I know that the east Asia culture have so many levels of politeness. But in everyday life, how am I supposed to talk to stranger or people in this sub ? Does 敬語 means the ます system too ?
People I’m meeting for the first time who I don’t need to suck up to: です/ます *at first* – if they’re around your age or younger and you want to be their friend, you can drop the です/ます and replace with casual speak as soon as they do
– if they’re significantly older than you or they’re someone you respect/don’t want to be friendly with (e.g., teachers, doctors, colleagues at work) stick to です/ます.
You should only speak 敬語 if: – you’re giving a speech at an important event (like a wedding or graduation) -you’re at work and talking/writing a business email to or about a customer/client or more senior people in your company (especially in traditional Japanese companies) -You’re talking to or about some deity or the Emperor
TL;DR unless you want to suck-up to someone (usu. because they’re paying you) or give a formal speech, です/ます is fine when you’re meeting strangers.
I usually try to start somewhat formal, fail immediately and then it’s casual speech for the rest of the relationship.
If it’s anything formal though or you realise the other party isn’t dropping formalities it’s time to practice your 敬語 for real haha
2 comments
Here’s what I do:
People I’m meeting for the first time who I don’t need to suck up to: です/ます *at first*
– if they’re around your age or younger and you want to be their friend, you can drop the です/ます and replace with casual speak as soon as they do
– if they’re significantly older than you or they’re someone you respect/don’t want to be friendly with (e.g., teachers, doctors, colleagues at work) stick to です/ます.
You should only speak 敬語 if:
– you’re giving a speech at an important event (like a wedding or graduation)
-you’re at work and talking/writing a business email to or about a customer/client or more senior people in your company (especially in traditional Japanese companies)
-You’re talking to or about some deity or the Emperor
TL;DR unless you want to suck-up to someone (usu. because they’re paying you) or give a formal speech, です/ます is fine when you’re meeting strangers.
I usually try to start somewhat formal, fail immediately and then it’s casual speech for the rest of the relationship.
If it’s anything formal though or you realise the other party isn’t dropping formalities it’s time to practice your 敬語 for real haha