It seems whenever I go out with my baby some elderly stranger will approach, saying “kawaii” and trying to touch my baby’s arms or legs without warning. I find this invasive, and I’ve sharply rebuked a few people not to touch him. This would be an absolute no-go in my home country. Why do people do this without even asking?
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Elderly people everywhere love babies. You aren’t in your home country now, so find a kinder, gentler way to deal with the elderly when they want to admire your baby.
I can’t speak exactly because I’m not Japanese but in Korea for example, there’s that sense of community/trust/we all one big family and especially elderly people are supposed to be respected and therefore also seen as safe. Obviously not universal rule. It’s not too uncommon for elderly grandmas or grandpas to say “omg your baby is so cute” and give like a little head pat or something.
I’m not saying you’re wrong (your child, and better to be safe than sorry, and totally understandable you don’t want strangers touching your baby), but also I think it’s important to realize the cultural difference. The elderly strangers don’t mean any harm when esp for them it’s the norm, so I think “sharply rebuking” ca be quite rude.
I would advise to politely say not to touch them, or as this can be seen as kinda rude regardless, in a roundabout way say like “oh the baby is tired” or sick or not feeling well etc.
tl;dr culture diff
>Why do people do this without even asking?
Cultural differences. What’s common sense for you may not be the case for others.
Maybe my kid is ugly, because this never happened to me….
> This would be an absolute no-go in my home country.
You say that but [it still happens](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wph9kt/aita_for_telling_an_elderly_man_not_to_touch_my/). It’s not a “Japan” thing but a subset of inconsiderate old people thing.
If you decided to pop out a child here I’m going to assume you’re familiar with what elderly people are like in Japan. They are harmless when not behind the wheel or making government policies.
Many of them are quite honestly living in the past. Many see a different Japan than young people. Give them a break will you. God forbid someone have a conversation with a stranger anymore. If the person wasn’t a senior I think it would be weird honestly, but elderly people have so little to look forward to and many are incredibly lonely. Don’t forget that one day we too may suffer the same fate.
This really ticks me off too. It’s only old people that seem to do it. I get it, he’s cute, but keep your hands to yourself. If I see a cute woman walking by, I’m also not going to suddenly reach out to touch her, saying “かわいい”
People do this everywhere, not just in Japan.
That being said, my friend tried to hand me his baby the first time I met him after he was born. He automatically assumed I wanted to hold it. I didn’t, babies are gross. 😬
There was that crime a few years back where a person broke a babies legs or something when they held a strangers baby, no? Something like that…
> This would be an absolute no-go in my home country.
Let me tell you a secret, you are not in your home country. Yes, I was shocked at first, but apparently different countries have different norms.
Elderly everywhere are like that. They have don’t remember or don’t have a clue how little babies have no immune system and simple viruses can make them very sick especially premature babies. Screw the weebs here saying it’s cultural differences (it’s not) and you should expect people touching your baby. I wouldn’t risk your baby getting hospitalized from a high fever over some elderly person’s feelings. Politely refuse by saying baby’s too sick or too sleepy for example. You can use a rain cover over your stroller or a cover on your carrier to keep hands out.
There was an “article” (article in quotes since its a repost of SoraNews) about a women who made a “don’t touch my baby” badge for her stroller. Apparently it caused a bit of a stir.
https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/japanese-mom%E2%80%99s-don%E2%80%99t-touch-my-baby-stroller-sign-stirs-up-debate
One of my acquaintance mentioned slightly along the lines of during peak corona that she starts hugging the baby slightly if it’s out of carrying strap thing.
People don’t have adequate education here that there are actual different cultures out there and the thought of respecting them here is not a thing. So might be annoying if you look around before popping of the baby.
Also would get downvote for this but hey if you really dislike it you don’t have to force to acclimate to it. And try to work around it while not blatantly disrespecting them.
Edit: just use corona as an excuse like コロナの心配のためすみませんetc or stuff like alcohol disinfection might cause harm 子供の肌が敏感で…..
Edit 2: I’m dumb sorry if it’s stroller I don’t have any tips
Really? Then don’t go to Malaysia, Indonesia, or Singapore if this is an actual obstacle to your life.
Japan is mild in comparison.
ITT: People who obviously don’t have kids giving advice about cultural differences with kids.
Seriously. This is a country that values personal space. This is a country where a hand on a shoulder can lead to a sexual harassment complaint being lodged. And y’all being morons claiming that “oh it’s okay because culture”? What’s wrong with you people? If someone came up and touched your pregnant belly and asked “how far along are you?” you would not think that would be okay. If someone came up to you and ran their fingers through your hair and said “what lovely hair you have!” you would not be okay with it. Then why tf is it “oh it’s just cultural differences” when it comes to babies/kids? OP is 100% right and y’all are being ridiculous with your double-standards.