To make a long life story short and more relevant, I’m (American) finally having the opportunity to finish a linguistics degree and have been thinking a lot more over the last few months about trying to get into the JET program next year. Ironically, English teaching abroad was recommended to me all the way back when I was a freshman out of high school, and while my career took me a few different places along the way, it looks like that’s what I’ll be (trying to) doing finally. As I continue to think about it further, though, wanted to pick the subreddit’s thoughts on a few things that may or may not be complications on top of the “ideal” JET candidate with no worldly ties to hold them back.
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1. I have a family, married to a very sweet wife and a 5-turning-6 kiddo. In my wife’s case, she also wants to go to Japan, and if she was closer to having her degree she’d probably try to apply as a JET as well. I know that this immediately complicates some things as far as transportation and housing is concerned, so I’m definitely interested in the thoughts and experiences of folks who’ve taken a family with them in the program. In particular;
1. The boiler plate for the application more or less says a candidate is responsible for all the costs of transporting their family with them, but I know that individual experiences may vary. Has anyone had any help or subsidies in bringing a family over?
2. My kiddo is going into 1st grade next school year, and would likely be in 2nd/3rd by the time my degree is finished and the application process goes through. He’s been learning Japanese with me and my wife, so I’m less concerned on the language front, but I’ll admit to being at a complete loss as to how foreign kids enrolling in Japanese grade schools looks like, if that’s something even practical to begin with, or if it’s the sort of situation where he’d be better off staying back home with his grandparents (hard as that would be, and probably a dealbreaker tbh). Obviously I intend to do a lot of personal research on the subject, but folks’ experience with this would definitely be very helpful.
1. The extra-caveat there being that my son is also receiving special ed help due to a muscular speech issue he has. He’s made great progress with it and has kept up in the rest of his school metrics, so I feel confident that it won’t be as much (or at all, here’s hoping) an issue by the time this is a thing, but if anyone has experience or knowledge of what additional assistance there is for kids with special needs like that, definitely appreciate it.
2. A followup of the general “family” category as a whole, but definitely warranting its own bulletin point: I am a trans woman, married to another trans woman, with a marriage certificate that announces us as same sex wife and wife. I’m aware that Japan currently doesn’t recognize foreign same sex marriages, and am not exactly sure how the JET program officials would handle that for processing my wife as a dependent. I imagine my kiddo would have less of an issue, given that I’m on his birth certificate. I have less of any specific question on this so much as “welp, what do / what happens?”
3. The followup-followup there as well is the secondary part of that being that both me and my wife are trans. As far as documentation goes, we have driver’s licenses and passports updated with all the applicable details, a marriage certificate that lists things properly, and have more or less finished things medically. It’s also the sort of thing that requires continued medical intervention and I’m aware that it’s not unheard of for medical records to be shared in Japan with your employer, so it’s possible it’ll come up at some point even if I don’t give the heads up. So my main questions there would be,
1. How’s the hormone situation in Japan?
2. Socially, these things are always hit and miss, but for two mostly-passing trans gals, my initial impression is that getting misogyny’d is more likely than anything, but experience / hearsay is appreciated.
4. The apartment situation. I know it’s not uncommon for one’s BoE to find / provide subsidized apartments, but I imagine most of the ones offered are 1bed/suite affairs. Is subsidized family apartments readily available (in areas where that’s a thing, anyways) or does that become an additional “more expenses to handle yourself” sort of situation?
5. My wife would probably want to pick up some part time work while there to help out and keep herself from going mad from not having anything to do. Is that something that partners of JETs can realistically do?
Lot of questions and words but wanted to cover my bases, thanks y’all for any and all help!
6 comments
There are foreigners living in Japan with kids so it’s not impossible. But it’s also entirely likely that your child will be unable to understand any of the content at school and the school will give them minimal support to learn Japanese and you’ll be on your own. There is a growing problem in Japan where there are a growing number of foreign children but the public schools have no programs to assist them so there are a bunch of children going to school and learning absolutely nothing.
I would get in contact with your local consulate/embassy and talk to the JET coordinator as they will be best equipped to answer your questions
I don’t have direct experience with any of these things, but I have some miscellaneous knowledge that could be helpful.
1. Coming on JET with a family is totally doable. I know multiple people who’ve done it. Money might be a little tight though, so come with some savings if possible.
1. a. I’m not aware of anyone getting subsidies for family transport, but I’m far from the expert
2. b. There’s no national guidelines for how to handle Japanese Second Language (JSL) kids. As such it totally depends on the local school. If you’re placed somewhere with a large foreign population there might be a program already in place. Most likely though, you’re child will be the only JSL student at their school and you’ll work with the school to design a personalized plan. Most likely (since they’re so young) they’ll put them in regular classes with an assigned assistant teacher (who may or may not speak English) to give them one on one support. At that age, your child should pick up the language pretty quickly though. From there the next hurdle will be making sure they maintain their English.
1. i. Japan’s special ed programs (unlike their JSL programs) do exist, but aren’t as developed as in the US. I believe Japan only developed national guidelines for special education in about 2009 iirc. Special ed in Japan is divided into 3 main categories 情緒 (mood), 知的 (intellectual), and 言語 (linguistic). At least at my elementary schools, the three categories are treated more or less the same: students are a assigned a helper teacher who sits next to them in class. These are either regular teachers, or part time para-professionals. There are no IEPs or anything like that. From what I can tell, special ed kids are just exempt from most educational standards. The teachers usually have no additional special ed training or certification. Students may join the main class, or may receive one on one teaching in another room, depending on their ability level. And that’s about it. It’s possible the school could contract a specialist for your child, but I doubt it given the language barrier
2. Japan doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage, so your wife would be ineligible for a dependent visa. Talk to your local embassy. I’ve heard of same sex spouses being issues “designated activities” visas as a work around, but I’m not sure about how that works
3. I’m not trans, but from what I’ve heard, as long as your paperwork is in order, you should be fine. When filling out your application, list your need for hormones in the medical section and you should (hopefully) be placed in an area with access to a clinic. I would recommend doing some research into availability of hormone clinics in Japan so you can clearly lay out what your needs are in your application (ie will any city with an endocrinologist do? Do you need to be Tokyo/Osaka?) If you speak Japanese, here’s a [video](https://youtu.be/0yIkhEDrx0U) from a Japanese trans man about going to his hormone appointment. I recommend reaching out to Stonewall Japan for more information.
4. I would actually say it’s the reverse. I think it’s more common for BOEs to provide apartments/subsidies. It’s just that not all do. You’ll often be placed in teachers housing. Tokyo is the only place I’m aware of where you are entirely in charge of finding your own place to live. In my area someone just came with a family. The apartment her pred lived in was too small for a family, so the BOE changed her base school so that she could live in more spacious teacher housing.
5. This will be a bit more tricky since your wife won’t be on a dependent visa. Check with the embassy about work allowances for designated activities visas. Assuming her visa allows her to work, then it’ll be a bit difficult for her to find something without a degree. She’ll likely be limited to manual labor or convenience store work. A college degree is one of the requirements of a work visa, so she won’t be able to switch to getting a work visa in her own right. It sounds like she’s working on a degree currently though? If she can get her degree lots of doors will open for her in the eikaiwa (private English schools) world
You’re probably better off with an international school where your kid can continue learning in English (can be pricey). That plus any hormonal requirements probably limits you to the Tokyo area. You’re gonna struggle to support a family on a first year ALT salary and finding a decently sized apartment you can afford is gonna be next to impossible. As people have mentioned your marriage won’t be recognized, which could also complicate things. Not impossible, but very, very difficult. Good luck.
I wouldn’t bring a 5-7 year old to Japan for a few years. In my opinion it’s kind of cruel and has the potential to disadvantage them for years. They’ll miss out on key English developmental stages, learn Japanese and struggle with that as well as any school work. Then in all likelihood abandon Japanese again and be put into another school situation where they have to catch up on language while struggling with school work. If you were moving permanently it’d be less of a big deal language wise, but for 1-3 years it seems like it’ll only slow their learning down. Every bit of time they have to spend to catch up on language is time they won’t be progressing in other areas, so basically 90% of the time when they get to Japan, and who knows how long when they get back, but much more than you think.
Aside from language, I also think culturally it’s unfair to move a child around. I was moved from one English speaking country to another English speaking country as a child and honestly it’s given me a lot of identity and cultural issues that I have to deal with. A lot of feelings of permanent foreignness and not fitting in. At least I don’t have to deal with looking different too… It’s even harder when you look different and can’t interact immediately. Your child might have fun in Japan, but they might also just be bullied and feel out of place and miserable. And you might not have the power to do much about it.
So I wanna be clear in that I’m also **not** saying to leave them here and go without them. I know you mentioned it as a potential option. I actually think that’s an even worse idea… I was left with other adults for extended periods of time as a child and that also left me with huge attachment issues that I’ve had to spend a long time dealing with. That one is really not fun.
It sounds like I’m saying *”Don’t go”*, and while I kind of am, I’m more just saying *”Don’t go yet.”* Now is not the time in your childs life to either be moved temporarily or left behind. I’m not saying kids are stupid, but at that age they’re not fully able to grasp the gravity of these situations, so like, maybe wait another ~10 years until you can speak with them about it a little more clearly, gauge their feelings and see what they want and how they feel it’ll affect them. There’s no reason JET ALTs can’t be a little older. And then both you and your wife would be able to apply too.
I’m sorry to be negative. I’m just trying to speak from my own experience here as a person who’s struggled with both being moved and not being moved. I spent a lot of time as a kid wishing I’d had fully present parents in a fixed location, though I couldn’t articulate that at the time. If you want to DM me about my feelings/experiences I’m happy to talk.
I am a current JET who is teaching in a very populated city, I work with both Elementary School Kids and Junior High School Kids. ( before JET was a counsellor in my home town for specifically LGBT youth. )
I have a few students who are not of Japanese decent and a few that are of half Japanese decent. As soon as 3rd grade (when English is an actual class and not just songs) you see these kids that know English from home life just bow out. ** they also avoid being seen with each other **
The nail that stands out, gets hammered down. Even at an elementary level you see these kids pretend not to know English as knowing it makes them less “Japanese” and speaking it makes them different to their peers. Saying things incorrectly is still “funny” to them as they can and will laugh at mistakes. I have one boy who’s spend more of his life in Canada and is behind on Kanji – Fully Japanese won’t speak English with me unless it’s out of class.
In JHS once the kids have had a few years of formal study and get the main mechanics of English and not just greetings and colors “some” take a real liking to it – but it’s still very “cool” to be bad at English because they see it as impossible to learn.
Classroom knowledge of each other is pretty common from JHS on. The kids know mostly about every student in the class. From parent’s job, to which Juku they go to, to who is best at which sport and so on… Here – I’m sure some kids would find your family dynamic interesting, some unfazed, but there will always be those “public school kids who won’t go on to secondary education / or will go to technical school” who will poke fun at someone being different. Working with my JTEs however, they gossip just like anyone does. I know some of which student’s parents owns an English School, who only has one parent, who has no parents, who’s parent had did something bad, who is getting raised by grandparents …… etc.
Just some food for thought on how I could see it going down in my school.