My company will be moving me to Japan next year to work in their cloud engineering branch, and I will be bringing with me my wife and my son, who will be 4 years old. Our plan is to eventually become naturalized in Japan. I am a tall guy, 6’2, and my son so far is 99th height percentile for American children, so he also will be large even for American standards, and will very much stand out.
One of the concerns my wife has had is him being bullied for being different looking, tall, and initially unable to speak the language. While we are trying to teach him some Japanese now, he goes to school with English speaking friends.
One of my coworkers who moved to America from Japan 10 years ago when he was 20, and has said that “gaijin” bullying was a thing when he was a teen. I know my son will grasp the language no problem a year or so in once he begins Japanese school. I just want to know ahead of time if bullying of foreigners is a thing in schools there, or if the culture there is more anti-bully and inclusive these days?
14 comments
Depends entirely on the part of Japan you’ll be staying.
Bigger cities like Tokyo, Osaka, etc… will probably be more accepting, but even then its the luck of the draw on the school.
Overall, an unfortunate reality is that your concerns are very valid, and there is probability of bullying based on the fact he’s a foreigner.
However, I personally wouldn’t let this hold you back, as theres every chance it could be perfectly fine. If not? Tackle it as/when any situation occurs.
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HS student here. I don’t live in the city area, but more of a suburban sort of area.
I don’t think your son will get bullied physically, esp if you’re saying that he’s big and tall. But for the bullying in general it will depend on the school you go to: big or small, (like another post said) location of the school, and just the students themselves.
You can’t really predict these things, but at least for now, from my experience, foreigners are more of an amazement than a target of bullying, as long as your son doesn’t go out of his way to be “rude” or “unlikeable”, there won’t be any sort of bullying.
I encourage you to send him to an international school where he can continue to study in English and study Japanese as an elective.
My child is still in yochien (kindergarten— 3-5 years old) and she’s visibly foreign and arrived with no Japanese language skills 3 months ago. Our school has zero support for foreign kids, but she’s had a great transition! She’s made lots of friends, performed in her first recital, and can confidently recite the school rules for traffic safety in Japanese (hahah)!
Arriving at a young age like 4 seems to be ideal as they pick up the language quickly and won’t be very far behind their peers. A lot of play is just pointing and whatnot at that age anyway!
From my understanding, bullying becomes more of an issue at the middle school age, and that is also when it seems many internationally-minded foreign parents switch to international schools (if they can afford it). In part because if your child wants to go to college outside of the Japanese system, an (accredited, reputable) international school will better prepare them for that. International school is very expensive, but it sounds like you’re on a healthy “expat package.”
There’s a pretty active “Parents of Children in Japanese Schools” FB group where you can read stories of bullying though and what parents have done to address those situations— everything from talking to school administrators to changing schools.
> Our plan is to eventually become naturalized in Japan.
Why?
An intentional school like ASIJ could be the right answer for your child. ASIJ is a great hybrid of Western style education in English, strong modern curricula, STEM options, and Japanese language classes incorporated in the K-12 progression.
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The kid is absolutely going to slay
When you say Norwegian-American, what exactly do you mean? Did he grow up in Norway or the US? Because if it’s the latter it will be easier for him. As a non-American gaijin, I was shocked at how Americanised the perception of foreigners here is. Japanese people are more aware of American culture/pop culture than European. He will be popular at school if he is American. Also, if he speaks Norwegian already his brained will be primed for adapting to another language more quickly.
Unless you or your wife is a POC, then just say white. It’s bizarre to me that you’re looking to get naturalized in Japan yet haven’t lived there before. I’ll bet everything you chose not to naturalize once you actually figure out what’s going down on the ground. And to answer your question, yes foreign kids are bullied at a higher rate but it depends on the school and other factors. I’ve known people move out of Japan to get away from bullying and the racism. But I also know folks that are happy. Either way, you’ve got a shit load of research to do mate.
Seconding the concerns over your plan to naturalize. Why? Don’t commit to something like that unless you’re;
– Very sure that you enjoy living in Japan
– Understand the consequences of naturalizing, such as renouncing your original citizenship.
Your kid is actually the least concerning aspect of your plan.
If you’re coming on an expat package that’s fine, you will find plenty of support — for American English. Other commenters have left good advice on that.
Norwegian will be tough though: there’s not a large community and if you (or your wife?) are the only one speaking the third language to him when you also speak the second language, it will be tough to give enough exposure for them to really pick it up.
You should contact the Norwegian embassy to see what sort of school programs or cultural events they host. NRK is readily accessible by VPN including some childrens’ programming so that will be another avenue you could use for content. But you will need to make a concerted effort to provide that important early-childhood exposure.
japanese teens are also becoming taller, if your son will also be 6’2 theres a chance that he wont even be the biggest kid in his class so dont worry abut that