So as the title says my friend is showing some concerning signs of serious mental health issues. I’ve known her since I enrolled in my study program 2 years ago and we are in the same department. From the way she was behaving, I just assumed she was on the spectrum and I didn’t really give it much thought. Some of the behaviors she exhibited at the time were obsession with a certain person she knew irl. She’d keep pictures of and draw the person in her sketchbook all the time. I didn’t judge her for that, everyone has their own thing. That person is in a position of power in our department and was just doing their job. They had absolutely no inappropriate contact with her. I’m not sure why she developed this obsession. Other stuff she would do is she’d be doing work almost 24/7 and spends everyday in the department including weekends. This is also not very serious in my opinion. I noticed she would self harm often if she felt ignored by or if the person seemed to be disappointed in her. The self harm thing, I found out about maybe a year after knowing her. She’d make deep cuts on her hands or consume cleaning alcohol. Obviously that was concerning and I talked to her about seeking help for her issues including her attachment issues. She refused and said she could handle it. All I could do was talk her out of the negative state she’s in whenever it happened. Recently though, it has gotten worse and she had confessed to me that people speak to her in her head. She said that she wanted to kill someone but the voice in her head had stopped her. I told her this time that she really needs medical help and that it’s not normal. She doesn’t believe in medications though and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried about her and the people surrounding her.
Idk much about the mental health care system in japan. What can I do to help her receive the care she needs without her having to suffer? She is also a foreigner and she told me that she has attempted suicide before more than once. How to approach this without damaging her?
TLDR: my friend is showing signs of a severe mental health issue and I’m not sure how to help her.
5 comments
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I think the best option is to contact her relatives. She may have a history of this kind of behavior and she might have had periods when it escalated like this before. She may already have been medicated in the past and stopped. A couple of my friends suffered similar mental health issues and both of them had instances when they felt fine so didn’t need the meds only to have major episodes shortly after. However, you and I don’t know if this is the case with your friend so it is better to contact someone who might. If your friend is Japanese you may need an intermediator, mental health is still taboo with a lot of people here and I have seen LOTS of people deny mental health issues. You may be met with anger, please be careful.
Are you both students? If so then you need to go to the head of your program and snitch. If she is harming herself and talking about wanting to harm others, that is very serious and needs to be addressed, with or without her permission to do so.
If youre both working adults though Im not sure. In a foreign country she could be sectioned, but I dont believe they have that here.
This might be hard to listen, but it seems like there “might” be nothing you can really do then, and you need to contend with the reality of this. Because looking through this thread:
– She doesn’t really want to engage or acknowledge she needs help
– She doesn’t believe in medication
– You don’t know her family, and you say anyway her country of origin doesn’t really accept the idea of mental health issues
– You’re also worried that telling the department may jeopardise her career
Then there are very little options left, and you may have to accept the idea that no matter how hard you try, or have tried it’s just simply hard to try save everyone in life, especially at the expense of one’s own health (because keep in mind taking on such a burden also affects your mental health, which can lead onto impaired physical function such as stress, lack of sleep, which can lead onto a poor diet, then anxiety and or depression etc).
At this point I would say the two options that I can see are:
(1) Keep up trying to be a good friend to her, and see if you can convince her of the seriousness of this whole thing. Perhaps try and locate the emotional root of her negativity towards treatment and or medication. You say she is smart, yet she rejects the idea of medication and or seeking medical help. This is irrational for such a smart person, and the root of this irrationality may be unresolved emotional trauma she either hides, or even assumes doesn’t exist. See if you can talk to her about her childhood and piece a better image together.
(2) Perhaps what you can do is seek a medical professional yourself that is well versed in these issues in Japan (if there exists one), and try to ask them “what should you do in this situation?” rather than reddit. That is, how should one normally approach such cases, and just in case anything goes wrong, what is the best set of actions you can take. If following this point, make sure to visit multiple different doctors to get various professional viewpoints on the problem.
If she cuts herself and has suicidal episodes, then she belongs into a hospital, stat. Does she drink? Any drugs? Situation tough in Japan.