So, my kids are not in school yet.
But both me and my husband are foreigners and our kids are still well under 3.
And I’m wondering, if I should subscribe for international school wait list or public Japanese school is all right?
Initially I thought public school is good, to study Japanese and integrate in the society, but a friend told me there is a big problem with bullying, especially for foreigner kids.
Does anyone here have their kids in public school? How is it going?
16 comments
Both of my kids go to a very typical local Japanese school and look non-Japanese. My son in particular didn’t speak Japanese all that well the first couple of years (grades 2-4).
Classmates have been very friendly. They weren’t the only non-Japanese kids in class, although we are definitely not in a ‘lots of foreigners’ area of Tokyo. School was also extremely supportive.
Parents are pretty involved with the school in Japan, which I think is great. We’ve seen cases of fights etc between students – foreigner or otherwise, because kids are kids so it’s not all puppies and rainbows. But on the occasions that our son was involved we’ve generally appreciated the school’s response, and other parents generally feel the same.
Bullying I’m sure happens. But I think parents of foreigners sometimes assume bullying when it’s just kids being kids, or it’s “Oh my child would never do anything, it must be bullying”, which is rarely the case.
Saying that bullying is a ‘big problem’ wildly overstated things. Wildly.
Perhaps the best way to “pre-integrate” your kid(s) into primary school would be to get them into a local daycare/kindergarten as early as possible. Language skills and socialization will get a huge boost–a big head start on kids who have stayed home. IMO, this is true not only for situations like yours, but also when one parent is japanese, and even when both parents are japanese. (and especially so when it’s a first kid)
Put your kids in kindergarten, Japanese or Intl. At that age I wouldn’t worry about bullying at either school. I had sons in public and Intl. schools at middle school level. Bullying was not much of a problem for them.
My husband and I are also foreigners and our 3 year old is in local yochien (she just started this year). The advice I’ve heard is to definitely start in local yochien/hoikuen if possible as they pick up the language and social skills (including Japan-specific social skills) very quickly at that age. My kid went from speaking zero Japanese to being able to communicate easily with friends (and she has lots!). She knows the proper way to handle shoes, bento, and the all important “janken” lol.
Our plan is to stick with local elementary school, but we’ll monitor her experience of course. Jr high though may be the time we switch to international schools as we assume that she’ll want to do college abroad— but those are all assumptions we’re making at this time.
My guess is your experience will depend on where in Japan you live. We live in one of the 23 wards of Tokyo (Setagaya); our child does not look Asian. He went to a local (private) *youchien* and now attends the local elementary school. So far as we know, he’s had no problems with not being Japanese. (However, it’s possible he’s simply not told us of anything; nevertheless, none of his teachers, who communicate regularly, has mentioned anything.) One year there was another non-Asian-looking kid in one of his classes, and we heard nothing about bullying directly related to background or appearance regarding that child, either.
Sometimes there have been children who don’t understand Japanese (either because of developmental issues or having only recently moved to Japan) in his classes, but, again, we’ve heard nothing about bullying of those children either.
Everywhere has bullying. I’m from a small Canadian town with pretty much exclusively white people and there was still a ton of bullying. I don’t think it’s a Japanese thing or only a race thing. Full Japanese kids also get bullied a lot I’m sure, and kids all over the world get bullied for various reasons. I wouldn’t choose my school based on that. I’m sure even in international schools kids bully each other for other reasons
IMHO you don’t need to rush into international school. Our child goes to a local elementary school. He looks very foreign although mom is Japanese. Everyone locally knows his name even when we don’t know them.
We’ve been very happy with the local school. Prior to school we were speaking 100% English at home (wife was a translator/interpreter in a past job) but our child did go to houikuen. So, our main concern was language, but after a year of elementary those concerns go away and you start worrying about English! : )
Anyway, lots of friends and no bullying.
We will continue monitoring. One thing we haven’t totally stopped worrying about is language and language of instruction so that’s something to think about.
Side note: I’m an older parent so most of my friends are empty nesters, or just about, now. Bullying definitely was an issue with mixed Japanese/non-Japanese in the past. It may be overstated now, but it was definitely a thing 20 years ago. Then around mid-00s it became very trendy to have “talento” that are mixed or grew up in Japan and I gather that made non-Japanese much more relatable. If there is an issue now, I tend to think it is more of just a kid thing than a foreign thing.
I guess it depends on how long you plan to stay in Japan. If it is permanent I would say it is better for your kids to go to our local school. They need to learn how to communicate and be a part of the community. My kids and I have been doing schooling in Japanese public schools for 6 years. I have seen my kids bullied occasionally, and the school always steps in and handles it. I’ve also seen Japanese kids bullied in schools. My husband and I are both foreign as well if that makes any difference.
It really depends on the school and each class circumstance. Many schools, teachers, and communities take bullying very seriously and are very inclusive of kids that look different, sound different, or that are differently-abled. Other schools may have a reputation or a problem that is not being actively addressed by school administration, teachers, or neighborhood attitudes. I think that typically school districts which are in more progressive and family oriented neighborhoods will likely be more attuned to fostering an inclusive environment for all, though there are always examples where it is not the case of course.
I think you may want to test the waters in your area and get your kids into some daycares in your school district even if it’s just on a part time basis to get a sense of how they are being treated by staff, other kids, and how interactions with other parents are. It also helps for them and your family to start developing friendships with others in the neighborhood with whom they may grow up together with. This is also the case regardless of whether one looks Japanese or not.
Also just as a general opinion, I tend to agree with you about integration and my view is that if you want your children to integrate more into Japanese society and really grow up with Japanese cultural values then raising them through the Japanese public school system from a young age can be important to have that sort of shared sense of cultural upbringing and belonging. If you are thinking of having your family leave Japan at some point or don’t feel it is necessary or desirable for your kids to identify so strongly as Japanese, then international school might offer more flexibility and a small but unique niche for them to feel a part of. This is also assuming affordability and that the cost of multiple private school tuitions for 12+ years is not going to put undue strain on your family finances.
I think it depends where you live. More expensive areas are associated with better schools which may reduce the likelihood of bullying. Having been an ALT in some rough parts of Chiba, compared to some better parts, the difference in student behavior attitudes is night and day.
Mine is just a toddler still, but having several years’ ALT experience at a variety of schools, the answer is: it varies widely. I’ve seen foreign kids who were just part of the class and seemed to interact with others normally through elementary school into JHS.
The saddest case I saw was a poor kid from South America who couldn’t speak any Japanese and didn’t really seem to have any friends at the school. The look on his face when I spoke to him in Spanish was heartbreaking. He was berated by his English teacher for not understanding instructions, and when I went to see him in a remedial class, it was him and the head teacher (who was doing his best but was far from a Japanese as a second language teacher) going over a textbook in the dryest way possible. I was only there one day a week at best, and the company pulled me out of there soon after. I hope he’s ok.
So basically, the key is to do your homework and make sure your kid has a decent set of Japanese friends. Bullying can be a big problem, so you have to be aware and on top of it. Go talk to the schools and read the air. We pass by the local elementary school, and the teachers out there always make a point of interacting with my daughter, so it makes me feel better about the administration at least, if she goes there.
The other piece of advice I’d have is to make sure your Japanese is up to snuff so you can advocate for your child. That’s something my spouse and I are lacking and need to work on.
Our two ‘half-chan’ kids are in public schools. No significant bullying problems. The youngest had some mild issues (erasers being stolen, and some idiot messing with his tablet PC) but I don’t think that had anything to do with his ‘halfness’.
It’s really going to depend on where you are living, and bullying does happen but it’s not as prevalent as people think. Over the last couple weeks I’ve hung out with many other foreigners who have children about my son’s age and older, no one has had any problems with bullying and some of their children are clearly not fully Japanese.
The important thing is that they are integrated into the community and culture. Get them into local public yochien and they will start making friends with other kids who will be going to the same elementary school as your child. The local public yochien will also allow them to do all the normal Japanese kids things so they have those same cultural experiences. They will likely get to do the field trips, overnight trips, all the holidays, visits to elementary schools, etc that often are skipped at private yochiens.
The bullying thing is extremely over-exaggerated. As many other users have pointed out bullying will be a potential problem wherever you live in the world. A lot of parents freak out and think their kid is being bullied when they’re not and that certainly doesn’t help problems either. And when their kid is actually being bullied a lot of international parents tend to freak out and assume it’s because their kid is foreign when that’s rarely the case (it’s often a potential outlet for the bullying, but rarely the actual reason). Kids get bullied because they’re perceived as vulnerable.
More importantly, you’re talking about kindergarten; kids don’t even have the capacity to understand the concept of race until shortly before they turn 6. You won’t have any problems with that in kindergarten, and if you’re truly worried about bullying then it would be more beneficial to get them into school from that younger age and have them be around those other kids so that those kids get used to the idea of having a classmate who looks different well before they understand the concept of race. Putting them in a Japanese kindergarten would also reinforce Japanese as their primary language and as they would have essentially the same upbringing as everyone else and have clear communication skills they would be far less likely to be bullied later on than if they went to an international school and then later transferred into a regular Japanese school.
And for the record: your kid can get bullied in international schools too.
Probably depends on the area a lot. My kids – part Japanese, part ‘NZ’ (whatever that is) – have had few problems from daycare though to junior high school. A friend in a smaller city (where I get quite a few looks of I’m walking with my kids) said his kids got quite a hard time.
My kids are half-Japanese.
Although my wife’s work would pay for an international school; we decided that it was important for them to go to a Japanese school for various reasons.
They love it. But, I think bullying is going to depend more on the individual kids, and the lottery of classmates, than race. Bullies will find something to bully a kid over.