count myself lucky and continue enjoying life in Japan.

  15. Yeah you probably got here less than a year ago. You’re nowhere immersed enough yet to see what’s going on around you.

    Foreigners complain about these things because they are very real and very common.

  16. Your life experiences will vary far differently from others for various reasons. Just because you didn’t experience something does not mean others didn’t experience it.

    I’ll never understand why people feel the need to try and sound superior over other foreigners. Not even sure why you care. You’ve never experienced any kind of xenophobia or discrimination? Great, but lots of us have. You sound like a twat.

  17. That’s a bold statement to make on this sub. I completely agree with you, but a lot of the people here like their victim role.

  18. Many–not all, but many–people who choose to live in Japan come from backgrounds in which their appearance and skin tone blend in with the majority of the population.

    Suddenly, they’re thrust into an environment in which they’re different, leading to various slights and microaggressions, whether real or imagined.

    I have news for you: Many people in Japan experience the same things that you do. Korean residents, women, the aged, the disabled, members of burakumin communities–for these people, microaggressions are a bitter fact of life, and have lost the uniqueness that many new arrivals associate with them.

    Next time you’re on a train, look around. Take note of the exaggerated way people respond to, say, a sightless person who boards, or the way they giggle when a person on the autistic spectrum stands behind the conductor and sounds out the names of stations.

    Here’s what many new arrivals need to be told: Welcome to the real world.

  19. oh you must be a pretty white lady.

    unfortunately not all of us are like that.
    whites are always sugoi even they can only speak konnichiwa and they only need photo that shows off their color to get accepted in english school. plus they always get paid higher even with less education than asian and african counterparts.

    whereas on the contrary, brown asians (same with latinos) are being seen only as “slave”, “maid”, “low cost workers”
    and
    black as dirty, criminals, drug dealers and africans as kawaisou and “people of poverty”

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