Just asking out of interest and for the sake of my own sanity.
I’ve heard the whole of “3 months salary” nonsense but that’s probably marketing smack created by the jewelry shops. Anyway I’m not going that high. I love her but she can fuck right off (in the most loving way).
So we initially went to Ginza and even the relatively unknown (ie not Tiffany, Cartier etc) were like upwards of 300,000 yen even for a less than 0.3c diamond ring.
She had her heart set on one for about 370,000 but I couldn’t shake the “whaaaaaaaaaaat” feeling.
I can afford it. That’s not the problem.
Anyway I looked online and it turns out you can get way bigger (at roughly the same quality) diamonds at places in Okachimachi. We went there together and hey presto, 360,000 for a ring almost identical in design to the one she liked in Ginza but the diamond is 0.5c (thankfully it does look visibly bigger).
So back to the question really:
(1) How much did you pay?
(2) How close is that amount to what she said she wanted?
(3) (optional) How much you pay as a multiple of your monthly take-home pay? (Feel free to skip Q1, no need to say your actual income if you don’t want to).
42 comments
Think it was like 150 aud at a pandorra shop when we were living in aus. Depends on the girl. Mine is not fussed with all the shit and didn’t want blood diamonds
Nothing not wearing rings. Just another expensive thing that goes missing at some point
Zero yen – decided with my wife to be that simple wedding bands are enough (made those ourselves too, in a jeweller’s atelier that provided such service).
Onion ring works best
I bought it on Etsy. Platinum + main stone is a moissanite + small diamonds all around. Beautiful crown design.
I think it was around 2000 dollars. She absolutely loves it. And yes, she knows it’s a moissanite.
[pic](https://ibb.co/9rBfnfW), [pic2](https://ibb.co/D5QcLkZ)
Old married guy here. You need to buy the girl a ring, just get the one she wants. In a few years you will forget the few thousand extra you spent, conversely she(and probably her family) will always remember you kinda cheaped out on the engagement ring. There will be plenty of time in the future to be “thrifty” Trust me when I say this should not be one of them.
I paid 600K for my wife’s ring about 1 months salary back then. My wife’s mother took me to Armani and told me to pick the suit I wanted for the wedding. This is Japan, what comes around goes around. Good luck.
1. 1M¥ and change at Boucheron
2. I don’t know, we did not discuss amounts, but we went shopping and she loved that one and I thought it fitted her way better than all the other cookie cutter shit we saw (Cartier in Ginza comes to mind)
3. a bit over 2 months take-home pay
On the plus side we had a small wedding with just her direct family which cost us south of 300.000¥ all included.
I’m fortunate that my wife likes simple, nature-themed stuff so I only paid like $100 at the time.
Bluenile or jamesallen. But add 10% for import into Japan.
1) About 10万
2) She was happy.
3) At the time it was maybe a 3rd of my monthly salary.
Our wedding rings we got custom made. ジュエリーの舞 in Roppongi did some nice platinum rings for us with engravings and together they cost less than the engagement ring. That might be an option for you for an engagement ring too. The jeweller is genuine and doesn’t charge out the nose. His prices are very reasonable.
We’ve been married for 8’years now and she never wears the engagement ring. I think she only wore it in the lead up to our wedding.
Yep, the salary thing is just marketing bullshit. Diamonds especially are a big scam, well documented. We went with one that was just plain silver, under 20,000yen. Also used the same ring for wedding, unconventional I know but screw convention.
Personally if my wife had insisted on an expensive ring that would be a red flag for me but obviously everyone is different, you do you.
edit: added the correct price
7,000 yen.
Around $1,300 from a custom online jeweler. It let me design something I knew she’d like, especially since she hates diamonds. She said I didn’t need to buy her one, so the answer to #2 is way over budget.
350k which was about half of my take home
salary at the time. I actually budgeted 500k, but I couldn’t see her wearing such a ring on a daily basis. The wedding bands themselves cost another 300k btw, and the wedding itself cost 50% more than what we initially had in mind
I took around 25 k (us) but she said no, so we don’t use . Instead of that she ask for a shelter dog . The dog now is 5 years and it is more expensive than the ring 😂 around 300 us monthly in a good month!
Plus I’m in charge of cleaning poop and pee … now that the dog is old she walk-pee everywhere.
Anyway, love the dog 🐩
200usd. if she cares too much about the ring and not the love behind it you are heading for a rough time.
If you don’t buy what she wants, she will make sure to remind you for the rest of your life. Doesn’t matter if you can find a better diamond with a better price. Give to the girl what the girl wants. You have already fucked up taking her to Ginza to select the ring. Now be a man and pay the price if you really want to marry her. This will be the least of your problems, don’t make your life a hell.
Married woman here. I think it’s really going to depend on the woman. Every woman, even Japanese women, have different preferences. Some will want a brand name ring, some will want an expensive ring, some will want something reasonable, some might not care about a ring, etc. However if she already told you the ring she wants and you can afford it, then I think she’ll only be disappointed if you don’t get it for her. Even if she accepts the proposal she might still ask for the ring she wanted or resent you for not getting it for her. If you feel the costs are a bit high or you’re saving money to buy a home, then can you talk to her about the costs of the ring she wants? Has she looked at cheaper rings? Is she normally the type of woman that likes things of a certain value? If she picks out a cheaper one it’s fine, but I wouldn’t get her a different ring on your own.
For me I’m a bit more frugal, so spending that much on a ring seems unnecessary(and the whole 3 months of salary rule), but I’ve known women that insisted on $10,000+ rings. Some women put the value of the ring as the value of your love or some have traditions of how much they expect a ring to costs. It’s hard to say if she’s being unreasonable or not without knowing her thoughts and your salary (it’s a lot different if it’s 2 months of your salary vs 1 week of your salary). In the end, if she picked it out and you want to marry her then I don’t think you have much of a choice. If you’re not really comfortable paying that much for a ring and she doesn’t see a problem with spending that much on a ring then you might need to learn about the values you both have about money.
Didn’t get an engagement ring, just picked out marriage rings (didn’t do a wedding either).
Paid 6万 for the pair. We went and picked them out together. She’s practical and didn’t really care about the price, just that they look nice.
Like 4,000 yen? We went to a jewelry making place and made them ourselves. Don’t wear it 99% of the time since I don’t like rings and when I’m at the gym it gets in the way. I do wear it on a necklace when I remember though
75 USD. My wife didn’t want something super expensive.
Me and my Japanese wife has been married for 3 years, we don’t even have wedding rings. It’s a waste of money, and we both decided the money is better spent on more important stuffs.
With this said, I did buy a ring when I proposed to her though. It was around 100,000 yen, a nice simple ring with a small rock.
My partner isn’t big on jewelry (lucky me) but I spent just under 30,000 yen on a simple but pretty diamond ring at Star Jewelry, Takashimaya department store.
She wears it with her wedding band on special occasions (friends weddings or wedding anniversary dinner) She appreciated it. It really depends on your partner I think.
It’s not about the ring – it’s the relationship.
Honestly, if someone insisted on a giant ring and a big wedding, they wouldn’t be right for me.
I took the gf to go shopping for the “ring” itself at Ginza and looked at literally every store.
Once she chose her favorite design, I bought the actual diamond online (bluenile) and got a much better deal in terms of both quality and price, then just had the store set the diamond and add engravings for us.
(1) Turned out to be less than half of what I’d expect to pay in-store for something similar.
(2) She didn’t care about the price, just the design.
(3) Less than 1 Month. Would’ve been 2+ months worth if I bought retail.
About 110,000, huge caveat being that she didn’t want an engagement ring with a big stone, just one combination engagement ring/wedding band that was simple that she could wear every day. It’s a thicker than average rose gold band with one small diamond.
We went to look at them together, and went to a few different places. I bought her exactly the one she wanted, and would have done the same if it was more expensive (within reason).
We ended up getting them from Tiffany, because even though there were similar rings from other places for a bit cheaper, the quality and design was noticeably better, especially on the mens ring (This isn’t to say you can find great stuff at no-name or independent places, this was just my specific experience at the places we looked at). Since both of our rings are pretty simple, the small details like shape and thickness were super important.
She waffled back and forth a bit on whether she’d be fine with a cheaper one, but I was pretty adamant that it doesn’t make sense to cheap out on something you’ll use every day for decades. Mine ended up being the more expensive of the two because its platinum and I’m a size 10 but she’s a 4.
I bought hers on my own to use to propose, then afterward we went back and bought mine together and got them both engraved.
My wallet is happy that I got off relatively easy, but like I said I would have went higher if it was what she wanted. As things are though, we’re both happy with our rings. I would have had no problem at all paying a full month’s salary, if I had to pick a number.
About 10,000 yen. A few years later, we made rings ourselves at a local jewelry maker’s shop. Excellent experience, do recommend similar.
Two of my friends bought each others Engagement MacBook and I keep thinking it is the best idea ever.
My wife hates rings. We didn’t even bother. Spent our money on motorcycles so we could drive around the country.
Costco of course, if you *really* need to buy one.
Not joking, check their website.
We agreed not to spend much money. We got silver rings for 5000 yen a piece and upgraded to platinum for the wedding rings since those’ll have to last another 60 years or thereabouts.
you could also suggest to go with moissanite instead of diamond. waayy less expensive and for the same sparkle as a diamond.
Look into lab grown diamonds. You can get one for about 25% of the price of a natural stone with the same 5C’s.
My husband and I both got married in our home country of Argentina before moving to Japan. Our engagement rings were 7,700JPY (390JPY in today’s exchange rate – only one of the many reasons I moved here), and our wedding rings were 52,000JPY (gold + white gold). The prices are for both rings. We’ve been together for over 10 years, we don’t make a fuss about money, we are very happy ♡
I never cared for diamonds or expensive stuff in general, I only wanted something that wouldn’t rust away in my finger. It is a symbol of the union and the love you swear to each other, nothing more. If one of us were to lose one, we’d a replacement as long as it wasn’t too expensive… Otherwise we can do without the ring. Spending time together will always be more meaningful than spending money on one things.
I do understand that lots of women do care for things like this though. I think anything up to 200k is fine, but going over that starts to get unreasonable imo.
There is a story related to 3 months salary but I’m not sure how accurate it is;
When there is war and illnesses, if something happens to husband, or if he lefts the wife, that ring becomes an insurance for the wife to survive and get back on her feet. ( also interwebs highly suggests that there was a ad campaign From de beers which make this 3 months salary popular perception) .
If we come to your question I ask her hand for marriage with a kinder surprise and spent like 30$ on both rings. -silver, custom made.
Hope this helps 🙂
It’s been so long I can’t remember… and we skipped engagement and went straight to wedding rings. But my wife wasn’t picky, she just wanted rings–as a symbol, proof, marking/declaration, or whatever.
Wore them for some years, but then my wife, a musician who would take her ring off to play/perform… …lost her ring.
I wore mine for a while after that, and eventually stopped wearing it. But I do know exactly where mine is upstairs in a drawer. It’s in a little box along with some old kids’ teeth that the ‘tooth fairy’ collected from under their pillows.
And hey, our 35th anniversary is coming up in january!
We didn’t do engagement rings and also didn’t do wedding bands. Don’t wear rings. We are fine and thrifty when we have to be. To us the whole 1 month salary cost for a ring thing is just another scam that has become a norm.
Not married and not a guy, but lab made gems are just as pretty and cost way less. You the the designs she likes now and her size.
My wife and I spent USD200 each on wedding rings. No regret!
I actually have lost mine when swimming in Katsuura. I am glad my ring didn’t cost a few thousands simply for this reason.
100,000 for each of our rings. No point in spending a lot of money for something I won’t wear everyday. My first job had me working with an Ar glovebox and my second job I had to work in a semiconductor clean room both of which prohibited rings. Well now I guess I could wear a ring as a software engineer but I don’t feel like it anymore.
1. A friend of mine paid his friend in America to pick up a $2800 engagement ring for $350 at a pawn shop. That was around 300,000 yen back in the day.
2. His fiancee was very pleasantly surprised when she looked up the ring on the internet and found its value.
My friend didn’t lie about the ring. It’s genuine, and his wife loves it, is proud of it, and wears it to this day. And my friend paid a very fair price for the ring and didn’t have to donate over a month of his salary to the deBeers diamond cartel.
0 I asked my mom my grandma ring