I’ve been living here for well over 3 years. Everyone of my Japanese friends introduced themselves by using their family names. My Japanese coursemates refer to each other with their family names too.
I asked this person I see regularly (but seldom talk to) for his name since we always acknowledge each others presence. He gave me his full name and asked me to call him by his given name.
I’ve always been told that you only refer to someone by their given names if you are family members, lovers or super close friends. Or am I missing something? Does he feel close to me if he wants me to refer to him by his given name? Kinda dont want to make a cultural feux pas.
14 comments
If he asked you to call him by his first name it could mean he just prefers it in general or that yes he feels friendly with you. I would use the name he asked me to personally, but if you feel like that’s jumping a personal boundary you have then it’s really up to you to decide.
When you’re at Costco
He asked you to call him by his first name. Don’t read too much into it, but by all means call him by it.
Call anyone by whatever name you want unless it’s a superior.
Just call them what they say to call them if they do. Don’t look too much into it, everyone has preferences. I always just forget their name until someone else says it then I use that. I do this in every country including home country. Never fails.
He just wants you to call him by his given name, as simple as that.
Like so many things in Japan it depends on the context.
Even at work we have people who we refer to by their first names and others even in the same team by their last names. This is regardless of the language we use (we sometimes speak Japanese, sometimes English depending on who’s in the meeting).
To play it safe, just go with what they tell you they want to be called.
It really depends, at my local bar everyone (including Japanese people talking to each other) introduces themselves by their given name and calls each other that name,, even if we met each other 5 minutes ago. At work (keeping in mind this is the Japanese office of an American company), if we’re speaking English it’s always first name, in Japanese it’s more situational, like if it’s 2 Japanese people and one’s the manager / other is individual contributor, they are probably going to use keigo. If it’s like 2 ICs and one of them is a non-native Japanese speaker then lots of “Takeshi-san” and “John-san” thrown around.
When you’re at the hub
Almost everyone I meet out drinking introduces themselves with their given name. Even when they are coworkers of friends – which leads to a strange situation that the two of us refer to the same person with different names.
It depends. Back in uni we had two Yamamoto’s (and they were good friends with each other too) and we’d call them by their first name to distinguish between the two. Similarly, at my workplace we have four Sato’s, and we’d also call them by their first name, or full name in a more formal situation.
Also, if you happen to be American, some of them know that you call friends by the first name, so maybe they did that to show their friendliness or to let you feel more ‘at home’.
It’s changing, still depends on the person, and there is a pretty big gender gap. Women are more likely to be called by their first names in pretty much every context.
During sex, but only if you are least 80% sure you’re right.
After bumping uglies