Hey everyone! I moved to Japan for work in April and while I love a lot of it, it has been quite difficult for me to settle in. I was in a long distance relationship that ended and my work is pretty much work from home 100% of the time.
I’ve heard many people have gone through similar transitions and I was wondering how you may have occupied yourself outside and in work to lift your mood and better your experience in Japan.
So far, I have joined a boxing gym, volleyball club, and play badminton on the weekends however I’m alone 80-90% of the time and find it quite difficult. Any suggestions would help!
4 comments
Welcome!
You’re off to a great start. Hobbies and shared interests are the best ways to find likeminded people, and they provide the opportunities to regularly meet and turn those meetings into longer relationships.
Rebuilding your social life from scratch as an adult is hard. Don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong if you find yourself lonely – moving to another country is guaranteed to be lonely at first. It takes a long time as well as the luck to find the right people in the right places and build up friendships. You can boost your chances by being outgoing and proactive – accept all the invitations you can, and start inviting people to things once you have enough of a social base and know where you might want to go.
Also I’d recommend finding a bar or izakaya you’d like to frequent, as going to meet the regulars is a quick fix to thinking “I would like to not be alone tonight.”
I have made some amazing, treasured friendships here. It takes a lot of effort, but absolutely pays off. Good luck.
In order to make friends here, unless you’re already an extrovert you’re gonna have to up you extroversion.
Meaning you’re gonna have to put effort into meeting and making new friends and sustaining them until its probably organic.
Unfortunately it is just how it is here since you don’t have an environment conducive to friend making
I agree with the above. I would also recommend meet-up groups. There is an app, and Facebook has groups too. If you live near a large city, there are probably groups that get together. Even in smaller towns, you might be able to find an AJet or language- exchange group. You usually don’t have to be a JET teacher to join, as they’re unofficial. It can be a great way to meet new people and connect with other foreigners. Even in Okayama, I was able to make a few friends. Go to city hall and see if there are groups. If you are into sports, see if there is a local team. Sometimes there are people who get together and play for fun. I had a co-worker who played soccer. They were able to make friends by joining a team. If there local events like festivals or fireworks, try to go. It took me a while to find good friends here, but it’s possible.
>I have joined a boxing gym, volleyball club, and play badminton on the weekends
Well, you’re involved in significantly more social activities than I am, and I’ve been here 9 years. How do you have time for all that?