Hey all.
Is hard for me to write this, I’ve been in depression on and off for quite some time, last time it hit me cus I arrived here during covid did not knew anyone, everything was closed and I was working alone in my apartment. I sometimes was talking to myself and drinking alone in parks, I managed to get better by going out to the nature and do hikes and stuff, I’ve met ppl in meetup and stuff. I haven’t been in the outside (nature/hiking) that much recently so I guess that’s not helping me.
For some weird reason, since yesterday I feel like, I just want to be in my bed and sleep for a week, or just do nothing.
I live with my gf and apartments here are small so I don’t have a place where I can be alone. Sometimes after work I just want to arrive and turn my brain off watching YouTube, but since I live with her is impossible.
Today I feel terrible, I feel like I’m going to explode and yell at everyone for no reason, I have this internal monologue in my head and my thoughts are going in circles. I was supposed to be happy cus most of my coworkers are back in the office after 2 years, but these thoughts in my head keep popping up.
When I felt like this in my home country I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore and that I needed to go to a mental institution and ask to be accepted there. I am having these thoughts right now, the problem is that, I need to work to get money, I am not sure if I can ask for a medical leave/discharged for mental health reasons, and even if I can, I don’t know where I should go.
Anyone knows something about this?
I asked days off, so I am thinking on going to the mountains and simply walk for now, but I think this could not be a whole solution.
7 comments
Sounds like you’ve got a depression…
It’s a problem and a doctor should be able to help with it. If you work in a proper company, talk to HR, they’re obliged to connect you to a therapist.
Meanwhile, going outside, walking actively, especially doing sports greatly helps with coming back to normal.
Go to a net/manga cafe and just chill
Communicate with your gf what is happening.
You have the classic symptoms of depression. Go to a doctor and get some help. Speak to your GF. Get more exercise and change your diet if necessary. Get more quality sleep. Drink less. It sounds like a lot but it can really change things.
It sounds like you may have intrusive thoughts and a negative internal monologue. Are they causing you a lot of anxiety?
I suggest looking into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), meditation, and potentially antidepressants. CBT can help with a negative internal monologue, ACT with intrusive thoughts, and meditation can teach your brain over time to relax and quiet down.
Also, get your health checked out. For example, thyroid issues are known to cause depression. You may find vitamin D and/or magnesium supplementation helpful.
>For some weird reason, since yesterday I feel like, I just want to be in my bed and sleep for a week, or just do nothing.
oh. I thought that’s an average life situation . So I need a doctor too…
Agreed with most comments here: typical depression.
First, it is important to self-acknowledge that during depression your brain function and your thoughts are impaired. So whenever you want to do something important or with potential strong consequences (f.i.: resigning, buying air tickets to return to your country, getting a card loan to survive with no job until you get better…), stop yourself and do not act alone. Have your girlfriend in the decision process.
Second, take an appointment asap to a mental clinic close to your residence. You will need regular appointments from now, to get your prescription and regular check ups. Do not chose a clinic which is too far.
Third, force yourself to do physical exercise. It could be walking for instance. I would recommend cycling, but anyway it should be aerobic. This will enhance your brain oxygenation and produce dopamine, which will help with mood swings. Also, it helps flushing bad thoughts. Do physical activity everyday.
Edit: physical activity will also help you falling asleep and sleep longer, which is important for recovery.
Fourth, if you are a Seishain in a local company, you are eligible to long term medical leave with up to 70% of your current income to be paid by your insurance. The allowed length depends on many years you have been working in your company. You need to get a letter from your mental health physician. If you are working in a big company, you will also need to have an interview with the labour doctor, who will keep track of your health regularly (monthly if my memory is correct). Only this doctor can decide if you are fit or not to return to work. This doctor is an ally, not an enemy. No worries to have during interviews.