my Japanese classmate is being abused and one is doing anything. How do I help?

I came to japan in December of 2021 and moved to a new school in April of 2022. I’m friends with many people in class but there are some people I don’t know well.

One of those people I don’t know super well is a classmate of mine. Let’s call him Riley. There are a couple of reasons why I am very worried for him.

1. Our mutual friend (let’s call her Lilly) is his best friend. The problem is, that mutual friend is a narcissist who looks down on others (I’ve mentioned Lilly in previous posts if you want to know the shit she does) including Riley. She brags about “teaching him lessons” or “punishing him” by using physical violence or by talking shit to him. She tells everyone his secrets (which are very dark and personal) while laughing. To sum it up, Riley is best friends with someone who abuses him.

2. If he doesn’t get 100点 on every test he does, he gets beaten by his parents at home which is horrible (I know this because Lilly told me). Therefore, he keeps a stash of test papers that he didn’t get 100点 on in his desk. The last time it was parents evening, he looked panicked and when I asked him if he was okay, he said he needed a place to hide that stash of tests. This is because our teacher looks through desks and bags before the parents come to school for some reason. I offered to hide it in my 給食袋 and he seemed relieved. The whole thing was concerning.

3. He always flinches when someone raises their hands near him. I think this is a result of Lilly and his parents abusing him. I am not too sure yet as I do not know him well but it is worrying. He also says sorry a lot, even when it is not his fault.

I know it isn’t my responsibility to look after his mental health but I want to help. Lilly even told me he has attempted suicide (she said it was okay because he lived on a second floor of an apartment and it wasn’t possible for someone to die from jumping from that height) but she is doing nothing to help. I don’t know why no one else is helping him and I’m stunned by the fact that teachers here aren’t even noticing.

I don’t want him to have such a tough life. Is there anything I could do to help? I’m socially awkward so I may not be the best at talking but I’m willing to do anything. Riley is a good person from what I know. He doesn’t deserve this horrible life he has. Japan isn’t doing a good job of acknowledging mental health issues.

2 comments
  1. Unfortunately, domestic abuse is a big problem in Japan that remains largely hidden. If you’re worried about his safety you should report the situation to a teacher or school administrator.

  2. I asked a Japanese girl about a mark she had. And what she told me literally left me speechless. Her ex boyfriend poured boiling water on her and beat her while she was pregnant and the baby died. He wasn’t arrested and all she had to say about it was, “it’s common in Japan.” Unfortunately, no one will do anything most likely.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like