Japan is great but there are always going to be things that do my head in

32 comments

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2. I’m not sure I understand the problem? They have a no visitor covid policy and they respect the law. It’s been that way for over a year. What’s the problem?

3. I mean, I understand it’s probably really frustrating for you and stressful for your wife, but of all the places in Japan where they’re going to follow the rules to a T, the hospital should absolutely be the most strict. Like, the ward office bullshit I can understand, but why would you expect them to be casual about the rules in a hospital? They would be putting your wife, and every other patient, at risk if they let you in.

4. It really sucks. A friend of mine in Melbourne couldn’t see her dying father because of same rules. No goodbyes as he couldn’t use a telephone. Better get that video chat happening !

5. You have two options:

   1. Transfer to a different hospital with a different COVID policy.
   2. Wife leaves the hospital and returns home.

   If they bend the rules for you, and you bring something in that kills someone, they will be held totally liable.

6. It is a very very frustrating situation. I was in your wife’s position. Suddenly had to be hospitalized (not super serious, but was there for over a week) no one could visit. I do not have a husband or anything, but my friend and supervisor could not come. I became very bored, lonely, and cried a lot. I facetimed people as much as I could even if there was not much talking.

   I have a surgery coming up and I am not looking forward to the loneliness again. Hopefully I wont have to be there very long.

   I wish your wife a speedy recovery and recommend she actively voices the fact that she wants to go home

7. Are they still asking for people to quarantine when arriving from foreign countries? Because that’s obviously done fuck all to help when Japan recently was seeing the largest increases world wide. It feels like the world has moved on after realizing it won’t stop except Japan and China refuse to think that. Thankfully though, Japan is not doing those Shanghai style lockdowns.

8. I think the problem is you expect flexibility and leniency from the wrong institutions. Places like the tax office and hospital admin don’t employ people for mental flexibility and negotiation, it’s processes and boxes to be ticked. This isn’t going to be different anywhere else in the world and life is going to get a lot easier once you learn how to deal with it. It’s frustrating but you’re looking for love in the wrong places.

9. I have a sad story about this. Last winter my girlfriend’s mother was diagnosed with cancer and she passed away within just one month. My girlfriend (and other relatives) was allowed to visit her only twice during that period. Many other times she went there and was only allowed to pass her mother things to the nurse.

   The family was allowed in two days before she passed away, and of course immediately after the death.

   I can tell you it was harsh for my girlfriend, not only her mother was quickly withering but she was not allowed to be next to her in the last moments.

   Yes it was because of Covid but still, I think it was cruel.

10. While I get how you feel (my wife had surgery awhile ago, she was in the hospital for like a couple weeks.)
    I don’t see why the hospital has to show leniency here. In fact, I’m glad the hospital was strict about it, I would not want my wife to be exposed to more risks while her immune system was down. Ya sure you could be vaxxed but you are not 100% risk free. Every person the hospital lets in is another variable and risk factor.

    Please educate me if I’m being insensitive or assuming. I apologize in advance, but I also don’t see why she HAS to see you in person. My wife and I just video called when she felt lonely. And rest of the time she was chilling by watching youtube on her phone or talking to other patients. It wasn’t really a devastating emotional ordeal or anything

11. My wife was hospitalized for six and half weeks earlier this year, so I know what you and your family is going through. I’ll be honest, we decided that it was better for my wife to come home than stay there because the isolation was doing so much harm to her mental health and wellbeing. Japanese hospitals are like the gestapo with their silly rules. They won’t do RAT tests to make sure patients are kept safe while looking after their mental and social wellbeing, they just lock you in and throw away the key. I’m not aware of any other country that acts like this. My home one requires RAT tests and proof of vaccination for visitors, but so long as you’re COVID negative, you’re allowed in. To be honest, we’re rethinking where we’re going to live in the future.

12. I couldn’t attend any ultrasounds (though we switched to a new hospital that let me in) and was not allowed to be present for the birth of a kiddo, or the following few days of observation.

    But it’s fair enough, there are vulnerable people around who the disease can kill. Covid sucks.

13. The worst is Tokyo maternity clinics that won’t let you visit for the pregnancy…unless you pay through the nose for their bullshit upgrade package.

    Meanwhile other clinics outside the city are fine with it, even at the peak of covid 2 years ago.

14. You have my sympathy.

    But please don’t take it out on staff. I hear many stories of foreigners going ballistic at staff (for what they consider dumb rules) and that person is just doing their job

15. I doubt this will make you feel any better, but I had surgery in late June and it was the same situation at the hospital I was at. There’s usually a hospital store that has a variety of necessities and goodies if your wife can walk. If she can’t move, the staff might (mine openly offered) go shopping for you.

16. I would thank the hospital for keeping your wife as safe as they can; you surely don’t want her to catch COVID on top of what she goes through already. And then prepare a great “homecoming” celebration for her.

17. Somewhere out there, someone lost a loved one because a nameless visitor brought COVID into a previously COVID-free hospital ward.

    It sucks, but the rules exist for a reason. Suck it up, OP.

18. Tbh, depending on the hospital, many hospitals abroad are pretty strict too. My mom inpatient for a few weeks after a big surgery, and while they did allow my dad to visit, he had to wear scrubs, gloves, N99 mask, etc. The hospital had EXTREMELY strict rules for managing Covid and all the staff there (not in Japan) followed all the protocols to a T too. There are some jobs where you just have to follow all the rules exactly, no matter the country, and medical related things fall under that category. The hospital my mom was in hadn’t had a single transmission of Covid within the hospital throughout the entire pandemic.

19. > I think its a joke that it’s been three years and me having had 3 vaccinations and proof of that I can’t visit my wife in hospital not even for 1 minute.

    Being vaccinated doesn’t prevent you from _carrying_ the virus. I know it sucks for your wife, but if I were you, I’d be happy that they’re actually taking steps to guard the health of patients rather than letting any old yahoo into the areas where people are trying to recover from surgeries and other procedures and illnesses.

20. That is unfortunate. When I gave birth here my husband wasn’t allowed to be there and I had to have an emergency c section. I laid in bed crying for 8 days bleeding in immense pain with little help from nurses and they wouldn’t let my husband see me or his newborn baby til we checked out 8 days later. A lot of people are suffering, you aren’t alone. It sucks but it is what it is.

21. Many countries had/have banned visitors due to C19, not a JP specific thing. You could potentially be a spreader, disastrous to have around immuno-suppressed people

22. I hope your wife doesn’t need that extra week and she can come home soon. I have an acquaintance whose elderly mother is in a care home in Tohoku and they haven’t been able to visit for nearly 3 years for the same reasons. Unfortunately video calls aren’t even an option as their mother doesn’t have a phone.

    It’s completely understandable why such institutions haven’t changed policies and everyone has that reassurance that their loved ones are not subject to further risk while there. But as you say, there is unfortunately ‘collateral’ damage to patients/residents who are not able to have face to face contact with their loved ones. I wonder are the rules the same for children in hospitals?

23. The hospital would have already told you no visitors allowed beforehand.
    That was my case,they explained before admissions.
    I could only bring belongings and pass It to the nurse.

24. Makes perfect sense to me, what can I tell you…?
    It sucks? Sure, a lot, but the situation is what it is.

25. There will always be things that do your head in anywhere. That’s life.

    Please let me know if you find the perfect place though, I’m all ears 😁

26. I was in the hospital a lot this past year going through chemo therapy for cancer. I had a very weak immune system, which was stressful during a pandemic. I was very thankful the hospital did not allow visitors. Could have spread so easily there and been a real disaster. Sorry, but you’ve just got to accept it. I know it’s hard, but I hope she is doing OK. Wish her the best.

27. My wife had a pretty intense pregnancy and birth and I couldn’t see her for almost 2 months, and couldn’t meet the babies until almost a week after birth. Pretty intense and strict but everyone’s healthy so that’s cool.

    On the other hand, an older friend put her disabled husband into a home for a couple of days over a weekend (trip or something) and he contracted something (not COVID) and will most likely die in short order. It was a direct result of them being too lax and now she regrets it bigtime.

    I was pretty bummed about the whole not being able to see my wife for a while thing, but now I’m thinking erring in the safe side makes sense…

28. I understand why hospitals are being strict but I sympathize with you and your wife.

    I gave birth in summer 2020–every doctors appointment, then the actual birth, and the required stay after was done without my husband, and it was extremely lonely and I cried every day. I begged the doctors and nurses to let me leave early for my mental health. They finally gave in, and I left at 5.5 days instead of the required 8–maybe to shut me up.

    I hope beyond anything that I don’t require hospitalization suddenly while COVID is still around.

    My best to you and your wife. FaceTime and do what you can until you’re reunited.

29. How about a video chat with your wife?

30. Depends on the hospital:

    -March 2021 I had surgery, five weeks in hospital, no visitors whatsoever.
    -December 2021 my wife had surgery, I was allowed to visit once a day in her room, etc.

31. You’re lucky that you can call her. I stayed in a hospital earlier this year that didn’t allow patients to call anyone.

32. You are overblowing a particular policy and generalizing it to an entire population. Not cool.

    >They don’t like winging it and the follow rules to the ‘T’. They will never stray from what the procedure says.

    This is very much not true universally.