I’m an American who’s living here for a year. Japan obviously is super friendly in the (建前 sense) and amazing it’s a great place, but there’s this underlying feeling of unease whenever I’m outside my room. Like I don’t belong here. I worked hard for years to get my Japanese to this level (studying for N2) and I can communicate quite well.
However, upon stepping outside every morning I feel uneasy. When I bike to school, many of the people around glance and some just straight up stare at me. I’m not fat or have weird hair, or wear weird clothes, but they still stare. A week ago I was at a crosswalk and I heard this guy mutter gaijin and something else. Some guys stopped their conversation when I walked by and looked back at me. I can’t stand it. It’s like I walk into a meeting I wasn’t invited to, EVERY DAY. And I’m in TOKYO, not in a rural place with less foreigners. My classmates and people in my club aren’t much better. It’s like they don’t know how to interact with me as a peer, and treat me as if I’m a pet. They all yell すごい when I answer them in coherent Japanese. First few weeks it was fine, whatever, but it’s gotten to the point where I just want to yell at them “Treat me normally”
I’m in the school sitting in the same desks, I wear the same kendogi as everyone else at my club, I ride the same bike as everyone else, eat the same food, and I’m somehow seen as separate. If I looked Asian they wouldn’t treat me this way, guaranteed. But I’m not Asian, I’m white.
How do I blend in? I’ve thought of getting a more typical Japanese haircut and dying my hair black. Or wearing my glasses instead of contacts to take the focus off my western eyes. I don’t know. I don’t want to change who I am, but I do want to feel welcomed in my town/school. I know a lot of this is in my head but the point is a lot of it isn’t in my head.
7 comments
Oh child you’re never going to be Japanese. Don’t even try you’re embarrassing yourself.
Don’t blend in. Just do your own thing.
You won’t blend in.
Hat, sunglasses, and mask?
> western looking
> young
> coherent Japanese
The fact of the matter is, you are rare in this country. If I saw a purple giraffe I would stare at it too and say ‘sugooii’
You are going to need to come to terms with the fact that you stick out.
Also, drill it in to yourself that being noticed doesn’t automatically mean being unwelcome. They are completely different things.
Realistically most western looking people in this country couldn’t find their arse with both hands so being surprised by you is (statistically speaking) not incorrect. Get to know people for a few years and it will smooth out.
> I know a lot of this is in my head but the point is a lot of it isn’t in my head.
I think more of it is in your head than you realize…
The short answer is: you won’t. I get it’s annoying, I truly do, but try to just let it go and enjoy your year, most people don’t mean harm and are just a little ignorant.