Came to Japan as a student and currently have no friends but only acquaintance.
Currently sharing a same interest with a group of people via school club (サークル). And we have regular practice session & Izakaya afterparty. People are nice but feeling that they are not interested to befriend with. Would have some greetings and maybe brief talks but it’s really hard to launch a friend-level conversation. It feels like that they’re just acquaintances.
Feeling super lonely right now & social events doesn’t help.
知り合いはいるけど友達はいません。
4 comments
Yeah totally understand your situation. I still hangout with my friends from my home country who happen to be working in Japan too.
How long have you been here and how long are you going to stay?
No offence, but I don’t like getting too close to people who are only going to be here a year or 2. It hurts every time they leave.
If it makes you feel better, I’ve been here for 20 years and my friends are almost all non-Japanese. I have a Japanese “friend” who used to work with me, but I rarely see her now that we are in separate companies (occasional LINE convos). I have my wife’s friends, but they are her friends at the end of the day.
I do like my light conversations around town. My wife and child think it is ridiculous that I speak with “strangers” but I actually find a lot of people are very friendly and I know more about my neighborhood than my family. That’s not exactly friendship but it is community oriented I guess.
Also if it helps, check out any expat thread and you’ll see that expats in various countries find it hard to make friends. It’s common. I would say for you to make closer friendships you’ll probably need to speak Japanese very, very well.
Just wait until you don’t have acquaintances either and you start to live for those dopamine hits you get from your cellphone.