I have a friend in Japan and we communicate via chat messenger on occasion (in English), and met up a couple times in Japan when I visited. He recently reached out asking if I knew anyone that would be interested in buying something he is selling. I was just going to politely say no in English but I was thinking about how in Japanese culture it is considered rude to be so direct with “no.” He knows enough English language and culture to not take offense, but I started wondering how a Japanese speaker would say no to this in Japanese. I know いいえ by itself is rude.
I tried using search bar to answer my question but a few similar posts were talking about hand and head gestures to accompany their responses and since this is strictly text I was wondering if there were different ways. I tried googling as well but I got so many different ways I became overwhelmed.
出来(でき)ない
ダメ
無理(むり)
厳(きび)しい
難(むずか)しい
大変(たいへん)
微妙(びみょう)
忙(いそが)しい
結構(けっこう)です
20 comments
いないと思います。
いやー、それはちょっと・・・
Keep it simple and hesitant
Just say あかん
The most polite way I know to say “NO” in Japanese is “That would be difficult”. “Chotto muzukashii”. I’m sure your friend will understand this meaning.
Do people just say “no” to friends like that in English? That seems a bit blunt/rude, even here in the US. I’d at least explain myself instead or something, if not actually be helpful.
I’d say
知らないけど、もし誰かが買いたいなら教えてあげるよ！
EDIT: Sorry! I think what I wrote sounds about strange now as I’m trying to mix casual speech with 丁寧語.
もし誰かが買いたいならまた連絡します。-> Much better 🙂
もし誰かおったら教える。-> how I would say it naturally (here in Osaka)
I would just say ごめん、”誰も知らないんです😥“ it’s polite and straight to the point. I don’t think you have to roleplay a stereotypical Japanese person and go “えっと…それはちょっと…“
That depends on the context, situation, relationships, gender/age of the responder and willingness/hesitation the responder wants to imply. Not knowing these details, it’s impossible to give you an appropriate answer, but as an example of a common negative reply to your friend’s inquiry, I’d say, う～ん、（残念ながら）知り合いにはいないかなあ. Following with something like 興味ある人いたら紹介しとくね/よ！is a formula if you want to be more polite or want to make it sound more positive.
The point in avoiding to be rude towards your friends is adding a softener and explaining yourself. Though a phrase いやー、それはちょっと…（難しいですね）with no explanation is commonly used in business-settings but sounds cold in conversations with your friends.
Anyway, it’d be better to politely say no in English if you always communicate with him in English.
Edit: Changed wording of and added a couple of words to the Japanese phrases.
How about a good old 絶対に無理
Or maybe not
Just reply in English saying you don’t know anyone. If you reply in Japanese it may be weird to him. None of my Japanese friends here would think twice if I said “sorry, I cant/don’t know” to something.
>I was just going to politely say no in English but I was thinking abouthow in Japanese culture it is considered rude to be so direct with “no.”
That’s only true if saying “no” could be considered an affront (like shooting down someone’s idea for example). Then people would try to let you down nicely. But “sorry, I unfortunately don’t know anyone” wouldn’t be considered impolite by anyone.
The shorthand I learned for saying ‘no’ is to just repeat the same thing back in a negative. Or just the verb for short.
For example in your case the question “is there anyone who (something)” = “(something) いますか”
And I answer “(something) いません”.
Of course there will be better colloquial things to say but this has served me well.
Even in English, I’d sooner say “I’ll ask around, but your best bet is an auction site like Ebay or Mercari” than a direct no
The response would be similar to what you would say in English, which is being helpful but not making promises.
僕は詳しくないけど周りの友達に聞いておく/みる
Adjust politeness as needed
Come on guys. The answer is daijyoubu. Do you want a bag? Daijyoubu. Wanna fuck? Daijyoubu.
A lot of other people have already offered you concrete Japanese suggestions, so I just want to offer something more general. I think a lot of people overblow the idea that Japanese communication is a cryptic code that is completely foreign from their native language. It’s often surprising how similar Japanese is to, say, English. English may not have 尊敬語 and 謙譲語, but we definitely choose different words and phrases for different situations based on how we “socially stack up” against the other party.
As some have said, I think it’s best to treat it like you would in English – Apologize for not being able to help your friend, politely decline, wish him good luck, all of that good stuff. Whether or not you nail the exact Japanese is probably not as important as clarifying your intent.
Tbh reading some of the answers made realize how low the 日本語力 of this sub reddit is.
Imo 「それはちょっと… 」sounds either like you know someone and don’t want to tell them for some reason or you can’t be bothered to help them because it’s 面倒くさい
This kind of subreddit is good for finding recourses but not good for asking these kinds of questions. You are essentially asking just someone with training wheels how to ride a bike. Hellotalk is much better for these kind of questions as you can ask native speakers.
I went to Japan a few years ago and barely spoke enough to get by. Very basic probably elementary level at best. I’m used to saying “no, thank you” in English and knew of the importance of etiquette, but couldn’t figure out the translation.
I ended up typically saying, “いいえ, りがとうございます”
Everyone was super polite and kind about my broken Japanese and they seemed to understand, but now I’m wondering how bad that sounded or if they at least understood I was attempting to be polite…
Think about how you’d reply to another native English speaker… if it was an English conversation you’d probably say something like “I’ll have a think and let you know”. Unless he’s trying to sell soiled underwear or something it’s kinda hard to just immediately say “no”, surely…
Like 考えてみますよ！or something. But as you talk in English, keep it in English… don’t overthink it
Can’t you just lie and say “I’ll ask around!” And then be evasive or see if he forgets? I feel like that’s what Japanese people would do 😛