Tldr; Got stalked today by an old guy who was trying to talk to me while waiting for the train in one train station in northern Tokyo.
It started when i was looking for the way to get to the ramp and i saw the elevator going to the ramp where i should be. I thought he was just one of those friendly old people lining up for the elevator who was just being nice by letting me in the elevator first. He was signalling i go in the elevator but i signalled back that he should get in but he didnt. The elevator door was about to close so i tried to squeeze myself in and i just bowed to him as a thank you as the elevator finally shut for letting me in first. As I waited and sat for the train to come, the same old guy sat next to me and offered to shake hands but he was already giving me weird vibes so i said “huh???” Then i heard him say “isshou desu” like telling me we’re taking the same way but i ignored him. By this time i was already texting my boyfriend that some weird old guy was trying to talk to me. The train came a minute later so i pretended to line up for it so i could get up from the seat and get away from him and i saw him get on the train as i did. Fortunately he didnt sit anywhere close to me so i thought he wont bother me at all anymore but i was still watching him just in case. I thought he wasnt going to get off the next station where i got off because i was watching him and saw him didnt get up his from his seat so i thought i was already safe as i went to exit the station and line up for the elevator going up to my next train line but i saw him running towards the exit, turned and followed me inside the elevator and tried to squeeze me on the corner even when there’s still a lot of space inside. Only 6 people inside the elevator including me and the creepy old guy which could otherwise fit 9 people – it wasnt cramped inside at all. The first attempt to squeeze me i moved to the free space while the elevator was going up the next floor. The elevator door opened and he got off and i thought he’s gone and I was safe so i moved back to the corner of the elevator but he saw that and came back inside the elevator and tried to squeeze me again so i moved to the free space again and faced him. He got off again so i moved to the corner again and i saw him wave his hand at me like saying goodbye (maybe pretending he knew me so he could save face from the other people inside the elevator) as the door started closing but he decided to get inside the elevator and squeeze me again. And i just did the same thing and moved to the free space while facing him with angry eyes this time. He finally decided to get off for real and the door closed to move up. The elevator didnt close for a minute because of him.
Felt his skin when he squeezed me in the corner, so gross.
The people in the elevator were just watching all the movements, as if theyre confused whats happening, noone did anything. I was only able to muster to say something as i answered my boyfriend’s video call while still inside the elevator in panic when the door finally shut and the elevator went up and i yelled “he’s fucking following me!” in English like to my boyfriend on video call and to the people who were still inside the elevator with me like i was the crazy one.
I shouldve said something in Japanese like 何が欲しいの、なんでフオローしての to scare him off but I couldnt speak and confront at the time because i was so scared by whats happening. Or i couldve just gotten out and ran up the stairs instead of taking the elevator but my brain was too busy processing my next move to get away in an enclosed space. I felt i was being cornered but i shouldve just gotten off the train station.
I’ve been nampa’d in Shibuya and Shinjuku before but they always left me alone when i didnt respond and they never touched me.
I always thought and imagined i would be able to say something if someone tried to harass me that bad in public but my brain was so blank with fear and the fear overwhelmed me more than i could think or react. I know if i didnt move to get away from his squeezing for five more seconds every time he would squeeze me in the corner of the elevator, he would have done something else. Noone’s ever followed me like that before and was as aggressive as that.
It scared me so much that when i got to my home station i was watching my back the whole time in fear that he might follow me all the way to my house.
Girls, protect yourselves. It’s summer and the pervs are coming out.
20 comments
Welcome to Japan. Also, this can happen anywhere.
Yell チカン!!!! next time
Maybe get a buzzer alarm (大人用防犯ブザー)?
You’ll only have to pull on a string/press a button in case you panic. If people are around they’ll know something is up with the noise.
Next time, start taking pictures of him.
Your bf is Japanese? Point the front camera at the guy and let your bf say hello.
If ignoring them doesn’t work just yell at guys or religious pests forcefully in English. They will certainly get the gist. I usually give them something like “What is your fucking problem asshole??!! FUCK OFF!!” So far that’s done the trick 😉
Should just give him a Fran Drescher HUH???? loudly at anything he does
>I shouldve said something in Japanese like 何が欲しいの、なんでフオローしての to scare him off
I recommend something unambiguous that can’t be misinterpreted. Next time point at him and yell 痴漢！
That should warn the people around you about what’s going on.
I always hated the advice that you should yell something out, every time something like this has happened to me I’ve been too shocked by the situation to even react in the moment and people who haven’t experienced it never seem to understand this. You did well and you got away safe, don’t beat yourself up for not saying anything.
Do you have to take elevators? It sucks if you do, but sometimes they are hard places to be safe in, at least compared to escalators. It always hard to do the right thing in the moment. Sadly, that makes you better prepared for the next time.
One of my friend was harassed by a old drunk Japanese at Shinjuku station. An old guy was asking her to go to a men’s toilet with him. He was literally dragging her. Then she screamed and he ran away. Then after a year, an old guy out of nowhere approached and proposed to her saying that he has lots of money so she should marry him and my friend yelled.
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I guess yelling/screaming works!
Just asked my Japanese wife, she recommends saying ”何で後をつけるくるの?”
Not “follow” in katakana. “Follow” is an online thing only, like following your favoirite youtuber. Good for you for standing up for yourself anyway!
Something strange about a lot of old dudes here. Everywhere I’ve lived there’s always that one Oji’san who keeps trying to get me to go over to his house.
Recently, I’ve stopped going to our spot to throw the bin bags because he’s been waiting around to catch me on bin day. I had to start sneaking our rubbish into the neighbors spot the evening before because I just don’t want to deal with him twice a week.
I’m a dude, so it’s not exactly sexual but this guy isn’t all there and I’m worried he’ll find out where I live (very close) and it makes me worry for my wife/soon child – my wife said when she was younger he tried to wrap her dog in metal wire!?
Most basic almost fool proof thing is call them out really loudly so everyone hears and starts looking at them. Absolutely nothing wrong with “causing a scene” when it for your protection, safety, comfort, etc
>Girls, protect yourselves. It’s summer and the pervs are coming out.
What?
クソジジイ死ね also works especially in front of a lot of people
martial arts tip: the bones on the top of the foot are small and kinda thin. They’re relatively easy to break. Take your heel and drive it into the top of their foot; imagine that your heel is going all the way through to the ground. Twist it back and forth and really drive it in there. This is extremely painful and will make a person forget about pretty much anything else they’re doing. If someone grabs you, stomp the fuck out of their foot and use the moment of pain and shock to twist your body out of the hold and get away. If it doesn’t work, stomp again. And again. And again.
Also can recommend a good old fashioned kneeing straight in the nutsack. You use like the top of your knee, basically the end of your femur. Shove it right in there. Imagine blowing a through their body. They ain’t gettin up after that.
I won’t be surprised that he was following you from a week ago, a month ago, half a year ago.. maybe he only had the guts and chance to strike a conversation with you this time around.. so I would suggest to watch your back. Not just from him, but from other predators as well. Lot of loons there.
First off, please please please don’t beat yourself up over what you “should have” or “could have” done in the moment. When it’s happening it’s like your mind can just go blank, you’re panicked and simply trying to stay safe. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re trying to process what is even happening. This guy was creepy and there is no way he didn’t know what he was doing. His behavior was unacceptable.
Please take care of yourself and allow yourself to get angry, cry, etc to process everything. If you feel comfortable, I’d suggest reporting the incident. If there are cameras around the station and/or elevator police can confirm and have the behavior on record. If there is a Japanese person you trust to share this information with, ask them to go with you for support and any communication you might struggle with.
A month ago a guy followed (and seemingly filmed) me in a store, then waited for me outside to try to follow me home (+ more filming). Most women I know have experienced similar situations to mine and yours. Do whatever helps you feel more safe (alarm on bag, different route, venting with friends, etc). Sending you hugs
Just give him a stink eye look. Works every time. People pray on people who look weak & vulnerable, if you look like you ain’t take shit no shit gonna come your way.
Been here 9 years, never been harassed or even had any random man talk to me in the street. Stink eye works like a gem