My husband and I are thinking of moving to Japan within the next few years but we are wondering if it is the right choice.
For context, our interest in Japan/the Japanese language was something we bonded over during our first date. We both studied the language in college and share a similar interest in the arts/music/food/culture. So much so that we applied for ALT positions senior year/his first year out of college but we didn’t continue pursing it after I was denied and stayed in the states instead.
Fast forward 5 years. We have found ourselves in a new state with our first “real” adult jobs, and are now married!
There are reasons why we want to move and reasons why we want to stay and we just don’t know what’s the best choice.
The reasons we want to move:
– experience the culture (food/clothes/history/scenery/fashion)
– continue learning the language
– change of scenery (currently live in the US)
The reasons we are worried about moving:
– Possibly financially irresponsible? We make a little less than 80K combined and we’d likely go over with his job visa (still TBD) and me with a spousal visa. From what we’ve heard, I’d only be allowed to get a part time job with this visa so I won’t be able to add too much to the pot
– We want to settle down and have a kid. Our initial thought was have the baby in the US, use up our parental leave, then time it so we could move/raise the baby in Japan so they would grow up bilingual with me as the primary care taker
– For me personally I’m worried about being a woman in Japan in terms of sexual harrasent, which can be an issue for some women from what we’ve heard
Overall we still want to go but are worried the reasons holding us back outweigh our reasons for going.
11 comments
Have you been to Japan?
Sounds like you might want to take a vacation or two there first, then see how you feel about it.
Also, what is his job visa? If both of you are making 80k combined then I assume he doesn’t have a tech job, which is the easiest to get visa wise in Japan. Unless he works for a company that will transfer him, he might have a very hard time finding a job.
You should look into things a lot more regarding if it will even be possible for you guys to go. Visa will be the hardest uphill battle, not something you can bank on happening by any means, especially if it’s a general non-tech job. Japan is one of the toughest places in the world to emigrate to, simply because they make it so hard to get through. Also, one if you is going to want to know the language pretty well before you even apply. If he wants to get a non-tech job in there he’s going to have to know the language to be considered…
> For me personally I’m worried about being a woman in Japan in terms of sexual harrasent, which can be an issue for some women from what we’ve heard
You likely will never run into this, FYI. The vast majority of people in Japan are far more prone to keeping to themselves, let alone with an obvious foreigner.
The million dollar question is what sort of job would you or your husband get in Japan to support the family?
ALT jobs are in a race to the bottom regarding how little they can get away with paying their talent and how much they can squeeze out of their own overhead. It’s iffy at best that an ALT position would allow sponsorship of one dependant (a spouse) let alone two (dependant and child). So you or your husband will be needing to look for something at a more professional level.
Your husband’s experience as a community manager is not likely to translate well to the Japanese domestic workforce. They’d want someone at native level who can interact with the domestic community. I’m sure his current employer is banging the drum about fully remote work, but I guarantee you there are restrictions on how remote you’re allowed to be. They’d need to officially relocate him to a branch in Japan in order to sponsor the visa anyway.
Language skills are important, they’ll help open doors for you. Keep studying while you look for opportunities. Good luck!
Are you thinking of staying for a few years or permanently? It’s a little had to tell from your post since you’ve never been to Japan but are thinking of raising your child there? If you’re not working/only part time, your kid will probably not get into any sort of childcare until at least 3 years old, so you’ll have some time before you can “raise them bilingual.” (As they won’t get much Japanese input at home, I assume).
Also, remember that there are hardships in regards to raising a kid in your nonnative language. I recently had to take my toddler to the doctor for a possible concussion. I’m relatively fluent and I was still so worried and nervous that I was not understanding things correctly. Medical stuff, school problems, issues with the ward office over child-raising benefits, etc. These are all things you’ll have to navigate.
As discussed by others, the key will be what sort of job(s) you have in Japan. In some ways it’s the same as any other move then— you get a job offer and then crunch the number to see whether it is feasible or not.
Yes, as a dependent you’d only be allowed 28 hours of work a week, and if you’re restricting yourself to English-only jobs AND caring for a child you’ll find it even harder to find something that fits your requirements.
As a woman I wouldn’t worry about the sexual harassment. I’ve never been sexually harassed here— I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’ve experienced much worse in the US.
Some good responses here. One thing to consider is housing. It would be best to have a job offer that comes with some kind of housing assistance. A lot of Japanese landlords aren’t willing to mess with gaijin renters (there are SOME valid reasons, but that’s a whole discussion by itself) so it’s possible to end up in a gaijin ghetto (which is not as bad as it sounds.) Also, look up “key money”.
Everyone’s situation is different, but if you can make the numbers work, I say it’s worth the gamble. You’re young and if you find it’s not for you, you can always leave and choose another path.
Covid aside, it’s never been easier to be a foreigner in Japan. I’d move back if I didn’t have retirement on the far horizon.
The hardest part is the job hunt.
Few Japanese companies will want to hire directly from overseas unless your husband has a skill that company really needs – unfortunately, community manager is not an immediate need. EDIT: That’s not to say that you can’t get that kind of job – it’ll just be tough to find it. And while you may have studied the language, using it in the workplace is totally different.
In terms of foreign talent, developers, ALTs, healthcare/aged care are what Japan is looking for.
The pay from ALT jobs will not be enough to start a family. Just as a rough illustration, the monthly pay is about 220,000yen before deductions. Rent for a fairly new 2LDK in Adachi, Tokyo is about half that. Truth is the ALT industry is a race to the bottom and the instructors are the ones that will lose the most – I know because I did it for a year.
Speaking of housing, see if you can get a job that provides housing at least until you can get settled in and then look for your own place. Be careful of move-in/out costs though.
I’d say do the research.
My husband and I are also trying to find ways to move there. I applied to JET on my own and made it through as an alternate but due to pandemic hitting, never got a placement. We are now thinking of applying together for a better chance. It’s tough but we did a lot of research since we have a cat that we don’t want to part with. So we looked into how much it would be getting our own place and the process. We also looked at what would happen if only one of us got through. And looked at what would happen if I were to find a job that sponsors (I’m very good at planning and looking ahead).
As for safety in Japan, I felt super safe being there. I walked around at night and took trains without any worry. Japan is slowly trying to implement things to help like how all first and last transportation is for women only.
Maybe try for JET again? I know some alum that had babies while there. I’ve helped a lot get placement by having them rework their essays and applications as well.
Edit: Dam, glad I’m not part of this community. Y’all are haters to those wanting to follow their passion and dreams. So many downvotes in one post.
I’d seriously reconsider potentially raising your child in Japan until you’ve had adequate experience with the country to determine if it would be good for them or not. Don’t bring them here for the sake of bringing them here, as in most places in the US they will get a better public education. With your combined salary you likely won’t be able to afford an international school.
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If you or your husband are passionate about your jobs in the US then stick with them and travel to Japan instead (when things open up). If you both aren’t passionate about your jobs and looking for something new in life then you can consider Japan as an option.
I agree with the other comment about holding off on having kids until you are in a stable place in Japan. You should make sure you can navigate living in Japan (overcoming language barriers especially with doctors or schools), you have enough money to support a family and you are committed to staying in Japan. I would consider 2 years at a minimum because your first year everything can wonderful (or in some cases awful). If you’re not willing to put off on having children then maybe think twice about moving (or consider a long vacation when things open up).
ALT work does not pay much and it will be difficult for you to live on one salary (although it is possible if you live cheaply or if a portion of housing costs are covered, but they might not help with housing for two). If you both return to the US it might be difficult to find work. In Japan, it doesn’t seem like either of you have experience in fields that are in demand in Japan and would need to be fluent in Japanese to work in those fields.
I agree with the other comments about sexual harassment and sexism in Japan. I was more worried about it beforehand, but have not had any major issues. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen because it does. In the US I’ve had more sexual harassment, in Japan I have heard about more sexism (even though I personally haven’t experienced it as much).
As for learning Japanese…there are many foreigners who move to Japan who don’t learn Japanese or stop learning at a certain point. It doesn’t matter if you are in Japan or somewhere else it takes a lot of time and effort to learn Japanese. Of course it helps to be exposed to it more, but once you learn all the day-to-day words the learning is slow unless you can hold good conversations in Japanese and make friends. A lot of people think they have to move to Japan in order to become fluent, but these days there’s a lot of options to watch and read things in Japanese or have online conversations in Japanese.
Unfortunately this is a tough choice for you. On the one side if it’s something you both have always wanted to do then it can be a once in a lifetime event. However you have to consider what you will be giving up or might need to hold off on in order to do it. Like you said, you need to weigh the pros and cons. I would say that for me living in Japan is about the same as living in the US. Each country has their own pros and cons. However I work in tech and my husband works in marketing. My husband is also fluent in speaking Japanese. For us moving to Japan ended up being a lateral move (although since I’m not fluent in Japanese I took a step down in terms of pay and my husband took a step up). I’m glad we are living in Japan, but living here makes Japan become normal and we realized all the things we miss in the US.
I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose.