Even though it’s certainly not limited to Japan, I often hear that sex (or rather the lack of it) becomes a big issue in marriages which consist of at least one Japanese partner. Some acquaintances (both Japanese and non-Japanese) have complained that they are “sex-starved” or that “sex is non-existent” after marriage or a few years into marriage.
IMO, I think it’s extremely unhealthy and also cruel in a way to the other partner. Of course, I understand that with certain physical or mental conditions – regular sex isn’t possible. However, to take sex out of the equation altogether seems like a very hard pill to swallow.
In my case (35M) married to my Japanese wife (37F) with two young kids, we can enjoy a session 1-2 times a week.
I know the topic can be sensitive, so thanks in advance for reading and for your input. Hope you’re all having a great weekend!
18 comments
As everywhere, it depends on a couple and their sex drive. Some people are completely happy to have it once a month.
Twice a month.
Or did you mean with my wife?
Twice a day.
I think whats most important is communication. Talk it out properly with ur partner
Hate to put it this way, but, shouldn’t you have this discussed and accepted upon….way…before marriage?
This has nothing to do with Japanese and everything to do with your partner.
/r/deadbedrooms
Every 2-3 months
Two times per week here on average
Sometimes one sometime 3 .
I think Tokyo lifestyle makes it difficult , house are smaller s and longer travel time for work means both are more tired.
We have more sex on average while in Singapore 🇸🇬
An oldie but a goodie:
https://www.stippy.com/japan-culture/is-japan-really-sexless/
Some things never change.
How old are your kids?
Married 3 years and we still do it several times a week. We’ve had a week here and there where we didn’t do anything but we do it quite often
Once every 3 months 😂
Before we got married, the wife agreed that I was free to get pussy on the side if we ever became a sexless marriage. Even after two kids, I still haven’t had to go that route yet.
It depends – sometimes we’ll go weeks without it because neither of us are particularly in the mood. Instead I’ll settle for a hand job once a week to empty the pipes so to speak. And sometimes we’ll do it two-three times in the space of a week and then nothing for a while. So we don’t really have a consistent schedule if you like. I’m lucky in that I still find my wife attractive (we’re both mid 40s) and she still makes an effort. I do feel for those who wives don’t put out though – to me that is an important part of being married.
Before I gave birth we were having sex at least every second day. But after birth changed that. Women’s bodies do change and go through a lot in that process. Our sex life went almost a full 180 and a lot of the reasons were beyond my control. My kid was a terrible sleeper waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours every night for almost a year and a half. I was suffering from sleep deprivation and was exhausted everyday. I exclusively breastfed which changed my hormones so it was difficult to get aroused like I used to which made sex painful at times. Speaking of pain my birth was slightly traumatic with an episiotomy with plenty of stitches and sometimes still feel uncomfortable down there to this day. Let’s address that women here are more often ignored when it comes to pain down there in healthcare. This is my experience. Some women just bounce back 6 weeks after giving birth and get in the groove again. This was nothing personal against my husband. You can still have intimacy without sexual penetration. No sex is better than terrible sex. Now we are having sex more as things got better maybe about once every fortnight but that first year and a bit sex was almost non-existent but with communication, my husband was ok for that. This is not a Japan exclusive thing either as my experience with other forums with women describing their sex life after having kids is that nothing goes back the same as it used to.
Though I feel like every time this topic is brought up, the majority if not all of the blame is put on the women. Almost nothing is mentioned about what men are or aren’t doing like helping out with childcare and chores so wife is less exhausted. Because let’s talk about those crazy J-women amirite?
Everyone is different. I’m married with one kid so far and we still have fun whenever we want, which is usually every other night basically. Sometimes we’re both too exhausted from work and child stuff and go weeks without. That’s ok. If sex is a big part of your relationship, and even if it isn’t, it’s best to talk with your partner/spouse about it, because marriage and children def have the potential to change things. Especially children when women’s bodies and minds can change, and even men’s minds.
My wife has told me some of her Japanese friends are “sexless” after having a kid, and that the husband “sees them as a mom so they’re not sexy”. Yet most of those friends are now pregnant again lol.
I have no idea about other members here, but my wife and I go at maybe 4 times a week, been married over 8 years. Got plenty of kids as a result haha.
What phase of the moon are we currently on?