TLDR; I’ve studied a lot for 3 years and am just now breaking into intermediate.
I have pretty severe OCD, and it’s affected my Japanese for the entirety of the about 3 years I’ve been studying. My problem is essentially that after I finish a textbook or get ready to move on to something else, I restart because I feel like I’m not good enough and haven’t learned enough to continue. I’ve been using italki for about 3 years with a bare minimum of 3 hour-long classes per week (Since last year I’ve been doing them at least 6 times a week, usually 7). But I am just now starting tobira because of my problems. I’ve gone through the entirety of japanese from zero twice, genki 1 and 2 twice, and recently MNN 1 and 2. Along with some intermittent study of N5 and N4 level material. Basically the way it worked was that I would get a teacher, study with them until I finished a textbook, felt for some reason that I wasn’t ready to move on and that I needed to 100% start over, would get a new teacher, pretend I didn’t have japanese knowledge, and pay money to go through lessons with teachers to relearn the same things that I’ve already gone over with another teacher. It was a vicious cycle that caused me to waste a lot of time. But recently (almost exactly a year ago) I was able to stick with one teacher. I started over per usual and started MNN 1 with her about a year ago, and I’ve been scheduling lessons 7 days a week with her (apparently she has nothing else she wants to do other than teach japanese, and I have nothing better to do either). Recently I finished MNN 2 with her after about a year and we’ve JUST moved on to Tobira. I’ve done 1 lesson with her in Tobira so far. I’ve owned the tobira book for probably over 2 years, and this is the first time I’ve actually gotten into it. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to continue doing good and actually get through this textbook with this same teacher and not start all over again like I’ve been doing. I feel like the only reason I’ve been able to move on to an N3 level book though is because I’ve done all the N4 level textbooks. Like I had to check off all of the textbooks before moving on. And even now, I told her that after I finish Tobira with her, I want to go back and do Quartet 1 and 2. Idk. I said all that to say that I just ha a really weird problem and it’s hindered me from progressing as fast as I should’ve with how much time I devote to studying Japanese every day. Hopefully I’m getting better now that I’m taking medications consistently. I guess on the bright side I do kinda have a very good handle on the basics.
Did anyone have a problem similar to mine?