That’s , was talking with some foreign friends who also have kids and they told me that after kids born they don’t sleep with their wife anymore (Asian wife), wife and kids together, father in another room…
I have a kid and i sleep with my wife (Asian), for me sleeping separately is a big no in a relationship/married couple.
So, how about you guys? Sleep together ? Do you feel normal sleeping in separate beds or room?
Btw my parents just celebrate 50 years married , 50 years sleeping together 😂
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I thought it was normal once the kid comes the wife moves to another room…in Nihon./ shrugs
Must….not…….comm…ennt…aaaggghhh
Huge bed with four people sleeping in it. We most often have a child between us.
We have been thinking to invest in a bunk bed for the kids. Problem right now is just where we put it as our house is a little small with few walls long enough.
We sleep together with the baby in her crib in the same room.
Some of my foreigner friends here said they slept separately after the baby was born because they had to work so wanted to avoid all the waking up at night. To be fair, I don’t have a spare room and might have appreciated that option if it were available this last year.
Don’t have kids. We sleep separately about half the time (by mutual agreement) as our schedules are different and it’s easier to sleep with more space to yourself.
Do people with husbands count?
We do not sleep in the same room. We’re sleeping. We don’t need to be in the same room. Same room is ok. I need a different bed. He’s a clinger. When we were dating I would wait for him to fall asleep and roll quietly onto the floor and sleep there. If it makes you feel better he’s lying right here beside me now.
Neither my parents nor grandparents slept in the same bed or room half-way through their long and happy marriages. Yet my Japanese in-laws do. I’d say it’s wasted on them if you know what I mean.
I feel completely ‘normal’.
2 kids, always slept with my wife.
Older one is sleeping in her room, 2nd (still a baby) sleeping in our room in a baby bed.
Before we moved to our current home where we have enough space for a kid room, our older one (2nd wasn’t born yet) was sleeping in our room but on a separate mattress.
We’re all in the same room. Baby in crib. Husband in his own futon. I share my futon with my toddler.
Japanese husband, no kids. We sleep separately due to different schedules(LITERALLY opposite). At first it was surprising but now I LOVE it. I really like having my own personal space to think and enjoy hobbies. We sleep in one bed occasionally, but not often. It’s a really nice way to have a personal relaxation area.
This is very individual. My husband and I often slept separate pre-kids simply due to his snoring, and the fact that I’m a light sleeper and we disagree on the number of alarms required to wake up in the morning, and how long it is acceptable to let them ring for. So having a baby didn’t change our sleep arrangement.
If it bothers you, sit down with your wife and have a conversation about it. If she wants to cosleep with the kids then the easiest solution is for you to sleep all together in the same room.
Sleeping arrangements don’t make or break a relationship. A lack of communication absolutely will over time.
I’m a British woman married to a Japanese man and we have always slept together, even after our son was born. The only time we didn’t was when our son was being fussy and one of us had to sleep on a futon beside him, but we were always in the same room. That doesn’t seem to be the norm here but it works for us.
I don’t have children yet, but when I do, the child will be sleeping separately, not me.
And not separately as in their own bed – they will have their own room.
I feel it’s common for both parents to sleep together with the kids. There could be a disconnect where for some reason you indicated you didn’t want to sleep with the kids, and your wife feels she wants to sleep with the kids, so now you’re sleeping separately. Have you asked her if she wants you to join her sleeping with the kids? Like I said, that seems to be the most common arrangement.
Spooning for years.
This is one of those cultural shifts brought on by television, magazines and novels. Until the 50’s most married couples slept in separate rooms or beds except on *special* occasions. Then media portrayed that healthy couples always slept in the same bed, so for many years it became perceived as the norm. While my info comes from US, specifically in Japan although couples share the same room they had separate futons. So either way is good.
Married, one kid. Always slept together. As a baby, she slept in a crib in our room. After about a year she moved to her own room. But we lived in the US together for a long time so my Japanese SO is fairly Americanized.
I sleep seperately to my wife and daughter, because I goto bed around midnight-1am and wake up for work at 630
We slept together until my wife couldn’t handle my alarm waking up my daughter anymore, because my daughter goes to kindergarten now, and if she wakes up like an hour early, shes in a god awful mood all day long.
And honestly, I prefer sleeping in separate rooms because I don’t have to move around like a fucking mouse all the time.
I sleep wherever the Strong Zeros tell me to.
3 kids, all have own room and wife and I sleep in same bed. When kids were babies, crib in the room, and when they were little they would often sleep with us or come in in the middle of the night/early morning and come into bed with us.
We have one daughter and all sleep together. On lucky nights when we have sex (few times a month at most haha) we let our daughter sleep in the living room and move her to the bedroom once the 5 min intense romp is over. Either that or we do it in the kitchen. Sorry if this is TMI…I think there are many ways to do it. The western way where kids sleep in their own rooms is normalized where I come from but tbh I find it cozy that everybody sleeps together – until the kids get too big that is.
No kids but we sleep together with our cat in the middle. Kinda lame and cheesy but we hold hands until we fall asleep haha then our cats jumps on our faces
I cannot sleep well if I’m sleeping next to a person. We sleep separately and it works out great.
My parents have slept together for all 19 years of my life
We sleep together in a bed, with younger one in a crib in our room and the older one in his own bed in a separate room (although he falls asleep in our bed these days, so we have to move him over).
Why didn’t you word it “married with children”. 😞
Yes-non Japanese Asian wife. Still do. With a toddler between us. Intimate time when baby is napping outside in the play area or when we are both ‘wfh’
We still sleep together. Baby has his own room since he was 3 months old, I insisted on it. I really think it’s a bad habit to sleep with your kids. It’s a lot easier to get them used to sleeping alone from the start, than having to teach them later.
There are studies that say sleeping separately can be better for the relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in the same bed strictly for the image that you’re together is odd.
If you both are level headed and mature, it should be okay sleeping separate if it provides benefits for both of you.
Ie one person is a snorer. The other has restless legs. You get hot. You are happier well rested. Etc
Yes for the most part we do. Our son is only 5 but has transitioned to his own bed in the past year. There has been some life things that impacted this but from about 1 to 3 our son slept in his crib then with us for a couple years now in his own room on futon though he has his own new bed to use as well.
Sometimes our son comes into our bedroom to sleep with us like any other kid his age. Sometimes I have middle of the night meetings to attend so I nap on the couch a couple nights a month but in general we sleep together with our son in his own room
Kids and wife sleep in the main bedroom, I sleep in another bedroom. When the kids are a bit older and move into their own rooms, then I will move back into the main bedroom.
We sleep together, with newborn in a crib next to the bed and toddler in the next room with sliding doors open.
Don’t see any reason why we would sleep separately tbh.
Its funny that my dad always told me how hard he tried to kick me out of my parent room when I was just a toddler. Mom didnt agree at first, but after lots of effort my dad finally kicked me out lol. After nearly 30 years with 3 kids, my parent (non Japanese Asian but grew up in the US) still sleep together until now.
Yes